Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone must have the odd Dark Day as a parent?

151 replies

NapQueen · 29/05/2016 19:11

It can't all be roses in the garden every day can it?

I've had one of those days today. Compounded by the fact that DS had me up from 5am; I'm due on; dd 4 has been rather trying.

I even had a little cry in the bathroom earlier. Dh is amazing. Hands on, total equal parent. I imagine if he wasn't I'd have many more of these days.

I just feel so miserable and tense today. And a bit vommy. I need my bed I think but similarly I need the time after bedtime to relax alone in the bath.

Everyone has days like this surely? Or am I just not really cut out for motherhood?

OP posts:
EquinoxBloom · 29/05/2016 20:16

It's the tiredness. If I was refreshed I could better put up with the fucking wall to wall crap that some days are entirely filled with.

But if I'm tired, forget it. I fucking can't cope at all except with lots of tea, wine, chocolate and hiding in the bathroom pretending to have a wee.

That's why bedtime is early in this house. Single parent too which doesn't help at all. Bank holiday weekends

onecurrantbun1 · 29/05/2016 20:18

I had part of one today. I cried in Sainsburys because I had a £3 off£20 voucher and the shopping came to £19.80 and the woman wouldn't scan the carrots again to get me over the £20. On a normal day - a minor annoyance... this morning it was the end of the world. My 4.5 year old is being very trying right now - oscillating between lovely and sweet and a little devil. Nothing I did this morning was good enough. A nap, chocolate and fresh air (for us bot!) seems to help

PuntasticUsername · 29/05/2016 20:19

YANBU. Yesterday I had to have a little cry because toddler DS2 didn't want to put his trousers on and I am just so damn TIRED of the toddler shit sometimes.

Then DS1 came and gave me a "tortoise high-five" to cheer me up - as you may have guessed, this is a high-five executed at about 1/20th of the normal speed, accompanied by his usual massive grin. He made me laugh and we had a cuddle and suddenly it was all worthwhile again.

Canyouforgiveher · 29/05/2016 20:26

I have teens (and really they are not that bad). Some days I want to run away. This morning dh and I met up with 3 other adults for coffee - it was lovely. We swapped horror stories about our teens (and their's aren't that bad either).

Loads of dark days. but lots of good days too. Sometimes in the same day now that I think of it.

An acquaintance told me recently that being on maternity leave is like having Christmas Day every day and that her days are filled with kisses, cuddles and laughter hmm

She is on drugs. or glue. or something. or maybe she just had shite christmasses as a kid.

BeagBoo · 29/05/2016 20:27

Yep! DS is 15 months and seems to have hit the terrible twos early. Regular tantrums including over not being allowed to pull my hair out at the roots. It's fun.

NationMcKinley · 29/05/2016 20:31

Fuck yes.

Bee182814 · 29/05/2016 20:34

IME the only parents I know who claim not to have these days are the ones who never seem to be the ones actually looking after their child! I have several friends who are constantly palming their kids off. I have been sahm to my DS since he was born (he's about to turn two) not a single day has gone by in his life where I haven't done absolutely everything for him and sometimes it feels like an overwhelming responsibility to be the whole world to this little person so yes, I have lots of these days. Especially at 27 weeks pregnant! Don't beat yourself up about it, have a cup or tea/glass of wine/slice of cake or all three to reward yourself for getting through the day!

EquinoxBloom · 29/05/2016 20:43

maybe she just had shite christmasses as a kid

This. The poor cow.

Actually joking aside I'd be seriously worried if I had a friend who said this. It's so patently rubbish that I would really wonder if they were covering up PND.

EquinoxBloom · 29/05/2016 20:45

Today DD (3.5) and I had a teddy bears picnic, a bike ride, went in a paddle boat and made a cake.

Before bed I asked what was her best bit of the day...

"playing iPad"

Ungrateful wretch.

IrishSea456 · 29/05/2016 20:48

I have a fair few days like this too.

But I think what I find hardest is a. Being so fucking sleep deprived (had 2 bad sleepers one after the other and haven't had an undisturbed night in over 4 years; most nights I am woken hourly Angry) and b. Not having regular time "off". I love my DC more than anything and there are lovely moments every day but I am too tired and it is too relentless for me to properly appreciate it.

