AIBU to think that homeless people should be grateful if somebody gives them food

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So I'm feeling a bit upset. I got out of the tube station a saw a homeless man sitting on the floor. He was in a bad shape so I decided to get him some food (firstly, I don't like giving money and secondly I didn't have any change). I went out of my way to get him food and drink and cake from sainsburys. I gave it to him and he said 'I don't want it, I want money'. I said 'I don't have any money but I'm giving you food and drink'. He said 'If you give me money I can buy food myself'. 'But I'm giving you food'. 'I don't want it, give me some money.'
So I walked off. I wanted to do something nice and he threw it in my face.
I know homeless issues are very complex but still AIBU to think that he should accepted what I was giving him. Or should I only ever give money (which I don't like doing)?

FFS the OP is hardly saying he should have knelt at and kissed her feet. She did a nice thing and a thank you would have been decent.

This thread is so 'othering'. He should be grateful...would you? Why should someone else be grateful for something you wouldn't be grateful for? And no, food intolerances do not vanish the minute your arse hits the street. Give, don't give. Up to you. But no-one owes you a grovel.
But he was rude. I would have told him that and scoffed my own sandwich after saying something like I don't let my kids speak to me like that, so...

A lot of beggars aren't really homeless and a lot of them will use any money you give them to buy drugs. I always buy food and normally ask them first what they want. If they say "only money" I don't give them any.

The needs of homeless people are not just limited to not having food...and no, being poor or down on your luck doesn't mean you need to show gratitude to everyone who thinks they know who and what you are without bothering to even smile at you first.

He should be grateful. Would you?
We aren't begging on the streets, pippity . If I was, I imagine I wouldn't turn down a free sandwich when 99% of people simply walked past and ignored me, would you?

I usually ask what they would like and if they want a tea / coffee too if im going into Orets.. Last request was for Artisan Chicken ...

I think asking first is a good thing to do. OP.. you did a good thing, I don't like giving money too much either but I do sometimes. don't let the attitude of one person colour your view of all. . Continue being generous (but perhaps ask first so they can give you a preference when possible )

Oh my days. Some of the posts on this thread are hilarious. Trust the left wing middle class MN brigade to come up with an imaginary narrative where the beggar is upset because nobody ever takes into consideration his veganism or food intolerances.

OP, it was very nice of you and it was a shame you came across a twat. However if you just randomly give money to a beggar chances are that you're giving to a professional who often isn't homeless at all. As others have said giving to a homeless charity is a better way of helping.

I used to work in central London and after I finished my minimum wage bar maid shift I'd sit waiting for a night bus home watching a lot of the local beggars getting into expensive black cabs that were far out of my budget with bags of takeaway from nice shops on the way back to their homes. I work in a University town now and there are blatantly professional beggars that deliberately target students because they're gullible.

I only used to give things to people I got to know. There was one woman who had massive MH problems and had two dogs who were the only bit of happiness she had and the provision for homeless women with dogs is appalling so she had little choice but to be on the streets. I actually used to buy her cider on Friday and Saturday nights if I could, because she'd stay in busy areas until she had enough to drink and she was much more likely to get beaten up or hassled there. She was lovely and certainly wouldn't have been rude to anyone giving her food. Or there was another chap who was floridly insane and basically picked a spot to lie down and die in because he'd come out of prison and he just decided he'd had enough and stopped taking his HIV drugs. Now he would have told you to fuck off if you'd given him a sandwich. But he would also have told you to fuck off I've you'd given him money, or a yacht or a plane or the keys to his own penthouse because he was just a fuck off kind of person. Still gave him food and fags and stuff because he was in a right old state and couldn't even get up to manage his own waste. He wouldn't consent to going to hospital so the local shop assistants and waiters basically became his palliative caters in terms of McDonalds and Rothmans and White Lightening. I missed my Tri-daily 'fuck offs' from him when he died. But he was absolutely genuine.

Anyway, the moral of the story is give to charity unless you know enough back story to be really confident it's actually going to help someone in desperate need.

What an eye-opening thread. OP, you were kind. Your offer was rejected. I've bought food for people begging on the street before. I don't always have change. I think this thread has convinced me that it would be better to just give money to a homeless charity instead.

You weren't unreasonable at all, OP, some of the posters on this thread are being ridiculously self-righteous and sanctimonious. Do what you want in future, you were good enough to stop and help. So many don't.

He was rude - you get bad mannered people in all walks of life unfortunately, although luckily most are not. It was fair enough if he didn't want it, but there was no need to be unpleasant. Although he also isn't obligated to be grateful either. Everyone's entitled to their own dignity - whether homeless or not.

