Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP, you have asked if YWBU, many many people said you were, yet you are still arguing the toss about it. It doesn't matter how few people were in there. Someone was obviously disturbed. It doesn't matter if it was only 5 minutes, so other people who need to stretch their legs for other health reasons all get 5 minutes in business class? No they don't. You shouldn't have been in there. You are being a bit dramatic about the way you are talking about it too, manhandled? Less than human? Seriously you need to move on.

I only agree that the FA was rude, he could have put it much better. However, he was technically correct.

Fireside - if OP had paid business class then she would still have been pacing the aisles and causing the same amount of disturbance. So it's NOT about Most of those people in bc were probably business men and women trying to get some work done on a flight their employers had paid for. It is about people getting huffy about a poor interloper - and the fact that the FA told her she was disturbing "people who paid more than her" says it all really. You can keep telling yourself that it's not about exclusivity but you'd be wrong.

Do flight attendants know who has been bumped and who has paid? I doubt it.

Did I miss the bit where you were in labour? You state you were having contractions. I had braxton hicks from 20 weeks with DC2, I hardly counted that as contractions. You seem overly dramatic tbh.

You're making it sound more than it is. He touched your arm. They do that all the time. I highly doubt you'd be so offended by it if he had done it to escort you in to Business Class.

OP, do you think they should have opened the door and allowed everyone with swollen ankles to walk up and down BC?

Did you read my list of people who are more prone to DVT, posted at 10:28:11?

Do you think all of them should have been allowed to walk up and down in business class?

Op I asked before but it was buried in the middle of loads of replies! Who put you on bedrest and are you ok now?

This is one of these AIBU? 'Yes' 'no, I'm not' Righto then.

I'm sorry but I can't get worked up about the fact that others might have more money than me and be able to pay for the nicer things in life. I will never be able to afford anything other than economy class and that's ok. Resenting people because they have a better lifestyle is pointless and surely it's much healthier to accept that there will be many places I won't see the inside of, bc on a plane being one of them.

Yes I noticed he put his hand on my arm, was changed to manhandled by a poster earlier in the thread.

Why?? What's the point in doing that?

No strange man is allowed to touch my body without my permission - i think it's a pretty basic right tbf!

OP, the FA was rude and could have handled the situation more diplomatically. YANBU to be upset about his reaction.

But that said, YWBU to be wandering around business class. We book seats in UC/BC for extra space and more quiet. It disrupts it slightly if any passenger could wander down whenever they felt like it.

If he had touched her arm to take her in to Business Class I bet the description would be 'kindly escorted'.

its not funny. but that "huffing and puffing" comment made me giggle.

I would like some to try this same activity and make mooing/grunting noises, just for the craic.

Ok, Pie. Yes, I am making it up that a man inappropriately put his hands on me. Please feel free to disbelieve me - and all other women, pregnant or no, that feel upset they have experienced ill treatment or abuse and want to ask other women about it, or get some support. Our version of events should always be questioned and we should be ridiculed and disbelieved, even by other women, and we should be labelled 'entitled' for needing some understanding.

As I've said, I will never be repeating this experience because it was truly horrible and very distressing. Thank you to those who have been comforting, though.

Even if you were not allowed to be in Business Class, the FA's attitude was terrible. He could have told you to leave the area in a much nicer and discreet way, there was no need for him to mention there were passengers who "paid more than you", etc . I would complain about his attitude.
I fly economy or business, and honestly, I find some Business Class/1st class crew really arrogant. Once I asked a FA to help me put my bag in the overhead compartment (I'm quite short), and he went "Sorry, I'm the Business Class FA; you will have to ask someone else"

I'm just astounded that people think that putting up with someone walking by is a major act of self-sacrifice.

There was me thinking the compassionate thing to do would be to give up your business class seat and let the sick person have it.

God help us if we ever get into a political situation that requires the same levels of sacrifices that previous generations showed in wartime.

why can I not post

Those who have been comforting? Sorry op but you posted for opinions, people gave them. Your choice to switch to more emotive language after your initial post made people question whether it went down exactly as you described.

Flight attendants will touch people if they need to. If they need to wake someone up or accidentally as they are trying to put something in the overhead lockers or whatever.

Humans touching other humans really shouldn't bee seen as that big a deal, it's not nice to think we're living in a world where someone might be so offended by another persons touch in a normal, unthreatening situation that we should all go around ensuring we never make contact with anyone.

I don't get this 'man touching a pregnant woman' thing either. Men are not all aggressive a users out to hurt people, and women, including pregnant ones, are not such delicate little flowers that they need to be protected from normal human interaction.

And I don't think anyone is resenting that some people have more money than others. If I was travelling without kids and had the spare cash I would absolutely pay extra for business class - if I was properly loaded I would even go first class - fuck it I'd get my own private jet!! That was never my point.

My point is that people need to stop kidding themselves that their reactions are about the poor folk in BC being disturbed.

which was it 'contractions' or 'braxton hicks'

I am sure if you where in labour the airline staff would have been nothing but helpful

You where BU to wander into BC and you know it - and it was't some 'strange man' it was a member of staff doing his job

As I said before I was led out of BC back to my seat by my elbow (just touching it lightly ) by the air steward so it must be plane protocol when dealing with rogue passengers in the wrong area . There must be someone on here that's worked for an airline? I've had loads quite rude air stewards / stewardesses I thought it was just a thing that they are pretty rude . Imagine all the chancers they have trying to get into BC etc I wouldn't worry about it , use another airline in future (was it virgin as I flew with them when I was moved back to my seat ha ?)
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy hope you feel better soon

Do flight attendants know who has been bumped and who has paid? I doubt it

I believe so, yes. Each flight has a passenger manifest which is handed over by the gate agent once the flight is fully boarded, and I'm told the seat allocation details are on that

Probably it's a safety thing, since if the worst happens they need to know where someone was on the aircraft as opposed to where they were originally meant to be ... though I don't know how that works when there are spare seats in EC which folk move into

You were out of order ..... everyone thinks you were out of order but you don't agree. Hey ho....