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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Habitual Bike Borrowing? Grin and bare it or punch in the face?

117 replies

ohdogoaway · 23/05/2016 12:28

So i live a few houses down from a nice family - three kids under 4. Every single day without fail, the kids turn up with their nanny to ask to borrow my sons bike. I don't mind the odd occasion but now it feels like they are taking the piss. A few weeks ago we went away and as a gesture in return for them holding onto my house keys, I very nicely told the mum that as her daughter clearly loved riding the bike, she should maybe buy one, particularly as she has three younger kids who would all make use of it too. I said they could take the bike for the week we were away, take it to the bike shop to get one of a similar size etc. I came back and the same thing resumed. It is really pissing me off. Am i being churlish. This is not a money issue - they are well off by anyones standards. Her excuse was that the bikes in the shop were not as good quality as ours, but I have bought bikes for my older kids from the shop and they are fine. I don't want to have an tension but i feel inclined to violence - please advise!

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 23/05/2016 12:30

Just tell them it's gone to be serviced; break the habit. And tell your nanny to say no after that!

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 23/05/2016 12:31

Have you ever heard of the word NO? As in, no you can't borrow the bike?

rumbelina · 23/05/2016 12:32

Tell them you don't want to be liable if anything went wrong with the bike and they hurt themselves?

NorbertDentressangle · 23/05/2016 12:32

Make sure the bike is not borrowable next time - " sorry it has a puncture/ brakes have broken and need replacing".

It may spur them on to buy one for their DC.

TheSpottedZebra · 23/05/2016 12:33

Say your DS is going to be using it. And actually the offer was for that week, not everyday, and it's rather inconvenient now.

rumbelina · 23/05/2016 12:34

It's not that easy to just say 'no' though is it. I would find this difficult, I'd need a solid reason to back me up if I'd been lending it out previously. I'd have to say something like someone once broke our bike and it caused problems and I didn't want that to happen again.

MrEBear · 23/05/2016 12:37

Start making the bike unavailable "Sorry DS is using it" it would totally bug me somebody constantly asking to borrow things.

ZenNudist · 23/05/2016 12:38

Say no. Get the nanny to say no. Speak to the mum 'its every single day, I get that you don't want to buy your child a bike but can you stop pestering us every single day please'.

I was going to say there's no harm done but actually it's like bit buying a tv then turning up at your neighbours to watch if every night.

ZenNudist · 23/05/2016 12:39

Recommend secondhand on eBay btw. Get a good make. Bargain.

MrEBear · 23/05/2016 12:41

I wouldn't say someone has broken it or it needs fixed that would clearly be a lie the second your son wants to ride it.

Original poster

ohdogoaway · 23/05/2016 12:43

I want to say no, but the nanny is such a wall flower and probably realizes its too much and she waits for the 3 year old to ask me. the mother is at work. I could say my son is using it, but the kids cycle outside so they can see clearly he is not. If i say its broken, they will know its a lie because my son uses it in the morning ( and they usually come by in the afternoon). Trust me - i have thought if everything! And i really want to avoid bad feelings, because you never know when you might need help from a neighbor. But this is too much! Am i being U? I just need to know if this is normal?

OP posts:

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 12:44

Say "I'm afraid not" with a smile.

Pinkheart5915 · 23/05/2016 12:44

Just say no, or have a word with the nanny and say you don't mind now and that but every day?

If they didn't like the quality of the bikes at that bike shop they could always try I don't know going to another to buy one.

Original poster

ohdogoaway · 23/05/2016 12:45

Am i being hideously selfish to deny a three year old a go on a bike?

OP posts:

crabbiearses · 23/05/2016 12:45

can you not just say, 'No ( insert daughters name) would rather not lend her bike out anymore'. end of story

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/05/2016 12:47

Good lord woman, suck it up and say NO.

If the 3 year old asks you, get down on her level and say "Oh, no sweetie, you can't, it's time to get your own bike." "You go and ask your mummy when she gets home."

Then smile at nanny while you gently close the door.

crabbiearses · 23/05/2016 12:47

No you aren't selfish at all, its your daughters bike, they have a brass neck asking every day, be assertive and say no they can buy their own child a bike, you can pick kids bikes up for free or very cheap on gumtree.

Arfarfanarf · 23/05/2016 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Veterinari · 23/05/2016 12:47

No you're not being unreasonable. But your choices are to just say no or suck it up. You don't need a reason

You can't keep handing it over then complain they're taking advantage. You need to put that boundary in palace

christinarossetti · 23/05/2016 12:48

You do need to seize the bull by the horns and say 'I'm afraid I'm not lending it out any more.'

You don't need to give a reason (in fact, don't because it will drag it out). But you do need to state very clearly that you don't intend to lend your son's bike out to anyone else any more.

I expect they'll get their finger out and buy their dd her own, which will be much nicer or her anyway.

ThatStewie · 23/05/2016 12:48

It isn't selfish to say no. What happens if they break the bike, will they replace it? What if your son wants to use it but they have it? It's kind of you to share but everyday is a bit much

NorbertDentressangle · 23/05/2016 12:48

Is your DS likely to grow out of that bike soon?

If so , seeing as they "can't find one in the shop that is as good" , offer to sell them your son's one (for a good amount of money) and then get your son a new one, making it clear that the new one won't be available for borrowing

BikeRunSki · 23/05/2016 12:49

They're taking the p. Once or twice, three or 4 times even, but the child is clearly interested and able to ride a bike, so the parents should be considering getting their own. You're not denying a 3 year old a go on a bike, you're preserving it for your own child.

crabbiearses · 23/05/2016 12:49

my daughter would go apeshit if i handed her bike out to to neighbours kids so just tell them she doesn't want to share it anymore.

CoraPirbright · 23/05/2016 12:49

Totally with you - how annoying! You are not a frigging lending library!! I would say 'yes' to the 3 year old the next time she knocks and then beckon the cowardly nanny over and tell her that its really about time that the parents bought their own and that this is the last time, you won't be lending yours anymore. Double the wear-and-tear and all that.

Or don't answer the door to them?

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