To think everyone must have the odd Dark Day as a parent?

[NapQueen]

It can't all be roses in the garden every day can it?

I've had one of those days today. Compounded by the fact that DS had me up from 5am; I'm due on; dd 4 has been rather trying.

I even had a little cry in the bathroom earlier. Dh is amazing. Hands on, total equal parent. I imagine if he wasn't I'd have many more of these days.

I just feel so miserable and tense today. And a bit vommy. I need my bed I think but similarly I need the time after bedtime to relax alone in the bath.

Everyone has days like this surely? Or am I just not really cut out for motherhood?

Cheer up. It gets better after about 18 years

I had pneumonia late Feb and into March and on paper you'd think it was ideal - bed rest, kids at their usual childcare, etc. I hated it. I couldn't do anything. The walk from the bed to the loo rendered me useless.

Nation I chuckled at guilt free minibreak

This is the best thread I've read on here for a long time.

Chronic fucking sleep deprivation means most of my days are dark at the moment. They include lots of trips to the bathroom to MN whilst pretending to have a poo. I also called my baby a prick today. Excellent.

Anyone who says they have never had a dark day as a parent is either deluded or lying. That doesn't mean I'm not grateful got my DCs. I am. But I'm also human.

I feel normal after reading this, some days are so hard and tiredness makes everything so much harder.

My dh is like bloody mother Teresa he has so much patience with dd, he looks at me like I'm crazy when I get stressed. Him and his zen like fucking patience 😁😁😁

Mine are 17 and 10. I still have days when I just want to actually weep with frustration (my thread today on the missing socks goes some way to explain this).

But I think every stage brings it's own dreadfulness. DD1 was a projectile vomiter but slept through from 5 weeks. DD2 didn't vomit but didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time for 4 years. I was tripping over the bags under my eyes.

Now I'm dealing with hormones, a child who is being assessed for autism while dealing with my own health issues and there are days when I do just have to take to my bed because I'm in too much pain to walk further than the bathroom, never mind get downstairs. On those days I thank god for the drugs I'm prescribed and DP being able to cook more than beans on toast.

I sometimes fantasise about needing a hospital admission for a few days: nothing mega serious, painful or life threatening, just something that requires a side room with Netflix. Basically a guilt-free mini break with an adjustable bed and doctors orders to rest and do bugger all. wink

there was the old saw in Ireland that pregnant women about to go into The Coombe to have a baby would be asked "when are you going in for your holidays?" And the poor buggers did see it as a holiday-a week of lying in bed having your dinner served up to you.

I can relate.- - except I have teens

We had a pretty "dark" afternoon yesterday. I took the dcs to the cinema in the morning. Dh took the buggy to work in the car so 2yo ds2 had to walk to the station which took double the time it usually does but that was fine as I had planned for it. Also 2yo first cinema trip since he was a bf baby. It went well but afterwards it was pouring with rain and I had to exchange some holiday clothes for dh as we are going away at the weekend. Moaning big kids and a tantrumming toddler plus rain meant that was a bit stressful.

Back home they turned feral, charging round screaming and maniacally laughing. I had lost all control and they wouldn't settle to any activity I suggested for more than 2 minutes. It was all pretty fraught, I made dinner at 4:30 just to get them to sit and calm down!

Today we are going for a picnic at the park. It's still raining. There is no shelter. I think we are going anyway, the next few days are a bit scary to me as we have nothing planned and I don't have any ideas either.

I wonder if they'd be a niche business opportunity here?

Nation's (guilt free) Rest Home for Parents with Nervous Exhaustion (visitors not permitted)

Haha can you imagine the premium they'd charge on that though. We would have to sell our kids on the black market for a ticket.

Which sort of defeats the object

I said to dh yesterday evening "I feel like I've had a good day today - I handled the 5.30am start, actually enjoyed taking DS round the soft play and I didn't feel too grumpy for most of it. All in a win I'd say"

Oh yes all the time. The kind of days when you wish you could phone in sick from parenting but realise you can't and have to do it every single day

My sister Home Educates her kids and I went along to a big event last year about home edding. I quipped that I need a break sometimes from my kids and got my arse handed to me - why did I bother having kids if I'm going to palm them off on someone else, don't deserve them etc. Fucking hell! Happily my sister and her closest friends don't take that view but I came away thinking what a load of sanctimonious twats. A more evil woman than me would have given their kids RedBull.

I know a group like that creasedup. They just completely destroyed a friend ( a new mum) who had a Facebook photo of her feeding her weaning child with a spoon. Reacted like she was flicking fissile uranium into his mouth with a samurai sword. She joined their group for support and they have reduced her to tears.
Sanctimonious bastards. It's all about the virtue signalling with them. Such perfect little stepford mummies. I guarantee if I was a fly on the wall round theirs at 3 am on a rough night and they wouldn't be so fecking perfect.

