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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

does it bother you that men use this site also?

478 replies

SomethingLike · 28/05/2016 19:20

Sometimes very female skewed things are discussed and I can't help feeling slightly uncomfortable when I read: "Male perspective here..."

I'm sure I am BU but does anyone else feel the same? I am struggling to put into words why it bothers me but it does.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 29/05/2016 00:49

What are female skewed things?Confused

EBearhug · 29/05/2016 01:11

Mostly doesn't bother me, unless they're being a git in FWR, but some women can do that, too.

Elsewhere on t'internet, I have been assumed to be a man posting on more than one occasion. Not sure why, though I don't think I've ever started a post with, "I'm a woman, and..." Anyway, it means I try to avoid assuming, though I do assume most people here are women, unless they specifically say so.

FeckinCrutches · 29/05/2016 01:11

Cis woman here

FeckinCrutches · 29/05/2016 01:11

So just a woman then?

HelenaDove · 29/05/2016 01:18

Have no problem with it.

I dont like the MRAs the pro forced birthers DV apologists rape apologists or body shamers or misogynists

i think that about covers it and im well aware some men and some women think like this.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 29/05/2016 01:30

I wonder what the attraction is for male posters - just parenting issues or something else?

It isn't that it is parenting thread that attracts me.AIBU/Chat is a nice place to hang out and talk about a broad range of stuff.

I am at home on my own a lot during the day and miss chit-chat and social contact you get in a workplace. Mumsnet boards esp. AIBU & Chat come closest to replicating everyday social exchanges. Other sites will be geared around a certain topic 'sport' or a specific hobby whereas if you open chat or aibu literally anything could pop up.

Alasalas2 · 29/05/2016 01:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenaDove · 29/05/2016 02:15

It depends what the issue is. I comment on school bullying threads for instance even though i dont have DC because i experienced a lot of bullying myself at school but i wouldnt comment on a breast feeding thread because i obviously dont have the first idea.

Baconyum · 29/05/2016 02:27

I think more men should READ the posts on this site - it might make them think about the issues women face at home, work, the decisions they have to make, the compromises they have to face, worries, expectations. I also think politicians should READ the posts so they can see the issues that their austerity decisions make on people and especially how they affect women.

Love this paragraph

I don't care who posts but I do get irritated by certain types of comments as I'm sure we all do (not the same comments always but sometimes Wink).

I also don't think there's a problem with non parents posting, but they should expect to get their arse handed to them a robust response if they're talking rubbish!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 29/05/2016 02:31

I really don't see what the problem is.

DadDadDad for example posts wonderful stuff on the Archers thread.

Generally no, but I wish they'd leave the feminism topic alone

Don't agree. Dervel posts interesting stuff and there are 2 or 3 other male posters who I think also have interesting view points.

It makes me uncomfortable that this site is not women-only, as some women post pictures of their children and I hate the thought that pedophiles have access to that

Sorry, but that is just daft.

FullTimeYummy · 29/05/2016 06:18

It's funny this thread has popped up now, I have just been lurking on man-net.com/homeimprovements reading a thread titled "does it bother you that women use this site"

The general consensus was that members would tolerate the occasional female post, as long as the women agreed with the men, weren't feminists and didn't start being all neurotic and hormonal and assuming that starting to cry first meant they had won the argument.

There was also a strong suspicion that women had no need to know anything about power tools, so they were presumably only there to hit on men, the dirty mares.

WellErrr · 29/05/2016 06:40

And YES, I do think it would be extremely sexist and wrong to ban men. In fact, I think it's sexist to even say let's ban men.

No ones suggested that.

lightingseeds · 29/05/2016 06:44

What aggravates me is when a post from a man is regarded (by a woman or by the man himself) as 'the male perspective'. No it's not, it's the view of one particular male individual.

QuiteIrregular · 29/05/2016 08:37

Agree that the "hey ladies!" and "from a man's point of view..." posts ae increibly annoying. (Also the latter tend to infuriate me, as they generally involve the poster deciding that their personal, usually sexist and often faintly creepy, view represents All Of Men.) I've certainly learnt a lot from Mumsnet, so it'd be hypocritical of me to want men not to be on the site, but I do think there is a higher percentage of tedious hundred-post derails per man, given the smaller percentage of men on the site.

Egosumquisum · 29/05/2016 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 29/05/2016 09:10

I automatically disregard what anyone has to say if they use the word mansplaining. If they are still using such archaic sexist terminology in 2016, it's very unlikely they will add anything useful in their post.

me too!

I wonder what the attraction is for male posters

I wonder if it's because we are a bunch of mostly intelligent, witty, insightful people which means there's something for everyone...? Just a thought.

pigsDOfly · 29/05/2016 10:47

So Baconyum it's only non parents who should be handed their arses on a plate if they're talking rushing is it?

So having children give posters the freedom to talk rubbish with impunity without being pulled up on it does it? How strange.

pigsDOfly · 29/05/2016 10:48

Rubbish not rushing

Katedotness1963 · 29/05/2016 11:07

Doesn't bother me in the slightest if men join the site.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 11:09

I've read some very good and practical advice on the subject of children, from non parents.

Sometimes as parents we can only see things from the angle of our own experience, whereas some non parents can be a bit less 'blinkered' if that makes sense.

Trills · 29/05/2016 11:11

I think you would have to be very naive indeed to think that the only people who would want to post here would be "mums".

Are you quite new to the internet?

mumto1babyboy · 29/05/2016 11:13

Some men are widowed and left with young children or babies and use this site for much needed advice etc. Any sex could be a potential threat X

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 29/05/2016 11:19

Dylan, if you're still watching, I agree that MN has lots more on it than I expected, but how did you discover that in the first place? What made you think that 'mums' net would be the place for you, a man? It wouldn't occur to me to look on a lesbian/gay website as I'm neither lesbian nor gay. There may well be lots of non LGTB information and discussion on there but the name would makes me think it's not aimed at me.

SoupDragon · 29/05/2016 11:27

I agree that MN has lots more on it than I expected, but how did you discover that in the first place?

It's all over the press!!

Trills · 29/05/2016 11:29

It also comes up often in search results.

Maybe someone was just googling to try to work out if a colour catcher would work after you'd washed new jeans with light tops, and then got distracted by a mention of Olivia Coleman in "Most Active" at the top right, and then noticed some speculation about the next James Bond... And then they were hooked.