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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To change my driving instructor because I am still stalling after 10 months of lessons?

89 replies

twirlywoo69 · 25/05/2016 19:51

As the title says. I have been having lessons for 10 months and unable to drive my lesson without being prompted for 80% of it. I feel very nervous on the road and find driving really difficult. I still make frequent mistakes and usually stall or roll backwards at least twice a lesson. I really panic whenever I am at roundabouts and in town centres which also results in me making mistakes as I go completely blank. Im not sure if it's just me that is rubbish or my instructors method of teaching. Starting to feel quite down and embarrassed about how rubbish I am after so long. Is it normal for some learners to be stalling still etc after 10 months? Am I just a slow learner or should I just change instructors?

OP posts:

wheresthel1ght · 25/05/2016 19:53

Not sure how stalling is the fault of the instructor but there is no reason not to book an assessment lesson with someone different and see how you feel.

I was a very nervous driver and found that buying my own car and driving everywhere I could was the best thing for me. I found lessons very intimidating - i had had lessons on and off for 10 years but only took me 16 weeks to pass once I bought my car and gained confidence

eightbluebirds · 25/05/2016 19:54

I passed in February and still stall at least once a week. But if you feel like you aren't progressing at all, looking at other instructors could be worth a shot.

BrandNewAndImproved · 25/05/2016 19:54

Can you get a banger and practise driving with a relative? I found when I had to rely on myself (my nan is a crap driver so wasn't any help apart from sitting there so I could legally drive bless her) I learnt how to drive. Then I'd get into the instructors car and forget everything again but I think that's because I knew they would help me.

DancingDinosaur · 25/05/2016 19:56

I'd change and see how you get on. My first instructor never let me do the clutch control and never suggested me putting in for my test. I changed instructors and learnt how to drive really quickly with a better instructor. I passed first time about a month later.

RumAppleGinger · 25/05/2016 19:57

Yes, change instructors. Lessons are expensive and if you don't think your current instructor is getting the best out of you try someone else.

My first instructor made me feel really nervous. I didn't find it easy to talk to him and felt like he was annoyed at any mistakes I made. Tried a different driving school and found someone I really clicked with, could have a joke with and felt much more confident around and therefore much more confident driving with.

Good luck.

Sparkletastic · 25/05/2016 19:58

It sounds like you more than the instructor. I was terrified of my first instructor but it didn't affect my driving. Do try someone else though.

EsmeraldaEllaBella · 25/05/2016 19:59

Yes change. And get lots of private practise, that's the only thing that'll get you to pass really

Branleuse · 25/05/2016 20:01

i would go for an automatic tbh. Driving a manual is not just about gears, its about having decent foot control for the clutch. I went over to an automatic for similar reasons. Its a game changer

blublutoo · 25/05/2016 20:04

People stall all the time so don't worry about that. I know this doesn't help for your test but I can be quite a nervous driver but I'm a much more confident driver when I'm on my own I'm the car.

KP86 · 25/05/2016 20:14

I've been driving for almost 15 years and still stall sometimes!

But if you don't feel like you've progressed after 10 months, I would be asking your instructor how long they think until you're ready to be assessed.

The thing is, you still need to practice in your own car for a few hours/week in order to improve and be more confident. When I was learning as a teen my mum used to drive my car to meet me and then I would drive home. And vice versa.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/05/2016 20:16

I think after ten months you have given it a go, time for a change. I would suggest an automatic but also try a change of instructor. Be honest, say you are a bag of nerves so want to take things slowly.
One day it will all click and you will feel more confident.

BabyGanoush · 25/05/2016 20:19

Would you consider lessons in an automatic? It's what I did. No stalling, no clutch. You either hit the gas or the brakes, and just steer.

So much more civilised!

Don't really know why the British are so attached to manual gear shifting

PhoebeGeebee · 25/05/2016 20:26

Automatic all the way. I really struggled with a manual and everything you had to do when you came up to a roundabout. My first lesson in an auto was a revelation. Passed my test three months later.

FlowersAndShit · 25/05/2016 20:31

Aren't automatic cars really hard to get hold of/very expensive in the UK?

VagueIdeas · 25/05/2016 20:39

Go automatic.

