To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

Jaorah: yes i left home at 16, i wouldnt say it totally fucked up my life but it was very difficult. I didnt mean to say they should kick her out or that she should definately leave just that she should realise that it is in fact their home and they are being supportive in allowing her to live there, she is lucky to have parents who are there for her. I think the least she can do in return is not dictate to them what they must wear to walk between the bathroom and bedroom. They are all now adults and should respect each others choices as adults.

It's ok Mistress. You don't have to.

Unless you are his daughter.

House
In my world it would be unwanted for an 18 year old girl to leave home just to get away, out of desperation .

Yes, she could legally leave home. Yes, she could get a job and share a room with a stranger to afford the rent. Yes, she could give up plans for university.... to get away from her father. But that is not what many people intend for their children.

The only acceptable alternative would be to go to live with a relative.

In my circle of friends/acquaintances it would also be considered very unpleasant not to respect a person in the house's wishes over nudity.

I have very sympathy with the girl as I also think the issue of nudity is to do with personal boundaries, the most fundamental one being related to bodies. This nudity may be symbolical to her. Who knows what is going on her life? If her father won't listen it is effectively very unpleasant of him to the point of abuse.

Even meat eaters in families with vegetarian children try to compromise and not push meat in front of them. But important though the issue of bloody meat in the home may be to a vegetarian, it is still not in the same category as the unwelcome nudity of a father with his daughter.

What if she were to go and live in a flat with a flat mate who asserted his rights? She would need to leave then too in a hurry. But this is supposed to be her own loving father being asked to put a dressing gown on.

Some posters seem unclear about what the love and respect of an older person towards their child might mean.

Thank you Larry.

I think people aren't able to see past the social conditioning.

Isn't that lovely, Cold?

I have read a lot of reasons for kicking a kid out of the house on MN, but I never thought not wanting to see your dads balls would be one of them.

How fucking low can you get?

Has the world gone stark naked raving mad?

No teenage girl should have to put up with the sight of her dad's meat and two veg on a frequent basis just because he likes to stride about the house in the altogether.

I've consulted two family members on this ( who by sheer chance happen to be a girl of 17 and her dad). Both say he should cover up. Well, actually, one of them said "AAAARGHHHH!!!! Eeeewww that's gross!!!!", and the other said "Mmmm - no... something a bit odd about somebody wanting to do that in front of their grown-up daughter".

So there you have it. No. Wrong. Ugh.

OP why don't you just put the laundry basket in the bathroom?

MistressMerry, I absolutely agree that, if I were staying in a house where the host's gym routine involved me getting an eyeful of his balls I would expect him to forego it. However, given that that is entirely avoidable, I would be perfectly happy with him carrying on with the gym thing.

But...but how could it be avoided Augusta

obviously he doesnt feel it is minor or he would do as she says.

Again, we don't know that, House, do we? He may be unwilling to do as she asks because he thinks that waving his bits around his daughter is a minor thing; or because he doesn't care that it upsets her; or because his view is "My house my roolz"; or because he doesn't like women getting their way; or just because he's a man of habit and doesn't want to change his habits. However, he can't think it's that important to preserve his right to nudity, otherwise he'd carry on when there are house guests around.

Oh, but their responses are just social conditioning, dodobookends.

It's probably best for them both if he does walk about naked, who cares if it makes them uncomfortable? They should simply look into why it does.

Like any teenager wants to think about that.

Coldlight, it can be avoided by him keeping his clothes on till he gets to the bathroom, surely?

Is it social conditioning though? Is it entirely?

I think the least she can do in return is not dictate to them what they must wear to walk between the bathroom and bedroom.

As pointed out, it's considerably more than the walk between the bathroom and bedroom. And she's not dictating to them what they must wear. She's simply asking them to wear something when she's around. Which, as they wear something the majority of the time, is hardly a dreadful imposition.

but, but Augusta the POOR MAN. That is a BIG ASK,no? Keeping his penis all covered up in those sweaty pants?

He has THE RIGHT FOR HIS COCK TO BE FREEEEEEEEEE.

Coldlight, it's Future who says it's nothing but social conditioning, better ask her. She's unable to contemplate the possibility that the daughter may have very valid reasons that aren't social conditioning.

And, of course, even if it is just social conditioning - so what? If the daughter's distressed, her father would have to be a bit of a twat to decide that doesn't matter just because it's caused by social conditioning.

No it's not Cold. Not in the sense people are trying to portray it.

Yes, as a society we don't think it's normal for a father to be naked around their teenage/grown up daughters.

And thank ruddy fuck for that.

Is it social conditioning though? Is it entirely?

Why would any man want to walk around naked in front of a teenage girl? Would it be acceptable if he were her stepdad, uncle, grandad doing the flashing?

Is a set of dangly bits a pretty sight? No. FFS. People are suggesting she moves out. For Christ's sake get a grip.

I'm wondering if some of the uncomfortable feelings that pre teens/ teens often get around nudity with parents/siblings might be more fundamental than social conditioning.

I could be wrong though

Social conditioning like that promoting getting married; or laws against sex with people younger than 16.

Some people genuinely think laws against paedophilia are just the result of social conditioning. Or that those against incest are.

It does not matter why the daughter feels as she does anyway.

AugustaFinkNottle: i cn make that assumption because of what the OP says. It sounds like they have slightly alternative views and that for her DP this may be more of a moral issue.

If he carries on despite her stating she feels uncomfortable, it feels a bit perverted.

It's a form of abuse.
If a parent carries on exposing themselves, despite the knowledge they know it's making their children uncomfortable, then they are basically being abusive.
And shou8ld be reported.

I agree with you kind. But it's interesting.

Cold I think it is. Looking at it objectively, why is a clean naked body off putting? It is only off putting because society has sexualised it and made it also something to be covered up.

Look at animals in the wild. You do not see them crafting pants out of leaves.

Obviously we have far more awareness but the point is covering your body is not "natural" it's purely social