To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

[Writerwannabe83]

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

Absolutely do not let it go. This is your child's name ffs!!!

Every time it is misspelled by the nursery, ask them to correct it. It'll take a few days and they'll learn.
If the certificate is misspelled, return it and ask them to issue one with his name spelt correctly.
Don't compromise to appease the lowest common denominator.

I work with babies and young children. I am MORTIFIED if I mispronounce a name. I've never misspelt one but I actively encourage my families to "correct me until I learn." Because, for example I have Louis and Louis. One pronounces "lewis" one pronounced "loui"
When parents start using "nicnames" I have to learn again. This term I have 5 Raphaels. Two Raphaels, one Raff, one Raffi, one Rafe.

I have a very 70/80's name and there's two pronunciations of my name but spelt the same.
My mother would never compromise. I learnt at a young age to say "my name is xxxxx" I thank her for it and your son will thank you too. Stand firm.

Don't let it go. I have a name that has two common spellings (though growing up it was considered a little 'foreign' so the spelling was always different to both correct forms at primary school) and my married name also has many variations. I don't find it a bother to spell. I also don't mind when people get it wrong. My children both have names with two spelling variations. The eldest has the less common version. I preferred the way it looked and it has a different meaning in the baby books, which I liked more. The second has the more common spelling though we use his nickname. When he started nursery they spelt that wrong, but to be fair I hadn't written that down for them. They were extremely apologetic and changed it. I find normally if you correct them, or use the correct spelling in a text / email once, most people will realise and then remember. From being on both sides, I would say it grates more when it's a name you chose rather than one you've been given.

Don't let it go. My name's got ie at the end, rather than the more common y. I wish I had the balls to tell people it's spelt wrong!!

My daughter has a name that is quite obvious but not all that common but I didn't realise how much it sounds like a previously very very popular name although it is completely different, longer, with none of the same letters! and she is endlessly mistaken for this other name. It drives her mad as she has to over pronounce her name and keep correcting people. Her name also has some variant spellings but it didn't take long for people to stop spelling it incorrectly when she was in primary school.
I would never change her name though but I do appreciate why you are considering it!

'What's in a name?'

Is his name Niall (pronounced Neil)?

I know... is it Rumpelstilskin??! (OP howls with rage and puts her foot through the floor)

My dad and my mam both have names that are spelt and pronounced in an unusual way. They don't find ita pain to correct people all the time and said they got used to doing it. They did give me and my sister very common, Boring names that couldn't be easily misspelt tho but I 've always hated the fact that my name is so boring. So I wouldnt change ur sons name it's not a bad thing to be a bit different and will help him to stand out from the crowd a little x

Who wants to "stand out from the crowd" by having a name spelt in such a ridiculous way that nobody can pronounce it?
There are better ways to make your mark

Writerwannabe83 you need to make it crystal clear to the nursery the way you pronounce & spell your DS's name is only way you want it!
Do not just let it go!

4 of my 5 DSs (our other DS's name is short anyway) are all named and called by short & common versions of longer names however we still get people asking are they short for xxxxxxxx? No, they are not!!

Floggingmolly who says people do it to stand out??

My name is very unusual.. in my nearly 40 years I have only ever come across one other female with the same name.. new (and sometimes not new) people constantly say & spell it wrong, yet it's a very simple name & simple spelling!
I constantly get called a different boy's name or a completely different girl's name and whereas I used to just brush it off I definitely don't any more!! I always correct people now otherwise how will they know?!
It's my name, I LOVE it and I'm really happy that my dad parents chose it! There's no way he they chose it to be different, it was because it's a biblical name and they liked it!
I hate being called the wrong name!!

I've posted before on this topic but I just want to add OP how would you be with him having a nickname?

I think if you are this bothered about his name, that if his mates ever gave him a nickname it would drive you crazy. Two of my three brothers had nicknames by the time they were in high school. In fact I have my own nickname for one of them that I'm known to use from time to time, and everyone in the family called him by another nickname for years which is a very common nickname for the youngest kid in a family in a certain area of the UK.

So I'll say it again, I'd just keep correcting people on the spelling, if you go ahead and change it you will forever be changing things to suit others.

My DD has a name which has a common short form which has more than 4 ways of being spelt. Other than Americans who use the nice old fashioned way we choose, most people don't spell it the way we do. My DD is very forceful in getting people to correct it.
I'm sure your son will be like this.