I hated learning to drive. I was panic stricken all the time, permanently terrified of stalling to the extent I never wanted to come to a stop at roundabouts

I passed my test and never drove again.

Ten years and two kids later, something has to give. I couldn't stand being a non driver any longer. Convinced DH to get an automatic, took a few lessons and away I went. It's so easy. You won't regret it.

NaraDeer · 25/05/2016 20:42

I was a really nervous learner. I stalled all the time. My instructor was lovely and a great match for me so I couldn't understand why it kept happening.
I'm the sort of person who takes in information in written form so much better than when being told things so in the end I looked online and read tips from other people who had kept stalling and then it made sense and I stopped stalling and passed my test first time!
Well I stopped stalling most of the time anyway!

Foofoobum · 25/05/2016 20:44

When I took lessons in the instructors corsa/Astra I stalled constantly. I hate the car (all Vauxhall cars drive the same imo) and couldn't get the clutch right at all. I failed my first test in his car so I drove my own in lessons after that until my next test when I passed with no issues. Do you have the same problem in a different car?

magoria · 25/05/2016 20:47

It could be the car you drive.

I got a new car in January and stall it most days. I had to use a company car for 3 weeks and didn't stall it once!

Different makes/models may affect you.

Also try moving the seat one notch forwards so your foot pushes the clutch down easier.

YouMakeMyDreams · 25/05/2016 20:49

Rum basically summed up my experience. My first instructor did nothing for my confidence at all. And when I changed instructors I discovered huge gaps in my learning and he really helped me work on clutch control and the things I was nervous about. He was funny we could have a laugh and he really boosted my confidence.
My mum did the same and so did my ex on my advice. A change of instructor did us all the world of good.

Lightbulbon · 25/05/2016 20:54

It isn't the time it's the number of lessons that count!

Have you had 10 months of a hour a week, 10 lessons or 2 hours twice a week?

pinkladyapple · 25/05/2016 21:06

Don't get an automatic just because you find it hard to drive manual. You will limit your driving options forever and no to mention make it harder for yourself when it comes to buying a car.

I switched driving instructor because I realised my teacher would just get me to drive for an hour rather than teach me. My 2nd teacher would frequently pause during the lesson to talk about a mistake I made constructively and give me goals at the beginning of each lesson.

My first instructor also used to text while I was driving.

pinkladyapple · 25/05/2016 21:09

Oh and I learnt for about 18 months before I passed as I was a nervous wreck too!

Changing instructors didn't help with the nerves though. The only thing that helped with that was practice. And my 2nd instructor made me do a feared roundabout over and over. And it was a good thing too as I ended up having to use it every day to and from work a little while later!

I do agree that going out to drive with an experience relative (make sure you're insured as a learner on their insurance) will help too. But to be honest I don't think by the sounds of it that you're competent enough to do that. If you're frozen in fear you don't want to be in a car with someone who does not have their own pedals in an emergency. It may make you feel worse.

Out2pasture · 25/05/2016 21:14

sure change instructors but why are you on a manual and not an automatic?
see if you can find a driving school/instructor that has an automatic for you to develop some confidence with then switch over to the manual?

why why why a manual....trade that in :(

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 25/05/2016 21:19

Absolutely change instructors. I don't 14 lessons with a guy who never really progressed me, he made me feel so nervous and I'd dread the lesson for days before it and feel a bag of nerves on the day.

I stopped going as i hated it. Changed to a new instructor and wow what a difference.He filled me with confidence and I had no nerves and looked forward to lessons and it was just a totally different experience!

It sounds like your instructors not giving you enough help or time spent on clutch control. Definitely ask friends and family for recommendations. My first instructor was old school and quite uptight and talked to me like I was a child. The new one was so laid back and it just really helped.

Babelange · 25/05/2016 21:22

Is the car a diesel? Something similar happened with my instructor and he got fed up with the car and switched to a petrol version. If the car is diesel then it worked to be heavy on the clutch. Our current car which is a diesel and has a ridiculous 'blue motion' driving option which when switched on always stalls with me... don't worry too unduly about fuel economy when you are learning. Good luck - took me 40 lessons and 4 tests

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