Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Cancelling a week before wedding

140 replies

GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 10:56

I am fuming for my sister-her wedding is a week today and a guest has cancelled due to a football match

They said cant be helped we're in the play offs-They RSVP'd months ago and have no cancelled a week before the wedding

They were all day guests him and his son

I think its completely out of order and he doesnt even seem bothered

More of a rant really but im not being unreasonable am i?

OP posts:

Janeymoo50 · 21/05/2016 19:42

A family wedding is "a once in a life time event" (well, mostly 😊).
Cancelled for a footie match, it's unfair and heartless to the party who have no doubt scrimped and saved, planned etc for months (years maybe) to only have people cancel a week before. I'd rather they "called in sick" than know a sporting event is more important.

GrumpyOldBag · 21/05/2016 19:50

It's a bit rude, but not unusual. At least he had the courtesy to let you know in reasonable time. several people cancelled my wedding for various reasons going right up to the day before - after we'd already paid the caterers £40 a head for their food.
It happens.

Janecc · 21/05/2016 19:53

I can totally see U2's argument, however, for me, this is a wider issue and part of the break down of community in general. As human beings we can be so very selfish and narcissistic. I'm going to agree to disagree with U2. For me, the adult made a commitment for the family and that should be come hell or highwater. Family won't be there for you if you're not there for them and there could be far reaching ramifications for the parent and child missing the wedding.

Sallystyle · 21/05/2016 19:59

A one off sporting event is more important to die hard sporting fans than a wedding. I'm not sure why that is hurtful, unless that person is your mum or something.

I would offer to cover my costs but like I said, anyone who knows my children would know how important the match is for them and would give me their blessing. I know I would do the same for someone else.

A wedding is usually a once in a life time event yes, but it's only ever really important to the couple getting married and not many people dream of going to a wedding, it's not their big dream is it?

I hardly think it is heartless. I think it would be more heartless to tell my children they can't go. Especially when their dad who did all the football stuff with them died and they really miss having someone who enjoys football like he does, they find that hard every time their team plays. Missing a huge Wembley match would be another kick in the teeth for them, so if it's heartless to put my children's dreams first then I guess I'm heartless.

Either way someone is going to be disappointed . I would choose a bride being disappointed over my children being broken hearted over not being able to live their dream. God knows why it means so much to them but it does.

Anyway.. I'm just repeating myself :)

GeekyWombat · 21/05/2016 20:36

I'd rather someone cancelled with a week to go than not turn up on the day. At our wedding we had a couple not turn up and not contact to explain why. Ten days after the event my husband's friend texted him to say she was sorry they hadn't come but her husband had been ill after a night out the previous evening and when she'd got in the car to come on her own she realised the car needed petrol and she didn't feel confident filling the car.

I'd rather have known and given their meals to one of our evening guests who has been left out because of tight numbers!

DailyMailFodder · 21/05/2016 22:41

I suspect my DH would have missed his own wedding day for a similar sporting event.

Iflyaway · 21/05/2016 22:48

Both of you sound too precious.

We all have a life you know, and really, weddings are more about me, me, me without taking into account other people's priorities.

Who cares. Most of them will be divorced sooner or later anyway...

There's more to this than you are letting on.....

UptownFunk00 · 21/05/2016 23:02

YANBU, or should I say your sister isn't.

My "friend" didn't even tell me on the day he wasn't coming and didn't apologise for this and kicked off when I told my mutual friend I wasn't impressed by it - ex friend now, obviously.

For the sake of her sanity I'd let it go but know he's not reliable in the future.

BillSykesDog · 21/05/2016 23:05

OP, do a lot of people in your family support this team? If so, have you considered showing the match as part of the reception?

My SIL got married on the day Ireland played Italy in the 1994 World Cup (they're Irish). They were really worried people wouldn't turn up or would slope off to watch. So they put big screens up in the reception room. Everybody came, a lot of blokes who would have wriggled out came when they said that.

And Ireland beat Italy. I have to say that it has gone down almost unanimously as the best ever wedding in our family and hasn't been beaten in 22 years!

ForalltheSaints · 22/05/2016 11:51

If it is AFC Wimbledon and their first ever appearance at Wembley then if I had been them I would have cancelled, politely of course.

Can't they appear in the evening?

Original poster

GabsAlot · 22/05/2016 19:45

i think its too far for them to travel later on

i thinkits only him that supports the team she wouldnt show it at her reception anyway

OP posts:

maggiethemagpie · 24/05/2016 19:58

I had 6 people cancel on me before my wedding. 2 were DP's neice and nephew, his sister never even told us they weren't coming, I found out from his mother the evening before. At £90 a head!

I think it is terribly rude. Some people just don't think or realise that these things cost per head usually, and it's hard to get a refund on numbers last minute.

Not sure what you or your sister can do about it.

Original poster

GabsAlot · 31/05/2016 23:47

just to update

had a great day my sister looked beautiful as did my niece and nephew

good tie had by all

and the cousins team lost-im not laughing honest ;)

OP posts:

TendonQueen · 01/06/2016 02:04

All sounds good! Nice to hear it went well.

doozie90 · 01/06/2016 02:08

I had all day guests cancelling at 11pm the night before

It shows you who your true friends (or in this case, family) really are.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6