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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
EnthusiasmDisturbed · 20/05/2016 10:09

People do walk around in bc last time I was in there

Maybe now they glide if they have paid that bit more

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 10:09

LouBlou - To other posters - Being pregnant doesn't mean a person is entitled to do as she pleases.

I think OP was trying to be considerate actually. It was tight in economy, so there was more possibility of jostling passengers. There was more room in BC so less chance of jostling anyone.

WorraLiberty · 20/05/2016 10:10

What strikes me about your opening post OP, is that you have completely left out your side of the conversation.

Why is that?

Did the guy really just breathlessly reel off all of those words? Or was the conversation two way?

EponasWildDaughter · 20/05/2016 10:11

This is the problem with people observing a 'class' system on one vehicle.

However, having said that, that is the way it is, and when you enter into a contract and book your place within a system where people on one side of a curtain are paying x10 what people on the other side are and everyone agrees to stay separate then you have to suck it up.

Original poster
fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 10:11

I'm not sure if anyone heard. The BC section was mostly empty, maybe 10 people in 30 seats?

I cried in the toilet. I daresay that was also inconveniencing people, but I couldn't very well leave the situation. Nobody spoke to me. Again - Yes, the words used were 'You are disturbing people who have paid more.'

I do think it is sad that money is of greater importance than a person in pain, and their baby. On previous, non-pregnant, flights, I seldom left my seat. And would never hesitate to give my BC seat away to a distressed pregnant woman, or an elderly person taken ill, for example.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 20/05/2016 10:11

I'm torn.

If you needed to walk up and down, the economy section in long-haul is more than long enough to do that. I can't imagine traipsing up and down through business if I hadn't actually paid to be there.

And as others have said, if everyone who fancied a leg-stretch took themselves into business to do it, it would turn into Picadilly Circus.

However, you can just imagine the sort of person in business, who'd complain about an obviously pregnant woman stretching their legs. Read: a business class novice, throwing their weight around.

londonrach · 20/05/2016 10:11

Yabu.

Thanks for the bridesmaid link. Ive just seen the bathroom scene when they all in their dresses. Id forgotten how funny that move was. (Off topic completely).

Lovewineandchocs · 20/05/2016 10:12

I agree with wannabe yes, technically you shouldn't have been in business class (although mean-spirited idiot perfectly describes whoever complained about you) however the flight attendant was an uncompassionate knob. For the way he handled the situation I would put in a complaint to the airline. What did he say when you started to cry? Did any other passengers say anything?

CaramelPrincess · 20/05/2016 10:12

I think this is ridiculous. You were a heavily pregnant woman who simply wanted to get up and have a walk around to ease some discomfort. It's not like you went in there demanding a seat and using the facilities or whatever. What is wrong with society this days? Why can't we be kinder to people??
If I'd have been sat in business class, no matter what I'd paid and what I believed I was entitled to, I'd have had a little chat with you and helped you feel a bit better!

needastrongone · 20/05/2016 10:12

Kurri, maybe you then move into First Class, and wander up and down there, if you'd paid for business class, that would really get the attendants going Grin

Penfold007 · 20/05/2016 10:13

I was on a flight yesterday in economy, several EC passengers went into BC to use those toilets the crew stopped them each time.
The steward could have been more tactful but you shouldn't have been in the BC area and part of his job is to ensure this.

WorraLiberty · 20/05/2016 10:14

By the way can anyone clarify. He "marched" up to you, what the heck does that mean? Was he a soldier too?

It makes a change from 'waltzing' Grin

Many disgruntled Mumsnetters have reported people waltzing up to them, or waltzing by.

I always expect Len Goodman to leap out and shout SEVEEEEEN!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 10:14

It's not as though there isn't an aisle in economy!

Olddear · 20/05/2016 10:16

Yabu.

Original poster
fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 10:18

Worraliberty: He said the two sentences I put in my op. I was shocked and embarrassed and said nothing. Probably looked shocked.

For the person who asked for clarification: by 'marched', I mean walking up to a person in a purposeful and rather aggressive manner.

OP posts:
grannytomine · 20/05/2016 10:18

Good job you didn't go into labour. I dread to think of how you would have been treated for creating a spectacle of yourself. The age of chivalry is truly dead.

MissDuke · 20/05/2016 10:18

It sounds like you really were not fit for this flight. Did you wear compression stockings and are you wearing them now? You say you are now on bedrest, who advised this? It seems contraindicated after a long haul flight. Where is the pain?

It must be very frustrating for flight attendants to have to chase people out of the sections that they chose not to pay for, but to be honest if it were me and if I possibly could, I would have looked into getting you upgraded (Maybe they don't do that though? I have never flown long haul!). It sounds horrendous for you.

Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 10:18

Hmmmm

I'm shocked that a Crew member actually said all this to be honest.

Launched into a tirade like that?

Not sure I believe it all went like that.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 10:18

Oh what nonsense granny!

Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 10:19

Why name change for this?

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 10:20

I'm not sure if anyone heard. The BC section was mostly empty, maybe 10 people in 30 seats?

What difference does that make. I just can't imagine going through to business class to stretch my legs in any circumstance. I think most people would feel very uncomfortable about that. If people can afford a more exclusive service then I see nothing wrong with them enjoying that service in peace.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 10:20

Why name change for this?

Crossed my mind too.

grannytomine · 20/05/2016 10:20

A friend of mine travelled BC on a long haul flight. She was flying to meet her husband with her 4 children, all under six. The way she described the reaction of BC people at having 4 children in there was hysterical. The very idea that people with the money for BC should have to put up with children was beyond them. Her husband's firm were paying so she probably wasn't the right type for BC anyway.

Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 10:21

This reply has been deleted

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Wdigin2this · 20/05/2016 10:21

Oh dear, I'm sorry you were upset, but the point of Business Class is, you pay more to be there. Tbh if I were in BC and a pregnant woman was walking up and down to ease discomfort, I wouldn't mind at all...but not everyone sees it like that! So the attendant had no choice but to ask you to leave, but he surely could have been a little kinder about it?!