To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

Statistically speaking at some stage we have to be and more frequently.

Hell

Society is often wrong. Society as a whole is stupid. So that is irrelevant.

Walking around naked in your own home without any intent to cause alarm or distress (as the OP indicates is the case with her DH) is not indecent exposure.

Simon I support public nudity. Just because someone doesn't want to see it shouldn't influence people's choice of dress.

No, it isn't irrelevant. We all live in society and we are all governed by the law.

I do understand the POV that a naked person isn't inherently harmful. But I don't understand why a dad is being so inconsiderate of his child.

Also, it isn't illegal to walk down the street naked per se. If your actions in public cause others alarm or distress there is an offense under the public order act. But only if someone is actually caused alarm or distress, not if they are a bit uncomfortable. And the public order act doesn't apply in your own home.

Boom

The DH obviously is causing his DD alarm and distress though!

It probably wouldn't be a crime, no, though it might be different if an exchange student saw him.

My inlaws thought so, me too.

I think if it was the 18 year old walking from whatever room to the shower it would be fine if the Dad was uncomfortable with it? And that wouldn't mean he was a perv or claiming dominance in some way?.

I was about 6/7 and climbing on a kitchen work surface in an undignified manner in a short nightie and no knickers when my Dad said 'put some pants on love'.

I didn't feel shamed or that nudity was shameful, just that my Dad didn't want to see that part of me.

Well futures most peop,e would disagree.

I'm all for nudity and Happily strip off on nudist beaches. But I'm considerate of other people and I do let their feelings influence my behaviour. So I don't walk round my village naked even if I might prefer to on a hot day.

I'm glad most people in society also feel like this rather than doing whatever the hell they want no matter if it upsets people.

'But it's emotionally harming his daughter. She is upset by it.'

That is not necessarily true. I am upset by the way my children eat (they are quite small still). I am not emotionally harmed by it.

The automatic assumption that as soon as anyone is 'upset', they are traumatised and emotionally damaged is not a good one, but all too prevalent these days. She may just be plain 'upset'. He also may be 'upset' that he is no longer able to move about freely in his house the way he has been for the past 18+ years. Is he being emotionally harmed? This works both ways.

There's nothing wrong with being naked around DC, however if it is making them uncomfortable and they have asked him to stop then that's a different matter. And I don't agree with the "its our house" comment - it's their home as well, and especially while they are this age they don't have many options otherwise, so I don't feel there shouldn't be consideration of their feelings.

If it were me I would keep nudity to bedrooms and bathrooms (with possible exceptions for a quick dash between).

Also meant to add: why are guests given more consideration?

AHell being "uncomfortable" which is how the OP characterizes her DD's feelings is not alarm or distress. Thank goodness. Or people would be being arrested every day for things like gay kissing in public, or breast feeding, or wearing stripes and plaid at the same time.

I can't see why this is a problem. There is a natural time when a lot of children are uncomfortable with it so you simply respect that and don't do it. She won't be at home forever and when she isn't there you can revert.
DH and I wander around naked if we are alone i.e. Most of the time BUT if anyone is visiting we don't.

Hmm.

OP hasn't posted much so we don't have much detail about the conversations that have happened on this.

Anyway, I don't consider "not crossing into illegality" as a great standard for harmonious family relations!

Boom and Larry well said

AHell And it wouldn't be different if an exchange student (or a guest) saw him since he's in his own home so the public order act doesn't apply. He'd only be guilty of a crime (indecent exposure) if he was intending to cause alarm or distress by exposing his genitles, which according to the OP, he isn't. Though an exchange student from a culture that wasn't OK with casual nudity may not like the situation and would be free to leave, which might be reason enough to cover up, or not.

"Or people would be being arrested every day for things like gay kissing in public, or breast feeding, or wearing stripes and plaid at the same time"

That's utter rubbish, though, because even if someone was alarmed or distressed by seeing the above, no law would be broken.

Ahell,

Hence the use of 'would'. It is a conditional tense.

Good luck explaining to the police that your DP didn't intend to cause alarm when they walk around naked in front of the au pair/foreign exchange student. Can't see that going down too well. Nor should it.
I would be extremely concerned if my DD went on an exchange visit and the father of the household stripped off in front of her. Sorry, it's just blindingly obviously wrong. Sod the nudist's freedom!

How many people posting on this thread actually have a 17/18 year old dd?
I do.

This girl is 18 and has voiced her concerns, but we don't know for how long she has felt this way. She might have been uncomfortable about it for years, and has only just plucked up the courage to say something about it. For all we know, her sibling(s) may have hated it for years as well, but just haven't said anything because they were too embarrassed.

So her dad has always walked around the house naked and he doesn't want to change. Well, she probably walked around in her birthday suit too - when she was smaller. I don't suppose she does now.

Would it be all right for her dad to walk into her bedroom or the bathroom if she was starkers, and expect her to be fine with it, on the basis that he always used to, so why should she be bothered now she's 18?