To think everyone must have the odd Dark Day as a parent?

[NapQueen]

It can't all be roses in the garden every day can it?

I've had one of those days today. Compounded by the fact that DS had me up from 5am; I'm due on; dd 4 has been rather trying.

I even had a little cry in the bathroom earlier. Dh is amazing. Hands on, total equal parent. I imagine if he wasn't I'd have many more of these days.

I just feel so miserable and tense today. And a bit vommy. I need my bed I think but similarly I need the time after bedtime to relax alone in the bath.

Everyone has days like this surely? Or am I just not really cut out for motherhood?

I am thankful every day for what I have and how lucky I am compared to others.

That doesn't mean I don't find it fucking hard some days.

Sorry, but I'm being really honest. I've had fertility issues so it's a constant reminder to be grateful.

Olivia how old are your dc's? Genuinely curious

Oh I am grateful for my kids. I just sometimes find them hard work too. How old are they?

She's four She's always been really good natured and easy even as a newborn. I've enjoyed every stage so far and I'm devastated that she's starting school this year. I'd have loads more if I could

My two (DTs nearly 4) do plenty of misbehaving but even the days they are good are relentless 'How old are you Mummy?' '37' 'When will you be 40?' 'In three years time' 'When will you be 36?' 'I've already been 36' 'How old are you Mummy?' '37' 'When will you be 44?' 'In seven years time' 'When will you be 94?' 'In 57 years time' 'When will you be 100?' 'In 63 years time' 'How old are you Mummy?'

The questioning starts at 6.30am and goes on until 7pm. Seriously, the main reason my two fall out is because they get upset about who's turn it is to ask the next question...'

This is why I drink beer at teatime .

Today. Today was a dark day. DS is going through a delightful "you're not the boss" phase incited by a friend of PILs who likes to witter "it's not spoiling, it's love" and has told my child he doesn't need to do what I say (because she tries to buy his affection and he said 'mummy says I can't eat a full family sized bar of chocolate'). Today he was either being straight up defiant or talking constantly, without pausing for breath, about cars.

It only took 3 repetitions of 'X says you're not in charge' before I cracked. Many cars ended up in toy jail. I was shouty and he thinks I was unfair. His sister is weaning and used my distraction to mush sweet potato mash into her hair and her eyelashes. Everyone was pissed off and a bit sad by bath time.
I don't drink, so I have eaten a family sized bar of galaxy like a bloody hypocrite DH is in the bath listening to soothing music. Both weans are asleep. Tomorrow is a new day and I shall start again and hope for better. It's a small hope, but it's all I have...well, that and my current revenge fantasy involving PIL's friend and I having a little chat after which I repeatedly smack her fucking face and push her into a hedge

You are definitely not alone OP.

Yes every day is magical. I am truly thankful for my DS. He is the best bit of my life.

When you have a baby that doesn't sleep well, refuses to be put down, then morphs into a toddler that tantrums like a good 'un

Then sometimes you'd like five minutes to drink some wine and read a bloody book.

And of course, of course I am eternally grateful every day for both my children. I wish I could be better, be less tired, less busy, less stressed. A lottery win, boatloads of domestic help and my only role being entertaining my kids might help, but honestly I think a saint would find 4 hours of repetitive questioning about cars and transformers a teensy bit trying. I am not a saint, I'm just a person trying hard.

Op you are so not alone

I'm afraid I agree with pps....anyone who says they have never had a dark day as a parent is lying , delusional or has billions of pounds a cook , cleaner , maid , gardener and nanny

I find the dark days easier with ds2 only because I learnt with ds1 they were temporary and a good moment was around the corner....doesn't make the dark moments much better but I get through them better lol

Err actually I just get through them

I started running after ds2 was born ....as an offshoot I've lost loads of weight ...as couple of friends without kids have waxed lyrical about how good i am to go running in the evening when dh comes home

..... my friend with kids the same age wet herself laughing and said "have to get out of the house before you decapitate the fireman Sam toy ds1 got for Xmas don't you?" ....spot on....it's the only time someone is not touching me , asking me to make three kinds of lunch (no idea why he gets the lunch he's given) or a teething baby

I adore my kids , they are the best thing ever to happen to me , I have friends with serious infertility issues and I'm well aware of the pain ....I have pcos and my kids were a miracle

But at 5.30 pm after being up since 4am and four tantrums , two naughty steps , traumatised cats , raisins that exploded over the floor and a baby that has refused to be put down since breakfast.....I'd be a sociopath if I didn't secretly desire to be a trophy wife whose only responsibility was an over indulged pooch

The one or both smile at me and I'd kill anyone who made them cry

Then one throws up as the other poos and I'm wondering if I'm too fat to be a trophy wife (the answer is yes)

I personally feel that's the definition of motherhood

I'm not a good mother because everything is perfect I'm a Damn good mother because everything is not perfect but we keep going regardless and accept the good times may be rare on occasion but by God they are worth it

I'm with you OP.

