To think everyone must have the odd Dark Day as a parent?

[NapQueen]

It can't all be roses in the garden every day can it?

I've had one of those days today. Compounded by the fact that DS had me up from 5am; I'm due on; dd 4 has been rather trying.

I even had a little cry in the bathroom earlier. Dh is amazing. Hands on, total equal parent. I imagine if he wasn't I'd have many more of these days.

I just feel so miserable and tense today. And a bit vommy. I need my bed I think but similarly I need the time after bedtime to relax alone in the bath.

Everyone has days like this surely? Or am I just not really cut out for motherhood?

somehow frequently out does me in every debate.

^^yes! My 3yo does this! I'm an intelligent woman and I can't even win an argument about when DD's birthday is

Wait....you're telling me that they aren't all dark days, there are light days too??

I have dark days. I've learned to go to bed and endeavour to do better the next day. I've stopped mercilessly beating myself up and aim to put every crap moment of parenting behind me quickly. Children forgive and move on and expect/need you to do the same.

Why would you come on this thread and claim to love every minute of parenting? It's nonsense. I lost 3pregnancies before carrying my adored DS to term. The need for things to be perfect and happy and full of joy and unicorns all the time drove me to PND and significant anxiety issues. There is nothing in the universe as dear to me as my children but being a parent can be lonely, mind numbing, stressful, challenging, isolating and overwhelming. Sleep deprivation can push you to the edge of your mind, shattering your mental health completely after a good few months with no support - loving every minute?? No.

Loving the honesty on the thread.

Such a good thread - brings back memories.
That period of my life is just a blur - broken sleep for years turns you into a zombie. And your own needs wiped out by these demanding creatures, however loved and wanted they are.

I had one of those days yesterday. I actually cried when I cleaned the kitchen floor for the 4th time! Luckily today has been lovely and DD has reminded me how funny and cute she is.

I'm having one of these days now! Toddler eventually passed out on the sofa after a full on day and baby asleep on my lap. Have been over shouty today with toddler as really playing me up and I feel awful. So I'm having a little cry. God I'm tired, really want a hot bath instead of a ten min bloody shower every now and then, plus wish I had five minutes to myself to do some exercise/comb hair etc. Wow being a mummy is tough!!! When they say I love you though, it melts my heart and I don't care that the toddler has just weed in my boots lol.

For parents with older children... When do you get proper 'me' time back?? I'm not being selfish and not wishing the time away but just wondered what age roughly you get more time? I can't wait for the day I can go running again or out for a dinner with my hubby.

I go running - I get a babysitter for the toddler.

Can't your DH give you some me time and watch the kids?

I have dark days. And also appreciate the honesty here.

I have a 4 month old and a 2.5 year old. The toddler is overly interested in the baby and I cannot leave them together, obviously. This means I have to tote the baby around at all times. He's very chilled but gets carried around even more than she did.

That, and the sheer lack of time to do anything for yourself beyond minimal basics (and sometimes not even them) are challenging. Oh and also just toddler behaviour.

I felt I had my live back when my daughter started to eat solids. I breastfed her and it meant her Dad could finally feed her.

Another big issue for me is the career death. I feel I'm paused, people being promoted over me (I'm part time when not on maternity) whilst my husband has literally just got his dream job. I sound horrible but I'm finding it hard to be pleased for him or sympathetic if he has a rough day (it's a full on job). I just want to scream 'oh how fucking difficult, talking to other adult humans and having whole weekends away doing what you love, drinking in the evenings and sleeping all night!'

Had one today. DS has a cold, so I only had 3 or so hours sleep last night, the rest of the time I was either bf-ing or trying soothe him (he's 5 months old). Then today I haven't been able to get any extra sleep so now I'm exhausted. DH is just starting his bath and I have to go up and help, and the thought is making me want to cry. Then I have to do yet another bf, then the whole saga begins again.

I love him so much but I'm just so tired.

Half term has broken me. I'm exhausted and my body actually hurts. I'm just about holding it together but the ice cream man didn't come tonight and I had promised everyone an ice cream on Friday and the kids don't even care but I wanted a bunny cone!!!!! Dh is back from his work trip tonight so I will be glad of some help and company.

Your not alone op
When it all gets to much I pretend to hang the washing out take myself off to the bottom of the garden and have a little cry

juan, I hear you re half term. I've had a day where DD was determined to trip over or fall off something at every opportunity, with accompanying wails/snot/grazes. I have a knackered back and bending over a lot is very painful/difficult. DS was barely drawing breath he was talking so much, and I actually found myself muttering "piss off" every time I heard "mer-meeeee". The final straw was finding that one of our cats had chucked up over my running shoes.

"I went to tesco earlier for a few bits. It was a 30 min round trip including the actual shopping and I managed to stretch it to 1hr 15 mins with a lot of faffing and MN ING in the car"

Are you me?