I've bought a sandwich and a drink for someone before and they've been pleased to accept. But if someone doesn't want something, that's up to them to decide. If I give change or food to someone sitting on the street, I try not to be patronising with it, and I would hate for someone to feel they had to bow and scrape with gratitude. There's a guy near me who sits outside a local supermarket, and I usually ask if I can grab him something, and he tells me what he needs. Can understand not wanting to give money, although I do at times. I also don't see anything wrong with asking if you can buy something for someone. So there's my two pence worth. HTH!

What you did was very kind, when you asked him if her woukd like void, and he said no, money, then I woukd have walked off and kept the foid. Not all beggars are genuine, they do this as a living.

If I was unfortunate enough to find myself on the streets I would want cash to buy whisky. Or just whisky.

I think food is a lovely gesture, but ask first. It hadn't occured to me but I gave a bloke a couple of quid the other day and the woman right behind me stopped and asked him what he wanted from Greggs. He wanted a bottle of Coke. Maybe he had had a butty and was just thirsty

I regularly buy "my" homeless man a tesco or Starbucks gift voucher. He doesn't like being given food as he has ibs so has to check he can eat it. He may come across as ungrateful refusing food but if he does eat it he has very few places he can clean himself up.

X

Sorry Flogging, hadn't realised you were there and saw 99% of people walk away without offering anything. If I had been given 5 sandwiches that day and really would rather have had a Mars Bar I think I might have been a bit grumpy too. If all these professional beggars exist and make such great money, then 99% of people cannot just ignore, or 1% of people must be both rich and generous.

I was in Greggs one morning buying breakfast and a homeless (I presume) man came up to me and asked me to buy him a cup of tea. I said ok, and asked the shop assistant to add a cup of tea to my bill. The homeless man said 'no, I want to buy a tea at Costa, can you give me the money?'!

Alot of homeless charities say never give money to a begger. Yanbu. Id give food rather than money. One of my friends always gives a can of dog food and a can opener to anyone with a dog.

What a hideous attitude that just because someone is homeless they have to take what they are given and don't have a choice.

Was he actually begging or did you just approach him?

You were just trying to do a nice thing op, and he was rude.
I used to walk past the same guy and his dog every day on my way to work, id normally give him my change (if I had any)
One day I stopped to give him the odd couple of pound and a dog treat (as usual) but I had also stopped to get myself a bacon roll and a coffee earlier. He said, mm that smells good, havnt had bacon in a long time. I felt bad, so offered it, he happily accepted it.
I patted the dog and went to go on my merry way.
Then it hit me.....literally...along with the screaming "there's no fucking sauce on it" he threw my roll at me due to lack of ketchup!

I was and sad That the bacon was on the floor! but I figured he had ketchup issues. However I didn't stop by him again and kept my sauceless bacon safe

Kendusk - if a Big Issue seller is rude or aggressive report them to your local BI organizers. They want to know, especially if the person isn't a register seller without badge, tabard etc.
Young man I knew since at school who was on the streets for a while said some cafes were so generous that he and others were stuffed with out of time KFC and Pret sandwiches!
Some cities have Outreach teams who provide evening hot drinks, soup etc and advice. Donations welcome online.
I once offered to buy a man sitting outside Boots a sandwich, as an afterthought I asked whether he was vegetarian. Huge grin as he responded 'I'm Irish!' I got him a chicken and bacon sandwich.

He doesn't have a fucking home to to go. Cut him some fucking slack.

I'd give money knowing it was spent in special brew who am I to judge

I have often given food to beggars, and it has always been received with good manners, ranging from a polite, neutral "Thanks", to utter, grateful, astonishment.

Except once, when I was approached by a beggar as I came out of a fast food place in central London with a fresh, sealed, cup of tea in my hand. In those days the cover had a tab to unseal before you drank. The young woman ask me for 50p to buy a cup of tea. I said "Here, have this one. I haven't started it." She gave me a dirty look and walked off. As I sat on the bench drinking my tea, I saw her approach person after person with the same request. She got plenty of money, but never went to buy her cup of tea.

To be fair he would have said if he was vegan ...

... Just putting another stereotype out there

My FIL had money thrown back at him today by a man begging, it wasn't enough apparently. I would assume the man begging was mentally ill.

I tend to ask before buying food. I know that on cold days a hot beaker of tea and a bacon roll can be very gratefully received.
I equally have no problem with giving money....even if it is going on booze/drugs. When someone has reached that point in their life then any kindness must give hope.

Alfieisnoisy Is giving someone the means to buy drugs a kindness? It sounds more like pushing in the knife to me.