Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

I just hope you feel ok now fatandembarrassed. I'm sure that you were just trying to alleviate leg cramps and the assistant was OTT when he could have been polite . Chalk it up to experience and maybe one day you'll find a way to laugh at this (while holding a new DC).

Wow can't believe people are saying YABU it's not like you were getting use of the business class facilities and walking up and down the aisle is much preferable to DVT!! I would almost definite complain how you were treated and that the flight attendant handled you. That is totally unacceptable. Poor OP, I really thought you'd be getting more support from mumsnetters, pretty disappointing actually. I would have done the same in your situation, but unlike you I might have kicked off!

YABU for venturing into business class. You hadn't paid the fare and therefore had no business being there. BUT the flight attendant had no business touching you unless he had asked you to leave and you had refused. It's appalling to think that he manhandled you in any way unless you had made a fuss about being asked to leave. He needs re-training and quickly!

Really don't follow this "manhandling" thing. He led her by the arm. She wasn't in a headlock. Are we such sensitive little flowers that we can't growl at an over-familiar flight attendant if we don't want to be touched on the arm? I would. Cabin crew touch people all the time - to wake them up, help them with bags etc. I have always been rather grateful for the opportunity not to snooze through the drinks service.

Much more likely that the OP was reluctant to be removed and the "inappropriate touching" remark was a rather subjective interpretation triggered by her embarrassment.

Never buy It's fair enough because gold members will have flown millions of miles with them and are being rewarded for their loyalty. They are also experienced travellers who don't think itsbangreat place to make friends or use as an obgyn gym.

pilpiloni

We also don't know if the op actually stripped naked and did cartwheels down the aisle landing on the lap of one of the passengers with her big belly bump.

All we have to go on is her version - the rest is speculation.

😂😂😂

Totally agree pilpoloni

Crying from laughter, no less

Actually, we also have something called life experience which says it's very likely that the flight attended told her nicely that BC is for BC passengers, not for anyone who feels like a stroll.

That same life experience also says it is impossible for OP to have been doing cartwheels in the aisle.

It's the unbelievable arrogance of saying OP couldn't possibly have experienced what she experienced that gets me.

I've met some nasty FAs in my time and some lovely ones.

However, that's MY experience. I don't have the arrogance to insist I know better than the OP what happened to her because of MY life experiences.

"Sounds unlikely" isn't quite the same thing as "I insist", but I shouldn't have needed to tell you that.

Your suggestion that the probability of an FA having started with a polite suggestion that OP return to Economy is about the same as a pregnant woman doing naked cartwheels in the narrow aisle of an airplane is not worth discussing.

Cote, I quite agree

As for the manhandling suggestions

I must manhandle at least 10 pax a day at that rate.

Btw, I totally believe that "she experienced what she says she experienced" - a health crisis, public humiliation, physical assault.

What actually happened, though, was that her feet were a bit swollen (as is very common in pregnancy) l, she walked about in BC for some time (she shouldn't have), and was told BC is for people who have paid BC tickets (true and fair) and a FA touched her arm in the meanwhile (not assault).

young heavily pregnant, flying alone, feeling shit.. I think OP was entitled to be sensitive and the flight attendant should have handled it better

What actually happened, though, was that her feet were a bit swollen (as is very common in pregnancy) l, she walked about in BC for some time (she shouldn't have), and was told BC is for people who have paid BC tickets (true and fair) and a FA touched her arm in the meanwhile (not assault).

See what I mean by the arrogance?

Cote, you were not there, so you do not know what 'actually happened'. Are you really finding it that difficult to grasp?

Your suggestion that the probability of an FA having started with a polite suggestion that OP return to Economy is about the same as a pregnant woman doing naked cartwheels in the narrow aisle of an airplane

Where did I suggest that?

"you were not there, so you do not know what 'actually happened'"

What I said in that sentence is exactly what OP described.

Does nobody else see the irony that the op; when prevented from prowling around the business class cabin apparently on doctors orders; deals with being told she can't do this by squeezing herself into the business class toilet and staying there for some considerable time, rather than ambling back to economy class and pacing the aisles there?
The urgency to move freely in business class seemed to abate very suddenly.

Oh, and her comments about considering herself as having been treated as less than human are beneath contempt.

The urgency to move freely in business class seemed to abate very suddenly

No, you're not the only one that occurred to

She locked herself in the business class toilet??

Agent where does the OP say she is heavily pregnant? I agree with you though - she WAS entitled as fuck.

Feeling shit = everyone in long haul economy.

The idea that it is impossible to walk up and down economy aisles is bullshit. As I mentioned earlier, when I flew business and needed to walk to avoid DVT, I found it far easier to walk up and down the long economy aisles.

Anyone I've known with swollen ankles in pregnancy has been advised to elevate feet, not walk. And anti-DVT exercises can be done at one's seat; I do them on every flight.

BC passengers pay for privacy; if one wants to interpret that as "not wanting to rub elbows with the unwashed" or "classist" - well, hogwash. It's only classist or discriminatory if certain types or categories of people are prevented up-front from buying BC or FC passage. However, anyone with the means may do so, just as various people can afford different types of dwellings, cars, restaurant meals etc.

Exactly Village - my DH refuses to pay bc rates even though he can afford it because "the economy cabin gets there at the same time". I fly business when I can or when work is paying because I prefer to arrive at my destination not looking and feeling like something recently vomited up by a dog. It's horses for courses, not a free for all for the pregnant or otherwise disadvantaged.

young, when I book BC for colleagues it's generally done because the outlay of paying for BC is less than the loss of them not being able to work/sleep on flights and as a result their working time being reduced.

If BC just becomes an extension of economy where random people are doing various other things rather than being quiet and working/sleeping then people won't pay for BC. And as businesses they have to take this into account and protect what BC customers are paying for - which is not pregnant women pacing around when they're trying to work or sleep.

Incidentally, my Dad is disabled and FAs always do absolutely everything they can to facilitate a comfortable flight for him - in economy.

I agree 100% Bill - if I can work uninterrupted on a bc flight then the amount of fees I can bill for my firm massively exceeds the difference in long haul fare. Same if I need to go straight to a meeting at the other end. It's simple economics.

Equally if there was a parade of people traipsing through bc claiming discomfort then I would use another airline. The FA's know this, hence the swift removal of the OP and the "iron curtain" between cabins. Equally I don't go for a stroll in first on my bc ticket (and if I did I would expect to be swiftly removed).

I flew economy pregnant last week and was treated wonderfully by the cabin crew as I said upthread. Maybe the difference is that I told the cabin crew I was feeling deathly and asked politely for their help. Of course some FA's are rude but it seems unlikely to be their first reaction to a polite and reasonable customer. Which leads me to suspect that the OP was neither of those things.

I'd let it go. You have a really exciting and stressful thing coming up . If you find it hard to let go, try meditating.

FA shouldn't have touched you but do you want to spend any more time on this?