My great grandmother had an unusual name and at times her own children got it wrong and used a similar but more common one (eg. On the electoral role ).

I've only heard it pronounced Air-on by Americans e.g. Elvis Aaron Presley.

I am also from the West Midlands and have never heard it pronounced like that. It's always Arr-un.

I have never heard it said as Air-ron either (I am in NI). To me that is too close to the girls name 'Erin'.

I have always thought it is pronounced Air-ron but I teach an Aaron who pronounces it Arrun so that's how I pronounce his name. It's not rocket science!

But tbh it wouldn't occur to me that Arran was also pronounced Arrun.

They are completely different names though: I would have had words with the nursery long before this over the fact that they didn't know my child's name. Not sure why you've let it go on for so long?

I'd never heard it pronounced Arrun till I was an adult - always Airon. I wasn't an American last time I looked.

So, OP, I think you need to stick to the spelling you have, which automatically gives you the pronunciation you like.

When I was at school the two Aarons were pronounced Aar-on, it's only in more recent years that I've only heard the Arun pronouciation.

Pull up nursery, every. Single. Time.
They'll change in a week, and they'll wonder why you haven't said something before.

To the posters saying she shouldn't have chosen an unusual spelling, huh?

Just to repeat.....Aaron and Arran are two different names. Admittedly there is a generational/geographical thing going on which affects the pronunciation of Aaron, but still. Two different names entirely.

OP, your son's name is Arran. Not Aaron. If people won't pronounce or spell it correctly, they need to be corrected. Every time. It isn't 'spelt in such a ridiculous way that nobody can pronounce it'. 'Arran' is perfectly easy to pronounce - the Isle of Arran would be in trouble if that were not the case.

You should not change your son's name to pander to people who don't have the basic courtesy to spell it properly. Surely he was registered as Arran - it's on their records - so why on earth are the staff persisting (and allowed to persist) in getting it wrong?

If anything, there needs to be more education for the staff rather than you going to the extreme of actually changing his name.

There's no excuse for them to be spelling his name wrong. Theyve seen his name on his forms and coat hanger, I very much assume. Go and have a polite word.
My name's Clare and I don't mind so much when people put the i in it, which is the most common way, but I hate it spelt Clair.

Thank you everyone for your great comments.

I was also surprised by the poster who made comments about giving him a ridiculous name that's impossible to pronounce?! Especially seeing as it isn't even the pronunciation that's the problem, it's the spelling of it.

I would have had words with the nursery long before this over the fact that they didn't know my child's name. Not sure why you've let it go on for so long?

He's only just started there, well he's had 4 sessions there. He was previously with a childminder and I initially had the same problem with her too

My son has an individual name, it's from his father's national history.

Without fail - despite me always stating his name with a y in it, my aunt (and now cousin) leave out the y.

Even tho ds has written thank you cards signing his name with the y, even though his name is no secret on Facebook etc..

Do I actually have to say it?

I was considering getting him one of those fabulous American baseball jackets with his name on it front and back... But it was very expensive and he's still growing. (Like his mum )

😂

I would say to people how his name is spelled and pronounced.

It's going to be a theme in your lives, but you chose his name for a reason and that is what it is.

So, according to Wiki and Youtube:

Aaron -
The elder brother of Moses in the Book of the Exodus, and in the Quran.  
A male given name.
A surname.
The given name was exclusively Jewish in the Middle Ages, taken up by Gentiles in the 17th century, and popular among both at the end of the 20th century.

Arran -
An island off the southwest coast of Scotland.
A male given name of modern Scottish usage, transferred from the place name.
A village in Saskatchewan, Canada.

"Yooneek" spellings make me cringe.

There is a family frequently in the media here whose children have names spelled Maisyn, Mackennze and Maddisyn. This does nothing but set the child up for a lifetime of rolled eyes and correcting spelling.

With that said, my DD and you don't have to point it out, I know I am about to post my DD's name is in the habit now of spelling her name when she is introduced to someone new.

Her name is Brigid, and while it is not pronounced "properly" (the traditional pronunciation) , it makes her cringe when it sounds as if someone is saying "Bridget".

In retrospect, something like Virginia or Elizabeth might have been a bit simpler.