To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

My DC are not teenagers yet but my eldest is coming up 10 later this summer.
We are very relaxed about nakedness, but we do not wander about the house. We are lucky enough to have an en suite in our room so I never really have any reason to be outside of our bedroom in the buff. But I am happy to be naked in my own space, I will walk out of the bathroom and stand in my room and to and fro in all my podgy glory.
My kids always wander in! When I'm actually in the shower I always have one of them insist they need to ask me something or brush their teeth etc. (We have other sinks and toilets in the house but they wash their teeth in my room! I guess that might be a first sign - if my eldest moved his toothbrush to the other bathroom!) we don't have a bath in our ES but I'm not a big bather, if I decide to have a bath they nearly always rumble me and ask if they can get in too. The answer is always no but that's because I don't want a child pissing in my Epsom salts or really want five minutes to shave my legs - not because I think it's inappropriate!
I guess my kids will lead the way when the decide they don't want to see my naked bum anymore - they'll stop pestering me in my room!!

Share, Future, when you choose to have children who will eventually grow to young adults who may be still living at home with you, then compromises need to be made all round to ensure that everyone gets on happily. To refuse to do so is arrogance in the extreme. Teenagers in particular can be very sensitive and easily embarrassed, and all the "nudity is natural" talk isn't necessarily going to have any effect. Putting or keeping on a pair of pants is not going to make a mature adult suffer, whereas the sight of ones parent in the buff could be extremely embarrassing to a young daughter or son. If you want the freedom to swan about the house starkers all the time, then you should have thought twice about having children in the first place.

I'm not prune we don't hide our bodies it's totally ok when DC are small. But there comes a time especially before pre puberty that you should start being more discreet. I would be mortified if my DF walked around naked or my DB when I was a teenager. Totally different if your in the bathroom or in your bedroom. I think he should cover up and respect your DD is not uncomfortable.

I'd agree with Hoopla. There really is no reason why your DH can't take his gym kit off in the shower, get dressed in clean clothes and then put his dirty stuff in the wash.

Also (missing the point) - he runs a whole wash just for his gym kit? Isn't that a waste of electricity?

"However someone being naked that you happen to witness isn't being done to you. They are just going about their business naked."

So a man stripping in the park is fine? A man walking down the High Street in the buff shouldn't give rise to any discomfort and anybody who feels such discomfort is simply, logically in the wrong? A male teacher who lets female pupils see him strip is perfectly in his right as long as he does not interfere with their bodily autonomy or sells pictures online?

There is a social construct saying that we do not appear naked in public places.

There is also a social construct saying that parents, and people in loco parentis, respect growing children and consider to their feelings when it comes to nakedness.

I think she needs to keep out of the way during the 30 second journey from washing machine to shower. It's unlikely he'll want to change his habits.

I'm happy to be naked around friends & family, but once teen DS started to become uncomfortable with it I stopped. I'd hate to embarrass him or give him an erection - bleurgh

DS doesn't mind if I see him naked, for example if I pop into he bathroom to grab laundry while he's in the shower - but he tends to turn so I see his bum rather than his willy

DH wanders around often with everything swinging below a t-shirt & nothing else on - DS hates it - thinks it revolting & weird

However someone being naked that you happen to witness isn't being done to you. They are just going about their business naked.

If you live in the same house as someone who regularly wanders around naked and insists on continuing when you have said you don't like it, it is being done to you. Realistically it would be impossible (and incredibly artificial) to set up a system whereby you could guarantee that OP's dd would never see her father when he's naked, and telling her to look away just wouldn't work for pretty obvious reasons.

Nudity generally fine. However I think your dp is a bully subjecting an 18yo girl to views of his genitals when she has stated it makes her uncomfortable. Fgs could he not even carry a flannel over his cock and balls on the way to the shower?

Cory my personal feelings are that public nudity should be legal, as they aren't, those things are likely being done with the intent to offend.

Taking away social constructs though there is nothing wrong with walking around naked anywhere.

Augusta it's a 30 second run to the bathroom. He can just say "I'm walking to the bathroom" and she can shut her eyes. Simple.

Pestilential, why should OP's DD have to hide away in her home? Why would it be so difficult for her father to shove on a dressing gown, or wait to undress till he reaches the shower? If you managed to change your habits to avoid distressing your DS, why shouldn't OP's DH?

And why haven't you suggested to your DH that he should follow your example to avoid revolting your son?

Agree Augusta

I cant believe people are actually thinking its ok for the dad to walk around naked. It is totally inappropriate. He is being completely selfish.

Sex is also natural.

Just because it is natural doesn't mean your teenagers are happy to see you at it.

bastards because when two people clash, the illogical one should back down.

Where do you get the "30 second run" from, Future? OP writes about her husband "wandering around" and "working his way to the shower". That sounds like a hell of a lot more than a run.

And you know that it is inevitable that there would be plenty of times when he forgot to give the warning, or his DD wouldn't hear it, or he would decide that he couldn't be bothered because he doesn't feel like changing his habits. Isn't it simpler for him to wait that 30 seconds till he gets to the bathroom before taking his clothes off?

Bollox to that if my dc's feelings are involved.

Empathy and emotion do play a part in our family.

Before anyone suggests otherwise, I am not saying nudity is sexual. I am saying if nudity is ok because it is natural, that argument could logically be extended to cover actions such as sex.

I've just shown this thread to my 17 yr old dd. Her immediate reaction oh yuk gross why would anyone want to see their Dad's cock, I would die of embarrassment.

Future Are you always this inconsiderate of other people's feelings?

Why should the dad's wants (because they certainly aren't needs) trump the discomfort of his teenager?

Isn't this just one of those 'choose your battles' moments? It seems like a bigger deal is being made of something that can be compromised on-surely a skill both father and daughter have? It isn't about who is right and who is wrong. For example, I don't feel comfortable walking around my house naked, my husband does. It doesn't mean one of us is correct, it's just that everyone has different feelings. In this case, I think the easiest compromise, surely, is that you husband takes his clothes off in the bathroom and takes them to the washer after his shower? That isn't because his feelings aren't important or your daughters trump his it's just because it's the easiest solution. I may have missed it in the thread as I skipped the troll hunting parts but would your husband honestly not feel uncomfortable if your daughter walked around naked? I suspect he would even if he won't admit it. Fwiw I think it's actually very mature of your daughter to articulate feeling uncomfortable sensibly rather than making a wailing scene about how gross she finds it....

Yes is unacceptable especially when it is making them uncomfortable. He sounds a bit of exhibitionist tbh.