To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

[Writerwannabe83]

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

On the other hand, my name is sobbingly common (popular when I was born, but maybe a bit "common", too).

There are 4 spellings for it (not counting the Youneek ones) so I am forever answering the "one L or two? I or Y?" questions.

In Y9, I was one of 14 with the same name, and more than half of us had the same middle name, too.

DH and DS have easily recognised and spelled but less common names - they are still correcting people.

In the big scheme of things, it isn't the end of the world.

Just seen the name, I didn't even know of that spelling, it's a lovely name! Definitely keep it as as it is!

I considered Aaron for a ds after my ds (didn't happen, mc)

But Halsal, the op isn't pronouncing it the same way as the Island, which may be a factor in why people aren't spelling it that way either.

The difference between Arrun and Arran is very subtle and can depend entirely on a person's accent.

What happens if you just say, "it's Arran, like the island"? Would certainly expect no problems with that! (But then I am in Scotland)

I used to teach two Aarons in the same class, one pronounced Air-ron and one pronounced Arran.

I knew the second I saw the title that this was Aaron/Arron/Arran! My DP is Arron and hates air-ron. This is not "yoonique" for anyone saying so, that would be something like Arghon lol

By the way I've spent my whole life answering "with an I or a Y?" for my name and it's not that annoying lol. Keep it as it is, it's the nicer version in my opinion All my DP gets now is "with two A's or two R's?"

I can't believe how common a problem this is with DS's name.

I am so, so, so glad that he doesn't get called Air-Ron so I think I'm just going to have accept that regardless of he his name is pronounced people are still going to write it as Aaron based on their own assumptions.

This thread has definitely made me see that this really isn't my issue and I'm absolutely, definitely not going to change his name to Aaron (but still pronounce it is a-run) and will instead just be more assertive and correct people!

Sorry it this is already suggested but I haven't RTWT but it's it possible to get him a name badge to wear, at least for a few weeks until the nursery staff get accustomed to seeing the correct name? And again at school for a few weeks when he Starts?

I doesn't deal with the irritation you must justifiably feel, but it might help.

I have an unusual name that very few people spell correctly and often mishear over the phone (so I get called another name entirely). To be honest, I am so used to it that unless it's important I don't correct people. Work know if anyone asks fir the other name, it's probably me they are referring to! My son also has a complicated surname that is often spelt incorrectly too. I understand that people will just make these mistakes; It's not malicious and there are more important things to be getting worried about.

If you want to laugh at misspelling names... my own BROTHER misspells my name more often than he spells it correctly.

I told him to call me Bob, as he had a better chance of spelling it in a birthday card

I can beat that, my parents misspell my name and have done my whole life. I only realised as a teen when I looked on my birth certificate. I still have documents with the incorrect spelling. It's not a problem but their way of spelling it is incorrect and meant people used to mispronounce it.

A similar example would be Tatana and Tatania

Any cards from my brothers and sister have always been addressed to 'Sis' 😂

Haven't been back to the thread but I see Soup has answered the point about pronouncing it 'ArrUN' vs 'ArrAN'. Absolutely agree that this is such a tiny difference as to be virtually undetectable, so I don't quite understand the point tbh.

Surely the stress is on the first syllable anyway, and therefore the final 'an' will almost invariably sound like 'un' most of the time?

OP if you did cave in and start spelling it Aaron, you can bet plenty of people would start pronouncing it Air-Ron and then you'd be REALLY fed up

OP if you did cave in and start spelling it Aaron, you can bet plenty of people would start pronouncing it Air-Ron and then you'd be REALLY fed up

Definitely!!!

His name being spelt wrong is definitely preferable over having an Air-ron

I live on a part of the U.K. that pronounces my name totally differently to the land of my birth. I have to continually pronounce my name 'their way' to be understood and ensure it is copied down correctly on forms etc. It's a liveable with pain in the scheme of things.......

I was thinking a bit more about pronunciation of names today. Not relevant to OP, as we've established that in fact her issue is with nursery staff calling her son a totally different name.

However it got me thinking. I have a relative named Mark and a colleague called Claire. Both are from the south of England, so they say their names "Maak" and "claih". I have a Scottish accent so I say "Marrk" and "clayrre". Is that acceptable, or should I really be trying to imitate their own pronounciations of their own names? Or is it like not saying "Paree" in an English sentence ie if there is a recognised form in your own dialect/ accent it's Ok to use it?

If I were to be introduced to someone with a name I had never heard before I'd try to imitate exactly how they said it I think, rather than look at the spelling and superimpose my own accent.

Weird when you think about it.

Exactly the problem.
Pronounce your name in your own accent in a different part of the U.K. and get a variety of results. Best indicator is when you go for coffee at the chain who ask your name to write on the cup - amazing the variety of 'versions' of your name that can be heard by the server when you read what they have written. (May-Ray, Merry, Mayree) No big deal in one way - but a significant problem when someone is filling out a form on your behalf, like an application for a store card. Endless repetition, spelling out etc. Sometimes therefore it's just easier on yourself to say your name 'their way'.
However - I'd never expect someone with a different accent to say my name the way I would say it - though oddly enough I pronounce their name the way they say it themselves.

I think accents can totally be forgiven for a name being pronounced differently than perhaps it should be.

All the nursery staff pronounce his name correctly they just can't bloody spell it correctly

Agreed - they need to be told the importance of keeping their records accurate - it's pathetic they don't realise it already and it's maybe a sign of a wider sloppy attitude to their duty of care.

I suppose they just automatically assume it's spelt the most known way.

He's in nursery on Wednesday so in definitely going to put a note in his home/nursery communication book: friendly but assertive

But Arran is the most known way for the name Arran.

On the other hand Aaron is the most known way to spell the name Aaron.

Just keep repeating, "his name is Arran not Aaron" and watch them go into melt down :)

Friendly but assertive is the way to go. "I've noticed that you've written Aaron on some of my son's things, please note that his name is Arran. Thank you Writerwannabe83

My dd''s name is Harriet- she always says her name followed by "that's with 2 r's and 1 t!"

fudgesmummy what kind of cretins has your daughter previously met who'd spell Harriet any other way?!

Did you mean to use an offensive disablist word, Jessie?