Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

Whether you should have been there or not..and I don't see the big deal that you were..his personal remarks were disgusting. I would complain.

You should try a Ryanair flight with morning sickness...
I was told it'd be €3.50 when I asked for a glass of water after vomiting for at least the 10th time. I needn't have paid for a seat as I spent most of the flight in the loo.

Why is it nonsense? Is it really beyond anyone to have a bit of consideration for a heavily pregnant woman? The world has changed, years ago people would have been offering to help her, now she gets put in her place.

Sorry OP, I agree with the majority, YABU.

You hadn't paid for business class so you shouldn't have been there. Simples.

You were heavily pregnant and knew that the flight wasn't going to be the most comfortable, so you need to take some responsibility for choosing to travel. You were not going to get dvt and your baby was not going to be harmed just because they wouldn't let you in business class.

Also wrong for you to assume you weren't disturbing anyone... I can imagine people might well find it irritating to have someone repeatedly doing laps of the aisle "quietly and slowly" past their seats as it makes it hard to relax or concentrate when someone keeps coming past.

Fatandembaressed

To be honest you are being a bit dramatic there.

A rude flight attendant does not signal the end of mans humanity to man.

Many people wouldn't have cared. Many people would have been extremely annoyed with the flight attendant if they had over heard him

But no, I wouldn't give my business class seat away to a distressed pregnant woman because they wouldn't be able to cope with my profoundly autistic son.

Of course you were upset, understandably so. But it was an 11 hour flight and it would have been better to regroup and talk to someone. If business class was nearly empty as you say they may very well have offered you an upgrade.

I have been on several flights when they have upgraded elderly passengers or passengers they know to be celebrating. I can't think of the last time I travelled with business class nearly empty. It makes excellent economic sense for the staff to upgrade once the plane is full.

Which airline was it. It's all sounding incredibly unprofessional

I imagine I would have had to give birth firmly in the Economy section, so as not to be the stupid woman disturbing the elite, granny.

For those of you who 'don't believe' this could possibly happen, I would have agreed with you before. I never thought anyone would treat me as less than human. I hope you continue to believe the best of everyone.

I hope that if I had been a business-class passenger on that flight I wouldn't have ben so self-important as to complain about a pregnant woman in discomfort walking up and down a little in - shock! - my super-exclusive section.

^this^

But glad I wasn't the only replaying the scene from bridesmaids in my head

OP its a shame that they didn't offer you an upgrade if it was nearly empty.

I know you say you didn't have a lot of spare money but I know someone who was recently offered an upgrade on a long flight for a surprisingly modest sum and she took it and said it was totally worth it.

The situation probably won't arise again but it seems that it could be worth asking about an upgrade on check in to see what they say.

Swollen ankles, braxton Hicks? and feeling unwell...you aren't near due date?

We might even have diverted for you

you can only go into BC if you have paid for BC!!!! sorry but soooooooooooooooooooo BU

Good job you didn't go into labour. I dread to think of how you would have been treated for creating a spectacle of yourself.

There's your nonsense granny.

The crew were probably concerned that you weren't fit to fly. It doesn't sound like you were, really.

Regardless, security regulations say that you shouldn't be in the area that you have no ticket for - you shouldn't have been able to get in without someone noticing and stopping you. He was probably a mixture of concerned that you'd go into labour and concerned that they were not currently doing their job well, and very eager to move you back to where you were supposed to be.

If you needed to be able to walk around, the stewards will clear the trolley area and let you walk there in privacy. That's the protocol for if you are unwell. Tell the stewards, and they will help you do what you need to do. Just starting to pace up and down was probably quite worrying for everyone else, pacing is generally a bad thing.

I'm sorry that you felt embarrassed but I think it's probably mutual fault, at the very best. You didn't follow any protocols about getting help/staying in your area, and they didn't notice to stop you going into BC in the first place, and weren't overly polite - although they are trained to be authoritative when necessary.

Oh ffs.

It's not a super exclusive section filled with wankers. It's business people, people paying extra because it's an anniversary etc and, as with economy , occasional wanker.
Just like regular groups of people.

Now you're just being ridiculous OP.

The op didn't need to be there though.

I've been in a situation where I had to exercise regularly during a long haul flight, although not pregnant. It was a bit of a pain, but doable. Everyone on a long haul flight needs to get a bit of exercise to prevent complications. They can't all just wander into bc when it suits them.

Wobble, that sounds awful. Try EasyJet, I didn't have morning sickness but got on an EasyJet flight just as a migraine started. The FA came over and asked if I was OK, and I explained. The Senior FA came and sat next to me and asked if she could do anything, produced paracetamol and a glass of water and kept an eye on me for the flight. I couldn't have had kinder treatment. Of course I can't promise all their FA are as nice but on that flight they deserved a gold star.

Did you really need to 'wander' in to business class? Surely there was enough space to walk around in economy? I've flown economy with DS and there was plenty of space to walk around and stand up with him when he needed it.

Look, I honestly think your pregnancy is a red herring in all of this, from the POV of the airline.

They have rules that they need to stick to, regarding people entering the BC section when they haven't paid to.

They need to stick to those rules because if they let pregnant women waltz walk up and down the aisles as and when they need to, then they'll have to let everyone who is at increased risk of DVT to exactly the same thing.

Things that put you most at risk of DVT on a flight...

•increasing age
•pregnancy
•previous venous thromboembolism
•family history of thrombosis
•medical conditions such as cancer and heart failure
•inactivity (for example after an operation or on a long-haul flight)
•being overweight or obese - so 64% of the adult UK population

Do you honestly think they should have made an exception for you, but not for anyone else on the list?

Or do you think they should also make exceptions for everyone on the list, because I don't see how that would work?

Why is it nonsense for me to dread to think of their reaction? I think you are being a bit over sensitive PaulAnka, people can think what they like and you might be absolutely sure they would have dealt with a woman in labour and I can think they might not deal with it well.

As others have said it is surprising that you weren't upgraded. It happens alot when BC isn't busy.

The reason it is relevant is he made the comment that her pregnancy wasn't an excuse. Which is personal and uncalled for.

I imagine I would have had to give birth firmly in the Economy section, so as not to be the stupid woman disturbing the elite

now you are being silly, BC is full of tired people who work, and often have to get off the flights and go straight into a meeting- we send people BC so they can start work when they get off the plane , and work ON the plane!

I appreciate how sensitive and vulnerable we feel when heavily PG, but hopefully by reading YABU you wont get offended, and understand that many people have to travel who are not fit

ill people
mums with newborns
elderly people

they cant all head off the BC can they!!!

For those of you who 'don't believe' this could possibly happen, I would have agreed with you before. I never thought anyone would treat me as less than human. I hope you continue to believe the best of everyone.

I'm sorry op, but that is hilarious. You were treated like a human being, a human being who hadn't paid a huge amount to be in BC.

Im not sure about it being to do with believing the best in people. It's trying to understand a situation that sounds so outside my experience. Which is why I'm asking - I think you could have been much more confortable.
I think you should formally complain,
The flight details will identify the crew member.

What sort of knob makes a special point of whining to the steward in the first place?
If you were unaware of the etiquette of business class and its precious precious customers, then you made an honest mistake, were embarrassed in front of people you'll never see again and need to just let it go.
Nobody died.