Crumblevision · 29/05/2016 20:48

Erm, OP don't wish to alarm you but if you feel "vommy" and are due on - maybe you should POAS 😉

VoldysGoneMouldy · 29/05/2016 20:53

Oh frequently. My son is the reason I get up in the morning... And the reason I need coffee. And gin.

megletthesecond · 29/05/2016 20:56

Quite often. More so now the children are school age and sleep still isn't great, one's an owl the other is a lark. I think years of stress and lack of sleep just snowball into dark days and feeling bad about everything.

imwithspud · 29/05/2016 21:08

I have them quite frequently, at least once a week on average.

Going from 1 to 2 dc has been really challenging. On top off dd1 entering the terrible threes (2 was a walk in the park) and really pushing my buttons at times. I just get worn down and like pp said every now and then it snowballs.

It's normal for the majority of parents. It's unrealistic to expect it to be easy and perfect all the time.

BretonTop · 29/05/2016 21:19

I often think I'm not cut out for this motherhood lark too. Bit bloody late now I have two kids.

Definitely have frequent dark days. Hormones don't help. Sometimes I just want to quit, I'm bored of the drudgery and sameness (am a SAHM kids are 2 and 5). But then I remember that nothing is forever and tomorrow is another day same fucking shit but another one.

Enjoy your chocolate and hope you get a good nights sleep Flowers

BillBrysonsBeard · 29/05/2016 21:38

You are definitely a normal human being! The weirdos are the ones who are always unicorns and rainbows Grin I had a cry the other day when toddler DS woke up from a night terror hitting and kicking me... I ate ALOT of chocolate that dayGrin. We all have hard days and most of us have a vice to cope with it.

SlipperyJack · 29/05/2016 21:44

I have DC aged 6 and almost 4. I am also entering early menopause. Some days I just trot upstairs, scream into a pillow, trot downstairs again. A really dark day is where I also have a quick swig out of the bottle of ouzo which lurks in the kitchen cupboard.Blush

Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 21:55

crumble that would involve having had dtd Grin my lack of sex life is laughable. Well, once a month or so at best. Usually half cut. With condoms so hopefully any mishaps would be spotted asap!

OP posts:
Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 21:57

I had a whinge on WhatsApp to some friends and because my dh are always so charming and delightful when out and about I think they think I'm on glue.

Seriously. My kids are fucking lush but all day every day???? Facepalms pillow.

I went to tesco earlier for a few bits. It was a 30 min round trip including the actual shopping and I managed to stretch it to 1hr 15 mins with a lot of faffing and MN ING in the car

OP posts:
VagueIdeas · 29/05/2016 22:02

A really dark day is where I also have a quick swig out of the bottle of ouzo which lurks in the kitchen cupboard

I do that quite often. At least once a week.

It's ok though, I could never have a drink problem because I dislike feeling drunk Grin

I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mother as well. I get SO BORED of the mundane shit my four year old babbles at me over and over and over, I can scarcely hide my irritation with her.

And now my 12 month old has discovered tantrums and I just dread waking up every morning at the moment. The endless Exorcist style screaming over everything (food, drink, being put down). And both of my kids seem to never get tired of tantrumming. People assume they'll run out of stream, but nope.

I have no time off and I'm just fucking done with it all. But the screaming is the worst thing of all. I really envy parents who have patience and understanding and can shrug off hideous behaviour with "oh they're having a developmental leap, poor thing". I just want to go on holiday on my own.

imwithspud · 29/05/2016 22:10

Yes to not feeling cut out for parenthood. Bit late for me too since I have two of them now. I was always desperate for children pre-dc, I was always complimented on how great I was with other people's kids, always envisioned myself with a brood of 3 or 4 having my own is a completely different kettle of fish.

I have my first break from both of them in over a year coming up next weekend. I plan on doing nothing but sleeping and eating.

Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 22:11

"I just want to go on holiday on my own" - word.

A long plane ride. TV in the seat back. Dinner on a little tray. No kids. Doesn't even matter on the destination as long as it had a king sized bed with fresh sheets and a club sandwich on the room service menu. Three nights. Then a long flight home.

OP posts:
Oliviaerinpope · 29/05/2016 22:12

I never have a dark day, genuinely! I am eternally thankful for what I have and I enjoy every single moment with my DC.

Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 22:12

Maybe I need to become cabin crew.

Or a pilot so I can earn enough for shit hot nannying to ease the guilt.

OP posts:
Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 22:12

《Ties Olivia's shoelaces togethe》

OP posts: