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AIBU?

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Original poster

To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

383 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 27/05/2016 10:00

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 27/05/2016 22:21

I know a dog called Diogi, which always makes me laugh :o

I'm in the States and have only ever heard of Aaron. I would pronounce is air- in.

JessieMcJessie · 27/05/2016 22:22

RTFT Lilacpink

ragdoll700 · 27/05/2016 22:33

I named my daughter Aimee even family write on cards Amy despite being told several times how to spell it my own name is Claire and I still have to tell people yes it has a I in it, its one of those things although kind of annoying when you are not named anything out there.

BotanicalPJs · 27/05/2016 22:57

I worry about how we've spelt my DD's name.

Her name is foreign (likeDh) and we've had to spell it phonetically using English letters but I always worry if we got it right.
I also worry that we'll be accused of giving her a younique name (which I hate).

Madhatter24 · 27/05/2016 23:50

Sorry but seriously there are so many more things to worry about than misspelling a name. People get through life with foreign and uncommon names and its second nature to them. Me being one of them. I always spells name our when I'm on the phone to someone or whenever necessary. Just relax and leave be.

DeltaSunrise · 28/05/2016 03:57

I knew as soon as I read the op that it was Aaron/Arran too. How? Because my ds is called Arran.

He's 5 1/2 now and only since he started school in Feb have people started spelling his name right.

We went through the same thing and I went through your thought process too about changing the spelling, I argued with myself over it for ages until it was too late. He had learnt to spell his name by then. He now just corrects people himself.

He once told someone who had spelled his name wrong for the 3rd or 4th time, "my nickname is rara, 2 A's, 2 R's, A R R A N* Blush

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 28/05/2016 06:39

I always spells name our when I'm on the phone to someone or whenever necessary. Just relax and leave be.

And I have no problem doing this but it's the fact that despite me telling them how to spell it, including having it written down for them to see, yet they still spell it wrong, all the time, is what annoys me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 28/05/2016 06:40

It's a shame isn't it delta because it's such a gorgeous name and seeing Aaron written all over his things is really frustrating.

OP posts:
heron98 · 28/05/2016 06:41

This week I had a training session at work. At the end, the trainer gave us his email address. He said his name was Marc with a "c".

I got the feeling that's something he has to say a lot! Not too much of a hindrance but annoying, I'm sure.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 28/05/2016 06:43

Like I said, I wouldn't mind telling people how it's spelt if they then got it right each time, but they don't and they still spell it incorrectly.

I'm definitely addressing with nursery on Tuesday.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 28/05/2016 06:51

I think this is always going to happen with a name that's spelt an unusual way.

I wouldn't change it. Just get used to being assertive and correcting people.

I have a fairly unusual name and it's very rare that I don't have to spell it for new people. And often they still get it wrong. Even friends of many years get it wrong . It doesn't bother me. I'd still always rather have an unusual name.

Xmasbaby11 · 28/05/2016 06:53

My friend's son is Aron/Arun. I just can't remember it. Every time I write her a message I have to scroll back and check how she spells it!

moomin11 · 28/05/2016 07:04

People always spell and pronounce my name wrong, just because it's unusual (the only others I've come across with the same name are related as it was passed down!). It can get frustrating having to constantly correct people if they keep getting it wrong but I love my name and wouldn't change it! When I had my DD we chose a name that couldn't really be mispronounced (as that annoyed me more than the spelling thing) but I still have to correct how it's been spelt sometimes. Lots of names have more than one spelling though so that's not unusual! I'd say keep the name as it is and keep correcting people on the spelling.

Mottled · 28/05/2016 07:06

Now I know the name I would say don't change it.

MewlingQuim · 28/05/2016 07:11

Arran is a lovely name, much nicer than Aaron, don't change it!

Make nursery get it right. Soon he will be learning to spell his name so they need to sort it out.

