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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who would say that???

134 replies

onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 21:18

So today, a woman I've never met comes round to pick up something she's bought from me online. She says ' oh I recognise you, I run down such and such lane, and I've seen you with your daughter'. I say I don't have a daughter. That's my boss, and she's 38, and I'm only 46, but thanks'. Aibu to think, she is a rude cock?

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 22/05/2016 21:53

My niece asked me today if I was gran's sister Sad
I feel your pain, have a very ageing Wine to cheer you up.

AugustaFinkNottle · 22/05/2016 21:53

Had she seen your boss with her daughter and thought it was you with your daughter? That's how I read it, and I think it's how others did too.

How could you possibly read it like that? It seems to me perfectly clear - she saw OP with another woman, she assumed other woman was OP's daughter, other woman is only 8 years younger than OP, therefore she was saying OP looks older than she is.

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 21:55

I just think it's best not to assume things. Especially how old people are. It is rude

OP posts:
Gabilan · 22/05/2016 21:55

Your OP isn't clear at all

I thought it was perfectly clear. I've become a lot more confused since.

MrsSpecter · 22/05/2016 21:56

therefore she was saying OP looks older than she is

Or other woman looks younger than she is.

IonaNE · 22/05/2016 21:57

YABU to have a "mini breakdown" following a comment from someone you'd known for 5 mins and who is probably not going to play any major part in your life. Your peace of mind can't depend to this extent on what every Tom, Dick and Harry says.

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 21:58

A lot of you are missing the point. Of course it's not her fault if I am a wrinkled old hag, but she made an assumption of my age in the course of a 5 minute conversation , and voiced it. That is rude.

OP posts:
cbigs · 22/05/2016 21:58

At my daughters fourth birthday party my dad's friend said will you ask your grandad to push us on the swings? And pointed at my dp . He was 38 . GrinGrin I fucking wet myself . derails thread/misses point of aibu

JeffFromTheDailyMail · 22/05/2016 22:02

Bloody hell, OP, YANBU to be offended. Great slightly rude comeback, I would've gone home and wept into a pillow. Can't believe the responses on here, apparently fine to call someone old but the thread about people being mistakenly called pregnant had everyone up in arms. at least all the walking down her lane will most likely stop anyone making that mistake at your age Wink

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:03
Wink
OP posts:
Chillyegg · 22/05/2016 22:10

Ok I read it as she'd mistaken you for the women who was 36 and had a daughter. Apologies.
Still though unless this women looked like shreck and had the personality of Jeremy Hunt,David Cameron and Hitler. Then not too much to get worked up about to be honest.

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2016 22:10

No, she wasn't rude.

Anyway, you're assuming it means you look old for your age, when perhaps your boss just looks younger in her eyes?

VestalVirgin · 22/05/2016 22:13

Funnily enough, the same happened to me when I was seen with a friend who is perhaps ten years older than me.

She was flattered that the person thought she had managed the feat of raising such a nice daughter. (I do look much younger than I am)

I wouldn't ever assume people's relation to anyone, because it is a sure way to offend someone, but I don't think she meant to be rude. Some people just don't know how to be careful. Wink

Your boss might be offended that she was considered to be only twenty. I know some people who suffer from "small stature and youthful face syndrome" and it is a problem in professional life.

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:18

When making small talk, never make assumptions, coz you can bet your arse, it can get big pretty quick. It doesn't matter if you know you'll never see them again, it feckin hurts

OP posts:
Sandbrook · 22/05/2016 22:25

Silly mistake on her part, pay no heed.

Perfectly clear OP btw

FuckingMother · 22/05/2016 22:27

Maybe your boss is fresh faced and lovely. And you look normal and tired? I was mistaken for my sister's daughter recently. She is 47 I am 44. I had a little internal preen but was externally very surprised at the shop assistant's poor eyesight!

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:28

Tar very much. Clearly not past it yetWink

OP posts:
FuckingMother · 22/05/2016 22:28

I am often mistaken for being pregnant. It is irritating.

WriteforFun1 · 22/05/2016 22:31

I'm with you OP
My poor dad got asked about his "grand daughter" when I collected him from the office once. He was very sad. But often people look and don't see so please don't think you look old enough to be the mother of your boss. Probably just this woman making ASSumptions.

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:34

Thank you. As I said she's not a cock, but she made me feel terrible. Hi hum

OP posts:
PiePiePie · 22/05/2016 22:36

You could look like a regular 46yo and easily have an adult daughter so YABU to assume she thinks you're old as the hills. If she just caught a quick glimpse of you and boss in your garden while running I can understand how she assumed a domestic context for your relationship.

I'd ask your boss what moisturiser she uses though.

Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:37

*Ho

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyslightlyinterested · 22/05/2016 22:39

Point being missed all over

OP posts:
Foofoobum · 22/05/2016 22:42

I haven't seen either of you so can't comment on looks but I'm 40 and am regularly id'd for lottery tickets (oh the shame they're not even for me they're for my Grandad!) so it would be entirely possible for me to look like the daughter of someone my own age or younger.
I think it's daft to get offended, the woman was only trying to make polite conversation and for all we know she could be Mrs magoo

TheWitTank · 22/05/2016 22:42

As she is running past I presume she only gets a fleeting glance and isn't staring at you both memorising every detail -she has just made an assumption based on you and your boss often being together and obviously looking like family. It doesn't mean you look bad!! Laugh it off and forget about it. I'm sure most of us have had the odd unflattering comment or misplaced compliment. A beautician once commented on my pregnancy -I'm a size 10/12 with a six pack, I was just wearing a maxi dress that hung strangely below the boobs.