AIBU to think that homeless people should be grateful if somebody gives them food

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So I'm feeling a bit upset. I got out of the tube station a saw a homeless man sitting on the floor. He was in a bad shape so I decided to get him some food (firstly, I don't like giving money and secondly I didn't have any change). I went out of my way to get him food and drink and cake from sainsburys. I gave it to him and he said 'I don't want it, I want money'. I said 'I don't have any money but I'm giving you food and drink'. He said 'If you give me money I can buy food myself'. 'But I'm giving you food'. 'I don't want it, give me some money.'
So I walked off. I wanted to do something nice and he threw it in my face.
I know homeless issues are very complex but still AIBU to think that he should accepted what I was giving him. Or should I only ever give money (which I don't like doing)?

Haha love AIBU.

Yanbu, he was an arsehole.

Give to food bank or charities.

A lovely receptionist of ours very day used to buy a bacon sandwich and a coffee and walk up to a permanent fixture next to our office. He was a gruff man, matted hair, tattered clothes and obviously slept rough. She would set the bsg next to him on his usual bench, nod and smile at him, and he would nod back and that was their routine.

We have quite a few people begging around here. They were camping out at marble arch - dozens coming ovet in the summer high tourist season - but seem to have been moved on but they are still around. They have 'schticks' - sometimes they will have small children with them, sometimes flowers, or holding up photos or notes.

Surely he would just save the food until later in the day till when he was hungry.

It could easily be part of what made him homeless. Not being able to think in terms of later, but only the now. Who knows?

Be very clear that many homeless people in the UK aren't homeless because they are poor. Often, they became homeless through different issues that mean they won't think or react like most of us would.

I remember when I first moved to London that on my street lived a blind beggar who played the accordion (very badly) in front of Selfridges. He lived with his family in a council house and had a disabled parking spot in front of his house. Yet, he was begging (because the "music" was that bad") on the street.

I remember the accordion man! And the blind violinist (I think he is still around).

Remember the eat more/less (I forget which) protein man with the sandwich boards at Oxford circus?

Ups, he may have been a violinist. Anyway, a musician.

It was a looooong time ago.

There was definitely a squeezebox man. Terrible noise. The penny whistle grunge girl is pretty awful too.

By giving them money you could possibly be paying for the next line of Coke which sees them dead on the streets tomorrow. Not to mention funding a trade which is linked to all manner of criminal activity.

This, and particularly the second sentence. Not to mention that alcohol actually makes hypothermia even more likely.

I stick to giving to food banks or charities.

Don't give money. If you are concerned about someone sleeping rough, there is a government funded service called Streetlink streetlink.mobi/street-link where you can easily report rough sleepers, and the local authority homelessness team will look out for them and offer help.

Or funding crime. I saw a guy cycle up to a local beggar and start screaming at her. It would appear that she was 'working' for him, she had been trying to avoid him (not answering the phone he'd given her) and it would be the worse for her if she didn't do as she was told. She looked terrified. He was pretty scary.

YANBU.

What a rude bastard. Homeless, home-owner, or royalty - the polite thing do when offered a free lunch is to gratefully accept or graciously decline, regardless of your financial circumstances.

Oh, yes, the accordion man. He once whacked dsis really hard on the back of the head with it (accidentally!) as he was travelling on the tube to work... There was also a bagpipe man outside Selfridges. He used to earn quite a lot because periodically they'd pay him to go away! And I do remember as well the Eat More Nuts man who used to wander up and down. Do the Hari Krishnas still jog along Oxford St? You could hear them coming a mile away...

I really despair of the posters who dominated the beginning of this thread lambasting the OP for daring to give a homeless person a sandwich as they'd prefer money. On a previous thread someone was breast-beating about the evils of the Salvation Army who had the audacity to ban drinking and drug-taking in their shelters. Having had direct experience of the SA and their work, I nearly burst through the computer screen and had the poster by the scruff of her silly neck.

The haris are still trotting up and down. They cheer me up.

I worked for a charity and it's never a good idea to hand money to beggars. There are so many good homeless charities who know what they are doing. Loo roll for instance - I never thought of donating this to shelters until I worked with one.

On a cold night in central London my dd once bought a Big Mac for a man with a 'Homeless and Hungry' placard.

He told her to fuck off, he wanted money.

I don't give to anyone on the street any more, but I do give to homeless charities - Crisis, St Mungo's, the Sally Army etc. There was also a local supposedly homeless bloke begging in the same place for literally years. Turned out later he had his own flat (owned, not rented) and a nice fat stash in the bank. I've heard one too many stories like this now.

Maybe he was vegan or something, but he could have declined more politely.

Beggar or not, there's no excuse for bad manners.

I once got a 'sob story' from a beggar asking for money. When I said I wouldn't give money but would she like a sandwich she told me to fuck off!

Maybe he was vegan

I think there is a bigger chance that he was saving up for an all inclusive to Corfu than there is of that.

Vegan!

And whilst he was rather rude to you, it probably would have gone down better to approach him first and ask him to come with you to the shop to pick something and you'd pay.

FFS come on really.

The beggars outside tubes are 99% of the time professional beggars. They are not hungry. They are doing it for the money. The tube station pitches are tightly controlled by gangs. They might be being exploited but they are generally not actually hungry.

I've seen them do the switch over at Old Street before. Its super slick. One arrives for his shift and the other one goes. Gets out his iphone...

It was very kind of you to try and do something for him.

As other pp have said, he would have had complex issues with alcohol/drug problems probably, and wanted money to get a fix. Unfortunately a lot of homeless take drugs, and whilst I would not begrudge them spending the little money I give them on drugs, I do not want to be funding the drug industry.

The charities ask us not to give money to the homeless and it does not solve anything. In fact it can contribute to making things worse. A lot of the homeless die on the streets, especially when it is cold. Alcohol and drugs can contribute to this.

Thinking of how rude he was to you, think about some of the things he puts up with on a daily basis, he probably gets spat on, sworn at and pissed on. He must have a horrid life.

On average, homeless people die at just 47 years old. A homeless rough sleeper is 35 times more likely to commit suicide than the average person.

The streets are a dangerous place to be - homeless people are 13 times more likely to be a victim of violent crime than the general public, and 47 times more likely to be a victim of theft.

St Mungo's are a great charity that help and support the homeless. Next time make a donation to them, they are helping to make a difference to the homeless.

You were being kind , charitable and supportive, he clearly does not need to beg and is not in need otherwise he would have accepted your offer. I think that there are many people currently asking for money who don't need it or who want money to pay for things other than food. Sadly there may be people on the streets who are in need but these are few

You were being kind, he is most probably a professional. There is a similar character who hangs around commercial road in east London. Saw a young tourist give him a whole Nandos meal (he was across the road from the restaurant) The ungrateful sod told her to piss off.

Beggar or not, there's no excuse for bad manners.

This reads SO British. :)

If he was vegan, would he have accepted some salmon tartare, do you think?

You were being kind, he is most probably a professional. There is a similar character who hangs around commercial road in east London. Saw a young tourist give him a whole Nandos meal (he was across the road from the restaurant) The ungrateful sod told her to piss off.