I have a name that can be spelt several ways, I just spell it out automatically whenever someone is writing it down because I know they will always pick the wrong version. Mostly it just makes me laugh when they get it wrong, I get far more annoyed at people who know me well putting Mrs rather than Dr Angry

Trufflethewuffle · 28/05/2016 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Isetan · 28/05/2016 07:46

I was about to post that OP needs to get a life and not be so hung about a name but.... I live in The Netherlands and my name (same spelling as the English way) is pronunced differently here but I never correct people because I can't be bothered. However, my colleagues were talking about another colleague with whom I share the same name (she's Dutch) but they pronounce her name the English way and until this thread I didn't make the connection that it was the pronunciation, that really made it feel like my colleagues were talking about me. Even though my name is by default pronounced differently in The Netherlands and has been for such a long time, my brain still identifies more with the English pronunciation and had they been talking about me, they would have used the Dutch pronunciation which my brain would have probably ignored.

DD has the opposite problem, everyone can pronounce her name properly but 9 times out of 10 they spell it incorrectly. It probably doesn't grate as much because on formal letters and documents in The Netherlands you are only referred to by your initials.

aaaaagh · 28/05/2016 07:49

I have common name with about 10 variant spellings. I always have to spell it. I don't mind. I'm named after the church that my Mum and Dad got married in. About 15 years ago, they changed the notice board outside the church and the spelling was different. That bothered me! I thought i was going mad and went and checked my birth certificate to see if I'd been spelling it wrong for 30 years. The thing that does annoy me is people shortening my name. I write an email, sign off with my name and 9 /10 they'll reply with the abbreviation. It's just lazy. I know my email address has the short version but that for convenience. The old head at my DS's school always used the short form of my name, even when I was calling her Mrs X. Don't change your child's name though. Who wants to be typical?

wheresthel1ght · 28/05/2016 07:59

I pronounce Aaron as A-run as opposed to air-Ron tbh I thought there was a different spelling to get it to air-Ron

Arran to me is a completely different name and I would assume it was pronounced arr-an ifyswim

I think you are being a little unreasonable sorry

Pearlman · 28/05/2016 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatFuckability · 28/05/2016 08:22

I have a very similar issue. My daughter has a welsh variant of a name which is spelt (and often depending on accent pronounced) differently to the English counterpart.
I pulled nursery up if they spelt it wrong, but it rarely happens at her welsh school.
On other occasions I just make a point of saying 'thats xxxx spelt xxxxx'.

As an aside Hanna/Hana are welsh spellings of Hannah. Not made up or silly.

EleanorAbernathy · 28/05/2016 08:27

I read the first part and was thinking it was Arran!

I know a young Arran, his mum was going to call him Aaron (pronounced the same way as Arran) until older relatives started pronouncing it the Air-on way which she hated!

Arran is 11 now and I don't think he has any issues with his name.

I was also at school with an Aaron pronounced the Air-on way, but he had the opposite issue of everyone calling him Arron!

Housemum · 28/05/2016 08:58

Nursery should definitely get his name right, but as for everyone else you will get used to it! (I have an Amélie, people who don't know her hear what they want to ie Emily, even though she quite clearly emphasises the A). People have pronounced it Ah-meal-ee (like Amelia without the last a) and the worst was Amy-Lee!

ninjapixy · 28/05/2016 12:42

You know, the first person I ever met with this name was a kid in school (in the Midlands) who I believe spelled it Arran. It really threw me when I learned that most people normally spell it Aaron. So I don't like the common spelling. Though I did think I was losing my mind and had just made up the spelling if that kids name until now.

My DH is called Damian, commonly misspelled to Damien. But his nan for some reason ALWAYS sends cards addressed to Damion. She's the only person that does this and I find it so bizarre.

magratvonlipwig · 28/05/2016 13:03

I do think if you decide not to spell it the regular way you have to expect the world in general to spell it they way it always have. That said, School and best friends should get it right. Everyone else is beyond your control. And do you want your child to referred to as the one with the funny spelling whos mum is a bit odd about it.

Just let it go !!