Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

You just wanted someone to offer you a business class seat, didn't you OP. And thought if you hung around long enough looking desperately pregnant that they give you one!

Fucking hell inspector cludo do you want a gold star or a blue Peter badge for your detective and psychoanalysis skills!

Your comments are disgraceful, what a lovely way to talk about a pregnant woman who was ill on a flight. I'm always amazed by the absolute and utter lack of humanity some people show on here.

What the actual fuck.

I can't believe people are defending the rude tosser flight attendant.

I am always astonished by the nastiness towards pregnant women on mumsnet (of all places) who seek even the most minor accommodation.

You'd have to be a total arsehole to begrudge a pregnant woman walking through the aisle next to you in a plane. Jesus wept.

OP, YANBU.

(And before anyone starts: I've flown business class often. And I've never been pregnant in my life. I just have some fucking human empathy.)

I think suffering is going a bit far. The op had swollen ankles.

Yes the FA was very rude, it would have been much more of an expense and hassle for both crew and passengers if the flight had to be diverted so that you could receive medical treatment, as you could not exercise properly.

You said that you had to get the flight for family reasons, how far gone were you. Obviously there is a limit to which you cannot fly if you were pregnant.

Well, it wasn't an emergency holly and there is an equally walkable aisle in economy, so she should have stayed in the section she paid for.

I walked down all the aisles. The EC ones are harder, though, because they are far narrower and people have feet sticking out etc. No barriers, so tbh I was so uncomfortable I didn't care where I was.

Ooops, posted too soon in my rage on your behalf! Wanted to add: The wealthy owe consideration and empathy just as much as the poor. But there are studies that say that wealth reduces compassion - and I often think some areas of Mumsnet prove that point.

www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-reduces-compassion/

The flight attendant does sound rude however op you sound dramatic and dare I say it, a little entitled. Just because you had swollen feet with pregnancy does not mean you were able to walk into other sections. They had to ask you to leave.

I mean seriously it's not that big of a deal, just forget it and move on.

'Suffering'

There are some really nasty replies on here, there really are.

Well, I wouldn't say he treated you as "less than human", but he was rude and officious by the sound of it. I appreciate he has to enforce the (IMO utterly ridiculous) rules, but he could have been kinder and more tactful.

I fly quite frequently, and the segregation by class never fails to amuse me. Not just the economy/economy plus/business class/business premium/first class but also the announcements of "We now invite our Platinum Plus, Gold Medal, and Superstar passengers to board." It's all so silly. There is no real reason for the OP not to stretch her legs in The Forbidden Zone, aside from the arbitrary rules that airlines have laid down. If another passenger actually complained about her, that person should be thoroughly ashamed of him/herself.

Buttons, op could have had DVT if she could not exercise properly. There are some really heartless people on here.

This is not a wealthy against the poor issue. My daughter's partner got bumped to bc and he is as far from wealthy as you could imagine. Most of those people in bc were probably business men and women trying to get some work done on a flight their employers had paid for.

It just had to turn into a class thing, didn't it.

YANBU OP if there's any time women need to be given a break its when pregnant. I used to commute to work on the train and would sit in first class if there were no seats in standard - I would politely ask the guard if he was nearby (who always said yes) but otherwise just took a seat in first class and nobody said anything. I don't see how less than 5 minutes waking up and down the aisle is a nuisance at all. I am surprised you weren't offered an upgrade if BC wasn't full.

Yes you were wrong - try not to dwell on it - perhaps write a letter of complaint about the Steward manhandling and be done with it. - You don't know the people involved personally so no point in wasting any brain space thinking about it anymore.

Just a thought, but I wonder if FA's are perhaps a bit over zealous on this to stop the idea spreading?

Thing is, if they start allowing it for one, there'll always be someone else who feels they have an equal need - nervous flyers, larger folk, those with children who need calming, people with hidden disabilities and more

Flying can be stressful enough anyway; maybe they're just trying to avoid making it worse?

Yes, of course YABU. And get a grip, he touched you, he didn't drag you out by your hair.

Don't be silly, fireside. The flight attendant told her she was disturbing passengers 'who had paid more'. Not passengers 'who had been fortuitously bumped from economy because there was a spare space'.

Not entitled, no. Swollen feet, I've had before. This was frightening, and I was actually scared - thinking what have I done? I was also having contractions.

I imagine I would have had to give birth firmly in the Economy section, so as not to be the stupid woman disturbing the elite, granny.

Now you are over exaggerating.

As for your elite granny statement maybe stop stereotyping others that you know nothing about.

The op doesn't say that anyone complained either, so the nasty people in bc can't be held accountable.

Madison - I don't think a man should put his hands on a woman for no essential reason.

He didn't assault you op so you are being dramatic. He might have tapped you to get attention rather than calling out and making a noise don't you think.

Someone had paid more, but not necessarily the passengers.

YANBU to be upset about the way you were spoken to. You're a paying customer and deserve to be treated courteously. Implying that you're worth less because you paid less, and that you're trying it on because you think you have special "pregnancy privilege" is unacceptably rude.
Yes, you shouldn't have been in that area, but anyone with an iota of common sense or decent customer service attitude would have tactfully tried to find a solution for you instead of humiliating you in front of other passengers.There is often more space around the galleys or at the back of the plane etc.
I'd complain. Not about being asked to leave business class, but about the way it was handled.