Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

There will never be a next time. I was in so much pain - I am on bedrest for the moment.

I do understand about the ticket etc, but for less than 5 minutes, a quick walk up and down? And nobody should be aggressive and put their hands on someone the way he did.

FA was being unpleasant, but anyone without a seat in business class is quickly ejected from BC, whatever their circumstances.

And honestly - speaking as someone who had to fly regularly for work until I was 36 weeks - while I totally sympathise about the BH and swollen ankles, you need to take some responsibility for flying at a point in pregnancy when these things are likely, especially when you'd clearly been warned that you were going to have to keep walking about, so clearly issues were on the agenda.

He probably panicked if someone had complained that you were in there that he hadn't noticed himself. He was rude though.

You can't go in business class when you are in economy. It's like going behind the ropes at Buckingham Palace.

Yes, arf, verbatim.

Did he really say you were disturbing other passengers "who've paid more than you"? You weren't supposed to be there so YABU in that respect but I'd certainly be complaining about that. That's a disgusting way to talk to a customer, especially in front of others.

I do feel for you. Yes, everyone knows EC passengers shouldn't be in BC but when you're in pain, sometimes logic flies out of the window.

Are BC passengers really so precious that they can't sympathise with someone else's situation?

The FA should have just said that I'm afraid EC passengers are not allowed in BC, can I help you to your seat, get you a drink of water etc. It's Customer Service 101.

Seamus - the flight was for family reasons, not a holiday trip.

"Sorry - missed the bit that it was the business class aisle" - how could you miss that bit, none of the OP makes sense without it????

Lordy - I know the toffs paid more but FFS there's such a thing as having a bit of compassion for someone in need isn't there? Disturbed, me arse.

Know your place OP.

If there was a business class on the flight (rather than a small premium economy area) it was a large plane and you could have walked to the full length of the plane and down the other side.

IMHO, there was no need to go behind the curtain into Business class to have a walk.

YABU.

You shouldn't have been in an area you hadn't paid for. Although he could have handled it better.

If you woke up passengers then it doesn't matter if you were there for 5 or 50 minutes. The attendant could have been more polite, but he was right.

A pregnant woman in pain & distress & people are more worried she's upset class markers by trying to stretch her legs on a long haul flight? Honestly, paying more for your ticket doesn't come with permssion to be a jerk. Sometimes people just need a break and it harms no one to let someone in obvious pain into their rarefied peasant free space for 5 minutes.

Yabu op.
You shouldn't have been there at all.

Agree wig leelu. This is a pregnant woman, a human being. She wasn't making herself comfy and demanding champagne she was walking about.

I hope that if I had been a business-class passenger on that flight I wouldn't have ben so self-important as to complain about a pregnant woman in discomfort walking up and down a little in - shock! - my super-exclusive section.

The flight attendant may have been technically in the right but his way of putting it was shocking. There would be a big fat complaint coming from me - or prhaps from my dh, as (sadly) sometimes men still get further with these things.

Yes that stewie.
I tend to assume people are decent. Maybe I need to get out more.

He put his hand on your arm, he didn't yank you back to economy.

Aww op I'm sorry this happened
I flew a 12 hour flight when I was 26w pregnant and the FA advised me I was able to use BC loos if I needed and feel free to walk about. I was so pleased with how kind they were it was BA. I don't think YABU

Oh fgs.
I travel in business class and I wouldn't give a toss if a pregnant woman was stretching her legs.
Being able to afford it just makes me bloody lucky, able to spread out and drink free booze , not some precious creature who can't be around other folk.
If I ever heard a steward talking to a customer like that I'd report him.

To be honest though I'm very surprised that he would say such a thing. The most experienced and senior staff with the greatest tolerance and diplomacy are often put in business and first class.

It would be extremely surprising that he would say something so crass which would, I suspect, jeopardise his job if he were overheard.
Lots of people fly first class sometimes, economy others. He has no idea who he is talking to. Thoroughly foolish if him if he said such a thing.

OP, I agree that the attendant ought not to have been rude, but you do need to accept you were BU I am afraid. Look at the consensus of opinion on here.

DH uses business a lot. He uses business because it allows him to travel very long distances, to a different time zone, in relative comfort, step off the plane, and WORK, feeling as fresh as possible. He may wish to sleep the whole way, or watch films or read or whatever, but he pays for the privilege of a relative choice, undisturbed. However quietly you walked, I suspect that might be disturbing in some degree.

I never suggested it was for a holiday trip. My own regular flights for work when heavily pregnant were compulsory - ie. I could not have done my job without them - but it was still ultimately my call each time I got on a plane as my pregnancy advanced. I do sympathise, honestly - though in my case the worst bit was the closure of an airport so that I had to precede every flight with a three-hour coach journey on a coach with no loo to another city's airport - but it's not within the FA's power to let you walk around in BC. Agree that he was unpleasant in his approach, obviously.

Sometimes people just need a break and it harms no one to let someone in obvious pain into their rarefied peasant free space for 5 minutes.

There's uncomfortable people on every single commercial air flight, that hardly matters unless it's a bona fide medical emergency.

There's a lot of assumption that it's toffs that use business class just for extra comfort. A lot of, er business folk us, er business class too. DH will often have to step off the plane and go straight to site.

Does nobody ever walk down the aisles in Business Class then - or is it just the common peasants that needastrongone's poor husband would be so thoroughly disturbed by?

(Haven't flown myself since 1999 as too scared now).