Habitual Bike Borrowing? Grin and bare it or punch in the face?

[ohdogoaway]

So i live a few houses down from a nice family - three kids under 4. Every single day without fail, the kids turn up with their nanny to ask to borrow my sons bike. I don't mind the odd occasion but now it feels like they are taking the piss. A few weeks ago we went away and as a gesture in return for them holding onto my house keys, I very nicely told the mum that as her daughter clearly loved riding the bike, she should maybe buy one, particularly as she has three younger kids who would all make use of it too. I said they could take the bike for the week we were away, take it to the bike shop to get one of a similar size etc. I came back and the same thing resumed. It is really pissing me off. Am i being churlish. This is not a money issue - they are well off by anyones standards. Her excuse was that the bikes in the shop were not as good quality as ours, but I have bought bikes for my older kids from the shop and they are fine. I don't want to have an tension but i feel inclined to violence - please advise!

[SisterMoonshine]

And if the 3 year old cries - hold your ground.
It might be that she soon gets her own bike.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

As everyone else has said - just say no. How would you like it if someone kept letting a random neighbour borrow your stuff - it is so unfair to your son.

[whois]

Tell them you don't want to be liable

Saying you don't want to be 'liable' is such a dickish thing to say!

Just say your kid wants to use it and you'd rather not be sharing it like this all the time. Or offer to sell them this one!

[JeffreySadsacIsUnwell]

Say no. It's not yours to lend, it's your son's - right now you're teaching him that his feelings and his possessions don't matter. You should worry about your own child's feelings more than your neighbour's 3yo. If your neighbour couldn't afford a bike at all, and your son wasn't interested in his, it might be different (though it's still his bike to lend or not) - but your son uses his bike everyday and they can afford a bike for their child but refuse to buy one.

[AyeAmarok]

Next time say "No sorry, it's being used too much now and it's getting worn out".

[paxillin]

Am i being hideously selfish to deny a three year old a go on a bike? It is the parents who deny this three year old a bike. I just wouldn't appreciate the daily visits. Say to the nanny "please don't come and ask again". It's different if your ds is out on the bike and then he lets the neighbours' kid borrow it. This would be having a go on a bike and sharing a toy.

[IsItMeOr]

Why not tell the mother where you got this bike from?

Couldn't they buy one over the internet if it's not available from your local shop?

And, of course, just say no. I would try to say it to the mother personally, rather than waiting for the child to come around.

[paxillin]

I don't think the neighbour has any intention of buying a bike. She thinks she'll get this one for the younger kids when OP's son outgrows it.

[DailyMailFodder]

YABU for being so wussy. and YABU to think that you can't say no to a three year old.

Next time just say that you would rather not lend i to them.

It really is that simple.

[Willow2016]

No no no!
Tell them they arent wearing out your sons bike and to buy their own! Its their responsibility to buy their own kids a bike, not yours to provide one free gratis (while your tyres get worn down to a frazzle)

I wouldnt dream of lending out my kids stuff to anyone, its thier stuff and they decide what happens to it. (Unless I take it off them for punishment

If they can afford a nanny they can afford a bike for a 3 yr old.

If it gets a puncture when they have it out or bashed are they going to pay for repairs? Doubt that very much.

Tell nanny to stop calling round as no means no!

[Blowninonabreeze]

Is the mum actually aware of the daily borrowing?
She might be mortified if she finds out that her nanny is allowing her 3 year old to ask you for it 3-4 x per week. Especially if nanny/ au pair is so shy. She may not have told mum what they do.

[ExitPursuedByADonkey]

If I was a nice person I would say don't be mean, let her borrow it.

Fortunately I am not a nice person.

No, sorry, not lending the bike out anymore.
Smile.

[LupoLoopy]

If the Mother can afford a nanny she can afford a second hand bike.

This. This. This.

Say 'no' and walk away. Let the Nanny and Mum do the explaining. It's clearly a piss-take.

[ChicRock]

I would be telling the nanny very firmly to stop bringing the kid over to my house to ask for the bike.

[prettybird]

Another one coming to encourage you just to say, "No".

It's plain and simple: a one-off "borrow" is ok, multiple borrowings are taking the piss.

What happens if your ds wants to play on his bike while they have it? Do you have to say to him, sorry you can't? Or do you have to go and "ask" for it back ?

You don't need to explain why you are saying No, but if you feel the need to, just say it's that it's no longer convenient.

[ClaudiaWankleman]

The Spanish are well known for their laid back attitude to bike ownership.

[wizzywig]

Ask to borrow her car every day. And dont fill it with petrol

[littlethingsthatbug]

I dont think I could say No to the 3 year old to be honest. This is emotional extortion though you feel obliged to lend the bike upon the little girl's request and you probably feel guilty saying no even though it's well within your rights to. The nanny knows this thats why she isnt the one asking and the little girl is the one made to ask.

Its the nanny that needs to be told! Followed by the 3 year old or leave it upto the nanny to explain to her. I would say to the nanny I want to talk before you go this time, then I may then say yes to the little one but then take the nanny to one side and explain I want it to stop and this will be the last time.

If you're fed up with it full stop then say this is the last time, if you dont mind her having the pleasure out of it say once a week then say a day and thats they day they can borrow it and ask them not to call for it any other time it's that day or nothing.

[Beeziekn33ze]

Norbert - Good thinking!
Or, when your youngest outgrows the bike, take it to a charity shop in the next suburb, town. When you have a nice shiny new one charmingly explain that your DS loves his new bike so much that he doesn't want to lend it. And keep it somewhere out of nanny and 3 year old's view.

[Beeziekn33ze]

Or put it on eBay!

[EveryoneElsie]

Its emotional blackmail.
I wouldnt trust the nanny with my kids. If she cant say no what else cant she deal with.

Go talk to the parents and explain they need to buy their kids a bike.

[NannawifeofBaldr]

*littlethings^ why couldn't you say 'no' to a three year old? Would you say no if they asked to play with your expensive handbag or engagement ring?

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

Have they been by today yet? What's happened? eagerly awaiting updates

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Another vote for "my dc is selling the bike, we thought you would like first refusal as your kid likes it so much"

Then get a replacement with the money they buy it with.