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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit terse with colleague full of the cold?

93 replies

TiverMeShimbers · 26/05/2016 09:40

Monday he was coughing
Tuesday he was sneezing
Wednesday he was so full of the cold he stayed in bed & called in sick.

Today - he's back in the bloody office! Pale & clammy looking. With a scarf on! Sneezing and coughing away!

Why wouldn't he just stay at home? He can work from home any time he likes....he has full access from home and it's not the type of job that you need to be face to face with people.

I've been a bit short with him...I did ask straight away how he was feeling, but it's obvious he's not well. So I couldn't help myself and told him he was spreading germs and should have just stayed at home.

He then put on a martyr face & said - "Oh dear ok, I'll try not to spread my germs"

We have a bit of an atmosphere now.

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 26/05/2016 10:02

It's a cold. Pull yourself together. You will have colds sometimes. Colds are not a reason for time off work. Woman up.

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat · 26/05/2016 10:02

He sounds like a bit of an idiot OP. I think you did right to tell him. Is he in it for the sympathy?

Patterkiller · 26/05/2016 10:07

bill he can work from home, Op's not saying to take time off from work just relocate.
I get annoyed with germ spreaders too.

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2016 10:14

Perhaps there's a reason he can't work from home today, and you actually don't know about it?

Either way, I think what you said was a bit unnecessary.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/05/2016 10:17

You shouldn't have been so rude, it's a bloody cold. There are probably 101 reasons why someone might not be able to work from home.

HazelBite · 26/05/2016 10:17

Take some echinacea and offer him some!

saoirse31 · 26/05/2016 10:19

Yabu and rude.

seeyounearertime · 26/05/2016 10:21

We have a bit of an atmosphere now.

probably because hes thinking,
"Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me when i can and cant come to work? fuck you, you're not my boss"

probably.

bloodymaria · 26/05/2016 10:22

Unless you are going to wrap yourself in a bubble op, you really can't avoid coming into contact with bugs. Try to relax a bit and be kinder to your colleague. Pop some echinacea and vitamin c if you're feelings by super paranoid.

Paintedhandprints · 26/05/2016 10:22

We had a policy of keep away from others and you had to make your own drinks if ill, in our office. No need to spread it around in my opinion.

bloodymaria · 26/05/2016 10:22

And yeah, YABU.

Marynary · 26/05/2016 10:28

I would be really irritated with anyone who did that as colds can make me quite ill (I have an autoimmune disease and take immunosuppressants). Obviously people have to go to work in some jobs but if you are allowed to work at home, it is really unnecessary and selfish to turn up and infect everyone else. I suspect people who do that are just trying to impress the managers by appearing to be very dedicated.
Fortunately where I work people are more considerate and work at home if they have a heavy cold.

SapphireStrange · 26/05/2016 10:31

It's a bit simplistic to think that someone with a cold at work will pass it to you and that colds can be avoided by people not coming to work with them.

You could get a cold from a stranger on the bus, from a door handle, standing in a lift...

And yes, YABU to try to tell colleagues when they should and shouldn't come to work. Not your business.

HolditFinger · 26/05/2016 10:31

YANBU. I can't stand germ spreaders either. Pick yourself up some First Defence from Boots. It works a treat and has saved me from loads of colds and feeling like crap for a week

BuunyChops · 26/05/2016 10:34

Totally YANBU.........

He can work from home; he hasn't offered any reason why he couldn't; now he's just spreading his germs around.

Drives me up the wall when people do this when they have other options; fair enough if you can't work from home and you don't get sick pay but otherwise it reeks of presenteeism. . . .

Marynary · 26/05/2016 10:34

It's a bit simplistic to think that someone with a cold at work will pass it to you and that colds can be avoided by people not coming to work with them.

It isn't simplistic at all. If someone comes to work with a heavy cold and you work near them you are much more likely to catch it than if they stay at home. What is complicated about that? Hmm

BillSykesDog · 26/05/2016 10:38

Exactly sapphire, the world doesn't stop for colds. They are minor illnesses.

Marynary · 26/05/2016 10:38

Drives me up the wall when people do this when they have other options; fair enough if you can't work from home and you don't get sick pay but otherwise it reeks of presenteeism.

I agree. A combination of selfish (trying to impress the managers) and ignorant (little concept of the fact that cold are not necessarily harmless to everyone and quite unhygeinic), I think.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 10:40

YANBU but only because he has the option to work from home - it does seem weird he is not doing that while he is ill, if it would really be just as effective for all concerned.

Otherwise it is U to be cross with somebody coming into work with a cold - some people catch several colds each year and take weeks to properly shake them, and they would be on final warnings pretty quickly if they stayed at home "sick" (rather than being fully able to work 100% as effectively as in the office from home with management's full blessing) each time to spare their colleagues the sight of them or the possible cold germs (anyone who works in an office and travels about the place is exposed to those anyway, so it would only reduce the risk of others catching colds slightly).

Marynary · 26/05/2016 10:40

BillSykesDog What a selfish attitude. Colds may be a minor illness for you but for me they can have a severe impact on my health. The world doesn't "stop" but that doesn't mean that people shouldn't make the effort to keep their germs to themselves.

PPie10 · 26/05/2016 10:40

You are bloody rude! Who do you think you are telling him to stay at home? It's a cold fgs.

tiggytape · 26/05/2016 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 26/05/2016 10:42

Jeez.... Another mumsnet wet blanket!

However I await the drip feed of further info....

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 26/05/2016 10:43

He's not 'really unwell'

He has a common cold!

tiggytape · 26/05/2016 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.