Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP you said you 'would never hesitate to give away my BC seat to a distressed pregnant woman'.

Were you hoping that by walking up and down looking distressed and pregnant in BC that someone would let you sit in there?

You get evicted from first class on trains as well, so it's normal not to be able to go in the section you haven't paid to be in. In fact you can get fined on trains but generally they just tell you to move.

But the FA was rude. I had something similar when I was pregnant - I was in a swimming pool and the lifeguard wanted me to swim in a different lane. I didn't want to because the young men in that lane were splashing me. He told me to swim faster then. I retorted that he was being very reckless to be so rude to a hormonal pregnant lady!

What's wrong with being a bit polite??!! Why couldn't he have 'requested' her and also checked if she were feeling ok? What's wrong with people?

Jeezo, AIBU are in top form today!

YANBU. You probably shouldn't have been in business class according to the rules of the ticket but who on earth could be bothered about an uncomfortable pregnant woman on a long-haul flight having to walk around a bit!? Would it be acceptable to them if you were sitting there? Why on earth does it matter to them??

I can understand the flight attendant having to ask you to leave because that's his job but the way he did it was 100% unjustified and you should definitely complain.

over sensitive? Um what? For pointing out your 'dread' at what would happen if she was in labour is ridiculous? That's not over sensitive.

You just wanted someone to offer you a business class seat, didn't you OP. And thought if you hung around long enough looking desperately pregnant that they give you one!

Nice try, but you shouldn't have been there. Although I wouldn't like a male flight attendant to manhandle me.

If you don't want to be told off, don't go to sections you've not paid to be in.

I bet your weren't half as quiet as you are making out, walking up and down like that.

How weird you seem to think being pregnant means you can just what you want.

You shouldn't have been in BC. You were in the wrong by being there. You can walk up and down the aisle in economy.

On a flight if an economy class customer tried to go into business class they will be stopped quickly and clearly by the flight attendants. Those are the rules. It doesn't matter how many people are sitting there or whether some have been upgraded or not. If you aren't one of them, then you shouldn't be there. You seem unwilling to take this onboard, which makes me wonder what you said to the FA that made him more forceful with you.

Anchor - retrospectively, I don't think I was actually fit to fly, either :(

Sadly found that out a bit later than I would have liked. I've never had any problems in the past, but have never flown while pregnant, and won't be doing so again.

I agree Aye, I imagine the entire thing was a shameless attempt to gather enough pity to get moved to BC.

I bet there was a lot of huffing and puffing.

Just how 'rude' was the Flight Attendant? If he was politely and unequivocally telling you that you could not go there then he was doing his job. Just because you seem to think you have the right to be there doesn't make his behaviour rude. I'd like to hear his side because I too think YABVU. And I refuse to believe he 'manhandled' you in any way, shape or form 😳

I can understand the flight attendant having to ask you to leave because that's his job but the way he did it was 100% unjustified and you should definitely complain.

about what?

"Hi. I'd like to complain that I wasn't allowed to be in business class when I had an economy class ticket."

You're being overly dramatic and ridiculous op. No you should not have wandered into BC, you didn't pay so you shouldn't have been there. No one needs to tell you this. it doesn't matter whether the entire BC section was empty, you didn't pay so you should not have been there. The economy is far more aisle room than the BC so you could have walked up and down there.
He probably spoke to you that way because it's really unbelievable you didn't know that you shouldn't have been there and come across as a bit rude yourself for just assuming you can.

namechangeparents they will upgrade you on trains as well. I was offered a seat in first class one year at the end of Glastonbury, the festival goers were joining the train and it had been a wet muddy weekend. The train manager, or whatever they call the guard now, came over and asked if I would like to move into first class. I was on another train and it was crowded with football fans who were drunk and rowdy. I went and stood at the end of the carriage, the sort of lobby area where the loos are. The train manager was walking past and asked if I was OK and I said it was a bit rowdy. He told me to go and sit in first class.

I wasn't even pregnant!

The FA was rude and I would have complained about him touching me.

However, there's a reason why he sent you to your seat and that was you being in an area you haven't paid for. Business class is for people who paid for it.

I imagine I would have had to give birth firmly in the Economy section, so as not to be the stupid woman disturbing the elite, granny.

I can imagine there's a reason why airlines really don't like seeing pregnant women on board of a plane and that's the risk of a woman giving birth on a plane. IMHO, you should only be flying if there's a total emergency requiring your presence, like someone close to you dying, otherwise stay put and wait till you gave birth.

Get a grip and move on.

You shouldn't have gone into bc but there's absolutely no way he should have touched you. That, imo (for personal reasons) would have been totally unacceptable.
Equally, none of this would have happened of you weren't there.

PaulAnka, this is a thread on the net. Calling people ridiculous and saying things are nonsense does seem to indicate you are over sensitive. I am sure that will offend your sensitive soul. Never mind.

Pretty spiteful. I actually chose a seat right next to the toilet, because I needed to be in that area. No, no 'huffing and puffing'. As I said, I was in complete silence. For less than 5 minutes. My seat was fine, no problems at all. The problem was my ankles.

ah, its really shit to be in a position where you are PG and feel vulnerable, so yes you were BU and still, its clear you probably were NOT fit to travel and this exacerbated things and how you reacted

Has the FC worded it in a more tactful manner, I doubt we would even be debating this

Lots of flyers get swollen ankles, me included. As long as you get some exercise it's not a medical emergency.

But you don't get it, it's irrelevant if you are there for 5 minutes, you didn't pay to wander around that section so you shouldn't have. The economy area is larger so why didn't you walk down those aisles?

Not an indicator to me, nor to the majority of members I think. No sensitive soul here, hard as nails. Your posts however are a bit more emotive than mine, with your 'dread' and all that. I don't think I'm the sensitive soul here...

Absolutely outrageous, and I can't believe people are defending it! Just because you are in business class does not give you carte blanche to ignore the sufferings of other people in an incredibly entitled way. You are not a better person who should be allowed to travel undisturbed just because you can pay more for a bloody ticket.

Sometimes I come onto a thread and it makes me sad.

The steward should NOT have put his hands on any woman unless she was posing a threat to the safety of other passengers. In this case, she wasn't. The only think that she risked threatening was the fragile egos of those rich enough to demand exclusivity.

Those who say - "well people pay more for quiet and more comfort" - what if the OP HAD paid for business class. Her actions would have still been exactly the same - she would have been still have been pacing, still have been "huffing and puffing". Would she have been asked to move?

Most of the replies on this thread are not about the poor hard working business class customers who just need quiet to do their very important work - it is very much about exclusivity.

I don't think it should be a free for all - but a level of common sense and compassion should take over. A quiet word to the stewards that OP was in severe pain and having contractions should have been sufficient for them to offer her appropriate care - even if this meant allowing her to move her body around the whole plane.