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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cancelling a week before wedding

140 replies

GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 10:56

I am fuming for my sister-her wedding is a week today and a guest has cancelled due to a football match

They said cant be helped we're in the play offs-They RSVP'd months ago and have no cancelled a week before the wedding

They were all day guests him and his son

I think its completely out of order and he doesnt even seem bothered

More of a rant really but im not being unreasonable am i?

OP posts:
superram · 21/05/2016 11:19

It is rude but having postponed my flight to next Sunday (just in case, they got knocked out :( ) rather that Saturday I understand why they have done it. Not much opportunity for sheff wed fans to go to Wembley recently so unless it was half my guests I wouldn't care less and invite someone else.

SlimCheesy · 21/05/2016 11:19

I wish my BILs x 2 had told us they were not coming a week before. One went to Majorca for a holiday (that we assume he knew about) and the other one could not be arsed, but to be fair he never comes to anything family-related..... I've been with DH 13 years and never met him- he did not come to his own PILs funeral.

I'd either try and shoehorn someone else in who will be delighted to be invited, or re-confirm numbers with the venue if possible.

Samcro · 21/05/2016 11:19

yanbu really rude.

TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain · 21/05/2016 11:19

Insanely rude, you don't accept invitations to somewhere then ditch it when something you deem better comes along - especially if it's somewhere where people have paid money for your meals and attendance!

TendonQueen · 21/05/2016 11:21

That's rude. It costs couples to have people dropping out last minute. Hopefully they can add in extras to salvage that.

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2016 11:22

Theres a week to let the venue know there will be two less eating.

Original poster
GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 11:22

exactly my thought twirls-so because his team are on the play offs that deems it acceptable to just cancel things youve comitted to?

i woldnt dream of it i missed a concert once of my fave singer to go to a wedding had a greattime but wouldnt have dreamed of just cancelling

OP posts:
VegasIsBest · 21/05/2016 11:24

To be fair having a trip to Wembley with their team would be more important to most teenagers than a cousin's wedding.

Original poster
GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 11:25

i guess vegas (love the name btw) the kid though prob shouldnt be put in the situation i think its teaching him the wrong thing

OP posts:
Original poster
GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 11:27

just spoken to her she cant bump anyone as its one adult one child and eveyrone else is couples plus children

OP posts:
DailyMailFodder · 21/05/2016 11:28

I think it's very rude but at least they told your sister.

However, I'd be glad that someone who wasn't that bothered wasn't there. I'd hate to think people were attending my wedding just because they think they 'should' rather than because they wanted to IYSWIM

I wouldn't bother with the 'fuming'. - I'd go for being a bit dissapointed.

HungryHorace · 21/05/2016 11:29

I'm sure the venue will allow them to pay the bit extra for an adult rather than child.

Even if we'd told the venue that we had fewer people eating we wouldn't have received a refund, as we had to confirm numbers 2 months beforehand, and pay the final balance.

I'm sure they'd allow a 'top up' however.

blueskyinmarch · 21/05/2016 11:30

My DH’s cousin cancelled on our wedding because the team he supports made it through to an important final. We knew how football mad he was and just shrugged and laughed. It was not a big deal.

I am guessing the 11 yo was probably less than thrilled at going to a wedding and wanted to go to the match. It might be a bit off but isn’t the end of the world.

Baggiegirl · 21/05/2016 11:32

I can understand your sister's upset. However to be fair for an 11 year old boy seeing his team play at Wembley will be a dream come true. And the playoffs are not like other events where they would have known months ago they would be going. Perhaps I'm biased here though having spent years not booking things for that particular weekend just in case this was the year we got to Wembley.

Original poster
GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 11:33

not sure about upgrading downgrading id get but it means paying out more i'll ask her

anyway on the bright side my husband cant stand him so he'll be pleased!

OP posts:
Friolero · 21/05/2016 11:34

It's extremely rude, I wouldn't be impressed either. But then I don't get the hysteria over football, it's only a game!

EweAreHere · 21/05/2016 11:37

If it's just the team they support, yes, they're being spectacularly rude and ridiculous for cancelling, but nothing you can do about it. There is such a thing as news updates.

If they're playing (himself or his child), well, I feel for them, frankly. Surely their team is depending upon him/child as well, and they didn't know they'd get that bar.

Regardless, you need to calm down and not make a big fuss over something that really has very little to do with you. And don't wind your sister up over it, which you could well do if you carry on about it.

Original poster
GabsAlot · 21/05/2016 11:38

baggie i get it its a big thing for them especially the kid-its just his attitude doesnt make any effort the rest of the time either

theyve been to wembley before to see them

OP posts:
HappyNevertheless · 21/05/2016 11:38

Well what I would be bothered about is the fact they are saying that football is more important than your dsis.

So yes, I wouldn't just be upset. I would look again at the whole relationship.

KitKat1985 · 21/05/2016 11:39

Am I the only one who thought the thread would be about someone cancelling their own wedding a week before?

Anyway, yes it's rude. 3 of our guests just never showed up on the day, and there was no way we could re-coup the costs, and we'd paid about £25 a head for each of them for food and drink in advance. Angry Still there's nothing that can be done about it.

HappyNevertheless · 21/05/2016 11:40

I wouldn't want to be the one invited just a week before to 'make up the numbers' TBH.
Yes that's two places paid for nothing.

RockMeMomma · 21/05/2016 11:42

I would amend the no. of guests with the venue. At least he gave her a weeks notice.

DadOnIce · 21/05/2016 11:43

It's rude. I'd also assumed the son was a key player and therefore could not miss an important match. They are just watching? FFS, won't it be on telly?

The whole "we" thing with football drives me insane. Here's Mitchell and Webb getting it exactly:

IamaBluebird · 21/05/2016 11:43

Hope you all have a lovely day at the wedding. To be fair to your cousin he wouldn't have known that he'd be making the play offs when he accepted your sisters invitation. Hope the sun shines for you and your sister has a brilliant day. Flowers

justmyview · 21/05/2016 11:47

Very surprised so many people on here think it's acceptable to cancel at a week's notice to watch a football game. V rude.