To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

[Writerwannabe83]

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

I have a ds called Oliver and is mostly shortened to Ollie, my choice of spelling, his own dad called him Olly ( we split up when he was a toddler ) and it drove me mad, he has since always used Ollie.
He's now 13 and has never had to correct anyone but he's so laid back he probably wouldn't bother

Thanks nuttymango and OneMagnum I really like Flora in particular. We actually call our little one Berry as a pet name, though not sure he'll appreciate that growing up. I've just started a separate thread, so as not to take over OP's convo

OP, if the front cover of his journal has the incorrect spelling, is it not more than possible that the nursery are using that as a reference?

Not that it excuses the initial mistake, but just to point out that it is probably one of the things they have to hand and might copy from. So it might be a single error rather than them being repeatedly careless.

There may not be much difference between an a sound and a u sound but it does negate the argument that they are two separate names, as they no longer are if you use the same pronouncing and you also can't use the analogy that the name is the same as the Island as it isn't.

I don't know how that island is pronounced but I say my son's name as "arun"

I'm Scottish and the name of the island is pronounced differently depending on your accent. If I am making an effort I'd pronounce it Arr an, though if I'm not it probably comes out closer to Arr in. I'm sure that in some accents it will equally be Arr un or Arr en. Vowel sounds can be very ambiguous especially in some Scottish accents. I have real difficulties spelling out the difference between a and e when I am on the phone and always have to clarify a for apple or e for echo.

I get how annoying it is, DS2 has an unusual spelling of a name that's unusual anyway. It drove his mother MAD when people would misspell it. Ironically enough he goes by a shortened form of his name anyway so all the fuss was rather for nothing.

I'm a Katherine - but with an unusual spelling and I have spent my entire life spelling it out to people. I loved being different when I was younger (and I still do think the spelling of my name is pretty) - but to be honest if I could rewind I probably would have just gone for Katherine/Catherine right from the start! I no longer bother correcting the spelling of my name except on official documents - so there really is no point to being different.

OP if people assume it is spelled Aaron and are pronouncing it how you want them to, then I think I'd go ahead and change it - it will save him a life time of issues!

ahhh like Arun Nayar - the guy who used to be married to liz hurley!

2 of my brothers changed their names when they were 3 and 5. we moved from very multicultural part of london to norfolk and they had fairly unusual/non-British names. my brothers chose the names in conjunction with my parents and it was fine. i know quite a few people who have changed their names as adults and it takes a few months for people to get used to it but they do.

don't worry about people thinking you're weird. it's none of their business and you're the one who's having to live with a name you hate.

so i say, change it. are you just changing the spelling or going for a different name? if it's the former, i wouldn't even think twice about it - just do it.

elfycat what is your DC's name if you don't mind my asking?

ALL my partner's family spell our oldest's name wrong. Every time. It's annoying but I find it quite funny. My MIL got annoyed with me when she saw his name on something official as I'd been "letting her" spell his name wrong all this time. Cards still come through with their own spelling. We went for the typical spelling because it's an unusual name but since then I have come to like 'normal' spellings.
As your son grows he will get used to saying (something along the lines of) 'Stewart with a W,' 'Kellie with an -ie,' 'Dillon with an I double-L O' etc.
That will either become normal and bring a sense of pride at his difference or become really annoying. If you think it will be that bad, go ahead and change it, but remember on every properly official name he'll have to disclose previous names and provide evidence (eg passport applications) which will also be annoying but hardly a daily Occurrence. i know he's only a toddler now but you know him best. Hard to predict what they'll be like when they're older but combine your prediction with how likely he is to get annoyed at the same things you do and make that call.

Another of my DKs has the typical spelling of his name and whenever I'm asked I do enjoy saying 'the proper way' as I tell them.

Incidentally, I would by default pronounce Arun as A-roon and assume it was a Muslim name.
That will also get annoying when he he's older and people meet him after reading the name they will probably pronounce it that way first.
Spell it the proper way. I've alway known Aarons to be pronounced the short vowel way.

His name isn't written as arun, it is Arran, I just pronounce it a-run (but with a gentle a).

I have a name that can have three recognised spellings and although mine is the typical spelling I always get asked which way I'm spelling it.

I think with my son's name it isn't recognised as having various spellings so it's just assumed his name is spelt Aaron

Still confused tbh.
What to you mean by a "gentle" a? as in apple?
Or as in bar?
If you spell his name "Arran" then I would pronounce it with the "A" like in "apple" and the "ran" as in " the second half of "open"

moofolk His name is spelt the proper way.

It just happens to be pronounced similarly to the name Aaron - which isn't his name.

You'd think with the plethora of Islas and Lewis' and Harris' etc in England now (on top of all the other Scottish names that are perfectly acceptable to be used south of the border) that people would have a vague idea of Scottish islands by now.

feeling - yes, like the 'a' sound in "apple".

The ran part of his name is pronounced "run"

Oh, sorry, if I heard "A Run" (rhyming with the "a" in cat or apple, followed by the vowel sound in fun or bun, I would not spell it Arran
Arran, for me, would be pronounced as A for apple followed by the vowel sound at the end of "golden" or possibly "pardon" iyswim.
"A Run" would have me stumped as how to spell it without the "u"

But I pronounce "grass" to rhyme with with "arse". Does that make a difference?

If it's run to rhyme with pun, bun, tongue, fun etc, I am actually having trouble saying it.

Arran rhymes with barren

Or is it like "look"?

Oh thank God.
No, don't change the spelling.

Have several t shirts printed with his name on.

Have several t shirts printed with his name on.

They might just think he's been to Scotland for his holidays :o