On good days, even when the DC are being a pain I can do the Mary Poppins shit "Let's see who can get their toothbrush first! Oo, I think this sock is going to catch your foot..! Come on, let's sit on the ceiling for snack time!" etc.

On dark days, I want to shout "Will you JUST FUCKING GET and I find myself mouthing "for fuck's sake" above their heads at the end of every sentence.

Then DD says "Mummy, you're not being very kind to me", usually at just the moment when I am congratulating myself on not letting my frustration show. And I am completely flummoxed as to how to explain that wanting to wipe her bottom is not actually unkind and in fact it is kind, and gross, and I look forward to when she can do it herself and I don't do it for my own entertainment and look will you just bloody BEND OVER??

Sigh.

The first day I got a night off in 3 years...the babysitter announced that DS had broken his fucking leg. [guilt] [guilt] [guilt]

I'd love to say every day i've been as pleased as punch as i became a mum but in reality sleep deprivation made me a grumpy bitch and even now those days are long gone and life has got easier and more carefree I still find with a different ages comes different challenges. I remember years ago round the school playground me saying to one of the mums "theres certain things people never tell you before you become a parent." with a little smirk she said "oh its as easy or hard as you make it." We never really hit it off. .

Friday was my bad day.
I confess I told them both to bloody stop bickering and grow fecking up. They are 23 and 18.
I left them to it and came upstairs for an hour to read my book.

I'd kind of hoped that this would have stopped by now but eldest loves teasing his sister which usually is just banter unless she's tired, in which case it's no longer funny.
At least now it's legal to bugger off and leave them to it though 😁

I actually fully shouted at my one month old son 'SHUT UP YOU TWAT' once..... im not joking and i was horrified at myself. I hadnt slept in some time. :-(

Canyouforgiveher This made me genuinely LOL: "or maybe she just had shite christmasses as a kid." :)

I'm sure the neighbours have seen me flicking Vs at the kids before now. It's their omnipresence that's sometimes so trying

We definitely all have dark days. Dh has been away this weekend and the dcs have been very good really but it's very tiring doing it on my own. I've got a really heavy period. Friday bedtime didn't go well and ds2 slept in my bed all night. Saturday bedtime night went well but ds2 made an appearance at midnight and woke up furious at 5:30.

I expect I will have a dark day at some point during half term. Ds1 has suspected autism and Adhd and is extremely challenging. We will be out of routine so I expect some difficult days are coming our way.

I enjoy having them off school and doing our own thing but the constant questions and demands really grind me down sometimes. Dd is mostly easy but she has perfected her talent of winding her brothers up!

houseveryweekend I love it!

I love this thread, it reminds me we are all in the same boat and do our best no matter how hard and trying it gets.

for every single one of us

If I ever have a moan on, my childless sister, who is otherwise wonderful, trots out "Well you chose to have kids".

Raaaahhhh like I had any fucking clue what it was like beforehand??

I hear you. We're away at the moment. Nowhere special but a nice week away by the sea. My two (4 and 8) are squabbling, fighting, complaining, shrieking, crying, whinging and generally making the days a misery. I've taken to my bed. To hell with both of them.

Today I feel like it'd be quite nice to have a slipped disc or something. Then I could take to my bed and I wouldn't have to deal with the children.

That, or hospitalisation. That would feel like a fucking spa day compared with my son's endless screaming tantrums. He's just turned one FFS

vague, I think a broken leg would be better. It wouldn't hurt so much!

I sometimes fantasise about needing a hospital admission for a few days: nothing mega serious, painful or life threatening, just something that requires a side room with Netflix. Basically a guilt-free mini break with an adjustable bed and doctors orders to rest and do bugger all.