Habitual Bike Borrowing? Grin and bare it or punch in the face?

[ohdogoaway]

So i live a few houses down from a nice family - three kids under 4. Every single day without fail, the kids turn up with their nanny to ask to borrow my sons bike. I don't mind the odd occasion but now it feels like they are taking the piss. A few weeks ago we went away and as a gesture in return for them holding onto my house keys, I very nicely told the mum that as her daughter clearly loved riding the bike, she should maybe buy one, particularly as she has three younger kids who would all make use of it too. I said they could take the bike for the week we were away, take it to the bike shop to get one of a similar size etc. I came back and the same thing resumed. It is really pissing me off. Am i being churlish. This is not a money issue - they are well off by anyones standards. Her excuse was that the bikes in the shop were not as good quality as ours, but I have bought bikes for my older kids from the shop and they are fine. I don't want to have an tension but i feel inclined to violence - please advise!

[pluck]

Even if the nanny relayed (it) in a mean way, that's possibly a reaction to the parents' passiveness/ tightness, so the parents do deserve to hear how they've been putting people out. I wouldn't worry about it!

[dustarr73]

The only person who should feel bad is the Mum who wont buy a bike.Just say hello and leave it at that.

[steppemum]

next time you see her?

hello, how are you, nice to see you - bright breezy and totally no reference to bike at all.

[ChaseAvenal]

I don't think it's a terrible thing if the mum has seen this. You identified that the bike taking was a bit of a piss take, yes, but you were nothing but polite about the mum, nanny and child.

If she seems a bit short with you then maybe the message about getting her own bike wasn't relayed as politely as you said it, but it'll blow over, and she'll probably get the kid her own bike now which'll be lovely for her.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Full of mistakes. I meant that she wasn't being unreasonable in her eyes.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

If the neighbour is a ' better then I guess she has just received a valuable lesson in British culture. If this is the norm in her culture then she was being unreasonable in her eyes so at most it's just been a cultural misunderstanding. No one has been cheeky or rude really, it's just not the way things are dine here. Neighbour knows that now, no need to let it affect your day to day relationship and if kids are all out playing together then it's obviously more acceptable to borrow each other's things. But at least then the owner of the item has some say in the matter.

[ohdogoaway]

[SquinkiesRule]

I bet she's a mumsnetter and read the thread and recognized herself on here.

[Isetan]

Think of it this way, by providing access to your child's bike your making it easy for this 3 year old's mother, not to give her child the joy of having their own bike. OP your actions could be the catalyst for the broad grin that would appear on this 3 year olds face if he had his own bike.

[SideOrderofChip]

Oooh i bet shes a mumsnetter

[CantAffordtoLive]

She's an MNer

[ohdogoaway]

And yes I realize this whole thread is ridiculous and if I never hear the words borrowing and bike in the same sentence it will be too soon

[ohdogoaway]

Update: apparently mother told nanny not to bring kids to borrow bike any more - i am not sure why- maybe it's because I told the nanny to suggest to the mother she should buy a bike for her daughter as she is coming every day last time they came!
I feel awkward now - I don't see the mum much but I feel bad. She probably thinks I'm an awful person . I know I shouldn't feel bad but I wonder if my message got relayed in a mean way when I actually said it in a very polite British sort of way i.e. : maybe you should suggest to her mum that she buy her a bike because she is coming every day to borrow it and she clearly loves riding bikes (which by the way is exactly what I said to her mum last time she came with the kids to borrow the bike before we went away) ....hmmm on reflection I shouldn't feel bad but any suggestions on how to handle the next casual street encounter with her welcome!

[TheMaddHugger]

What the ?? they don't even let/ask DS to play?

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

Ohdogoaway yes that is very weird. At least the family who tried to insist we sell them one of our sledges to save them postage also drive me around the twist with their obsession with DS1 himself - I think they think he is some kind of community asset, because I get bombarded with WhatsAps when the parents feel Ds1 has been playing too much with one of the other boys in the village who doesn't get on with their boy, and demanding priority booking rights over his next block of free time...

(I kid you not, this happened today... I do not police who my kids play with and let them choose, but a couple of months ago the mum was accusing me of forbidding DS1 from playing with her son because they'd fallen out.) Nobody else local is like that or even gets involved in their kids' friendships - weird people are weird about lots of things usually, I suspect!

I love local kids playing out together and naturally having a play on each other's stuff but would never lend my kids' stuff out without the attached kid unless it was outgrown.

[NotYoda]

Yes, because they aren't even pretending it's a quid pro quo.

[ohdogoaway]

Yes they have NEVER asked him to play.....is this odd pray tell?

[pluck]

Outrageous that they come along and only ask for the bike. Do they never ask HIM to play, or just his bike?

I've been in the position of having to work around a tight employer, but a nanny has much more discretion than the job I'm thinking of, and should have the authority to distract the child from her mother's failure to buy a bike!

[OTheHugeManatee]

What Frrrrrippery said

[Frrrrrrippery]

Nothing yet - this is beginning to annoy me. I want closure

Me too.

[ivykaty44]

Say to the child

You need to get mummy to buy your own bike

We are off out with the bike in a little while so not today

[NotYoda]

Claudia

[ohdogoaway]

Nothing yet - this is beginning to annoy me. I want closure. Maybe they are MNs

[CoraPirbright]

Have they been around to borrow the bike again OP? Or were they really mnetters who recognised themselves?!

[mygorgeousmilo]

YANBU they are outrageously cheeky! Wear and tear, inconvenience etc. Do you think if the bike is broken or lost or stolen, that they'd think of replacing it?