Today I stopped for lunch at a Little Chef in the middle of a long drive with my toddler. I tried to stop him from banging his fork (loudly) against his chair. This resulted in a screaming fit so bad that I had to abandon my lunch and leave. I felt like a complete failure.

2 kids, one 2 and screeeeeeeeeeeeches whenever they cant get their own way, and a 6 year old who delights in pissing off the 2 year until the screaming starts. Or goading them into doing stuff that would earn a spell on the bottom step because its oh so funny. Like this morning fighting over a toy. That I threatened to chop in half if they couldnt stop fighting over who got it.

Ive counted down every minute until bedtime before and changed the time on the fucking groclock so the canny 6 year old doesnt get that they are going to be earlier than they are

Roll on September when the 2 year old who will be 3 by then is going to school. Then I might actually get a chance of having a conversation that isnt 99% bollocks

Yes, I do love my kids but ye gods they push it just that little bit too far sometimes.

Oh yes,DD8 is autistic and has had autistic meltdowns for the last 3 days despite being of school and us doing everything she wants to do.DD13 was lovely on Wednesday on her birthday before and since she's been a nightmare also despite having so much more than she asked for for her birthday and doing everything she wanted to do for her birthday and DS14 and DS17 have been the same.
We've spent time with them took them out treated them everything.

The only one who's behaved is DS20,he's been mostly at work but he's been shocked(and pissed of with the other's because of how they've been treating me and they're Dad)at how awful the other 4 have been.

I usually love when they're off school,this week I can't wait for them to go back to school.

Re older kids/me time erm never!

But seriously...probably around 14 but then it's not so much me time as feeling abandoned! 14 years of constantly being on duty then pretty much overnight you're invisible unless they need money/food

I know independence is the aim but it seems to happen quite suddenly. Except for exam time, then it's like dealing with a ( 5'7") toddler again ' I can't dooooooooo this why can't I dooooooooo this ?' she can. It's just nerves.

I love peoples honestly on this thread. Makes you feel like you're not the only one go through this tough stage.
When people say why can't you get a baby sitter or get hubby to watch kids so you can have me time.. That's great in an ideal world. If you have no family who can help, have a young baby you are ebf and a toddler that is high maintenance, can't afford baby sitters and have a hubby that works every hour to support his family then no you can't. It's tough, but without being selfish I look forward to the day when I do get me time back.. Just a little bit.

*honesty

And even if the dh is hands on and helps loads (mine, he is a fucking saint), it still doesn't magically solve everything. I work odd shifts so getting a set time off is difficult and quite honestly the tiredness is overwhelming so once the bath and bedtime is done and the dinner is eaten I'm good for nowt.

I've a pile of dd's preschool uniforms to iron ready for going back and I shall be grinning from ear to ear as (1) it means she's going back and (2) peaceful ironing time while dh deals with the kids.

Oh and the ovens broken. We had McDonald's last night and the night before found a cheap Italians that does three course for £4 before 5pm but really I need to stop procrastinating.

End of half term. It's been ten days off and I feel like I haven't seen another adult.

Single parent. I actively prefer work to spending time with the kids and I don't even feel bad about it...

Definitely. I've got an 8 year old and 11 month old.

I love them but some days I just don't want to be a parent for a day. I want to hide in bed with mumsnet and chocolate. Dh is working away and the baby has had two jars of baby food for lunch and tea, and I've ordered pizza for me and the 8 year old.

I'm a crap parent today. Tomorrows a new day.

For parents with older children... When do you get proper 'me' time back?? I'm not being selfish and not wishing the time away but just wondered what age roughly you get more time? I can't wait for the day I can go running again or out for a dinner with my hubby.

I found everything got a lot easier around age 3, by the time they're 4 or 5 you definitely get some of your life back. We even started getting lie ins as ds would go and watch TV quietly, anyone's willing to look after them at that age, you can leave the house without loads of stuff.

Then I went and started again

Mine are all school age, one about to go to secondary.

I say 'For fuck's sake' under my breath quite a lot.

Love them a lot, of course, there are plenty of good times in amongst the mundane crap that fills my day and they are genuinely good company.

For me it's the questions too. And then answering them, then repeating the answer because one of them didn't hear. Then it turns out they didn't hear the question, so you repeat that. Then say the answer again. Then the third one comes in and wants to know what you're talking about and the original question is usually something about as interesting as 'What's in that bag'. So you have to answer again, 'Er, just some rubbish'.

And yet that whole process has taken minutes and driven me a bit closer to brain-dead. And no-one really cares because all that's in the bag is some bloody rubbish that I'm about to put in the wheelie bin.

MrsLeigh proper lolz

Have you thought about writing a column for The Spectator?