I breastfeed. I cosleep. I do BLW. I should be one of them, in theory, on paper...But, not once do I think of how it makes me look, I do it because it works for me and my headstrong, opinionated children, if it didn't work I wouldn't do it. I don't care how anyone else feeds their child or gets it to sleep because it is not my child and therefore none of my business . They do it so they can preach on Facebook, and post their poisonous little paragraphs about how nobody but them deserves to be a parent. They have destroyed the confidence of someone who needed their support l instead of saying 'you're doing fine, how can we help' they have said "we're better than you and here's why".

It gives me rage. I have to avoid them in the street. They are the only local mother/baby group and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

This thread is excellent. More parents should admit to occasional struggles instead of the shiny, Instagram filtered 'my perfect life' version so often seen on Facebook and its hell spawned ilk.

Bloody hell, grey, that is horrific. What utter bastards. Your poor friend.

Ugh grey I agree - bastards! if she's meeting them again (which I hope not) can you go with her and pick holes in THEIR parenting?

"Of course we do, especially when they are babies/toddlers. " Oooohhh I beg to differ! Toddlers are mere teens in training!

Don't get me wrong I adore and am very proud of my girl, but

She NEVER shuts up even when asleep
Eats constantly
Mostly kind thoughtful and considerate but can also be
Sarcastic, stubborn, opinionated and argue blacks white! Can't imagine where she gets that from
Spends the entire time she's home asking questions right from i first wake as in before eyes even open!

And ... hormones. We're synched so both tearful/sensitive or grumpy at the same time.

Conversation yesterday evening

Why did you say that?

What do you mean why are you getting upset?

Because that was so hurtful

How?

It was the way you said it

Well how should I have said it... you get the idea

What was said? Id really like if you'd put the phone back on the charger box when you're finished, both sobbing by end of conversation!

Like Christmas? Well, she might not be far off. There's a massive amount of organising, which usually falls to Mum. A disproportionate amount of the day is taken up with food, what to feed to whom, when, cries of 'I don't like sprouts/turkey/Christmas pud etc. There is a huge social expectation to enjoy it when actually it can be bloody hard work, and Facebook is full of photos of people who look like they're doing it better than you.

I hear you OP! Some days I am super mum, super wife, super worker with a spotless house, empty laundry basket and well fed and well behaved family and progress at work. This lasts for perhaps 2.5 days. Then some weeks I am a quivering wreck who can't find a matching pair of socks and who really can't be arsed to run the vacuum or pretend to enjoy any more Paw Patrol.
. It's a beautiful time.

Like Christmas? Well, she might not be far off. There's a massive amount of organising, which usually falls to Mum. A disproportionate amount of the day is taken up with food, what to feed to whom, when, cries of 'I don't like sprouts/turkey/Christmas pud etc. There is a huge social expectation to enjoy it when actually it can be bloody hard work, and Facebook is full of photos of people who look like they're doing it better than you.

I have frequent dark days. Two kids with Sen. Dd is constantly switched on and emotional and is jealous of one of the children with Sen. I'm also poorly so am basically laying on the sofa whilst they do whatever they want which for them means sitting on the iPad and which will mean utter crap for tea.

Yes. I have had many of those days. However, now they are 8 and 10 those days are fewer and between. It gets better when they are independent and you can sleep.

I'm finding the 3.5 morphing into a mini lawyer thing especially hard work as not only does he constantly want to do the opposite, he can give all his reasons why and somehow frequently out does me in every debate.

Only been up an hour and I'm begging him to watch tv but he won't comply.

I'm finding the 3.5 morphing into a mini lawyer thing especially hard work as not only does he constantly want to do the opposite, he can give all his reasons why and somehow frequently out does me in every debate.

Only been up an hour and I'm begging him to watch tv but he won't comply.

*Today I feel like it'd be quite nice to have a slipped disc or something. Then I could take to my bed and I wouldn't have to deal with the children.

That, or hospitalisation. *

I have recurring fantasies about developing a nice uncomplicated bout of appendicitis, and checking into the hospital for a few days.

I know it's irrational to think I'd get any sleep there, but at least I wouldn't have to fucking cook.

My life is full of cuddles and kisses.
Too bloody full!
My toddler co-sleeps permanently. This wasn't planned, but he wont sleep any other way. My left arm and shoulder will probably never recover from the heavy weight every night. He cuddles me a lot in the day too, which is lovely up to the point where I need to put him down to do stuff like make some food, or have a drink or a wee.
He likes to give me proper kisses which is great unless, like today, he is thick with cold and the yellow mucus is flowing.
My five year old talks nonsense fairly permanently. Mostly it's funny, but then I catch him teaching nonsense words to the toddler who is already speech delayed....
Aagh.
Some days are fine and happy. Others have me reaching for the wine, followed by Baileys.
As has been said before, most of it would be water off a ducks back if they'd only let me sleep properly.