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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
honeyroar · 23/05/2016 11:56

Why do you need to know that? A long time. A lot more than 10 years.

user1463231665 · 23/05/2016 11:56

I wil always remember a flight to Antigua when there was not quite space for all of us so my daughters about 8 and 10 got put into business class, lucky them and poor fellow passengers although I am sure they were pretty quiet.

I have never understood the appeal of business class. I could pay for it but think it's an utter waste of money for a seat just a bit bigger to fit fatter bottoms but each to their own. We can all spend our money how we choose. I wouldn't go into business class if I hadn't paid, would not use their loos either. Occasionally I've put carry on luggage in there if no other space but I think usually the cabin staff have okayed that anyway.

The most important bit for many on flights is just be kind (and in life for that matter). Flying brings out the worst in too many people. A bit more politeness never goes amiss and always obey the rules so don't go into business class if you haven't paid for it

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/05/2016 12:01

To be fair, AnotherTime, it does sound very unlikely. The chances of your husband, being on a flight, with a particular member of cabin crew, who manages each time, without good reason, to upgrade him... Why would they? Confused

Taking account of:

  • other passengers
  • other crew who may want to upgrade others
  • fill-level of passengers on that flight
  • reason for upgrade
  • willingness of senior staff to allow it - same crew member, same passenger

It all sounds very odd.

Honeyroar sounds like she's plenty experienced in her role.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 12:21

Is your husband Samantha Brick?

CoteDAzur · 23/05/2016 12:25

"my Dh has been upgraded a few times when certain crew happened to fancy the pants of him"

I took that to mean "My DH flirts with flight attendants outrageously and sometimes manages to get an upgrade out of them" Smile

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 12:54

honeyroar if you've been on the business for so long then you certainly know how the upgrades work half the time ! All it takes is a willing service director!!

honeyroar · 23/05/2016 14:05

I do know how the upgrades work on my airline. They try their hardest not to upgrade, as this thread shows, it just causes problems. If they need to upgrade, it's sometimes frequent flyers that are chosen, or most likely, the person who just happens to be there at the time they realise more passengers than seats have turned up. If there's a double booking for a seat, again it's usually the card holders that get the better seat, or as someone mentioned earlier, the one who has been the most polite and friendly to the crew trying to sort out the double booking. But no, as I said, I've never known of anyone upgraded for looks. Most of us have met some of the most gorgeous movie stars and pop stars, looks don't impress us that much. We're too busy to notice half the time.

betsyderek · 23/05/2016 14:58

On Qatar Airways they come round after take off and ask if you mind a gold card member being upgraded. After that they call them through and seat them. I think that's fair enough.

betsyderek · 23/05/2016 15:00

Yes I have never noticed cabin crew being particularly excited by celebrities except for Russell Brand and he kind of initiates it!

Only1scoop · 23/05/2016 15:35

Walter Grin

StarlingMurmuration · 23/05/2016 15:55

They actually ask the other BC customers?! What if someone says "No"?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 15:59

honeyroar I never said they upgrade based on looks! I'm talking about preferences here, that could be crew "preferring" someone more, maybe cause they are their mother, a friend or someone they might fancy
If you're telling me you're working for an airline where even the captain doesn't upgrade his own mother then I say fair enough, I work for one that does..A lot!

honeyroar · 23/05/2016 16:13

The captain upgrading his mother or similar is a a bit of a different scenario from "my husband has been upgraded a few times when certain crew fancied the pants off him".

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 16:16

You said it was when the crew "fancied the pants" off him though...

Only1scoop · 23/05/2016 16:28

"The crew fancied the pants off him'

Oh Cringe

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 17:49

honeyroar I'm talking about preferences in general, in talking about bending the rules which happens on a daily basis so for the specific thread yes they do give free upgrades to whoever they like!!

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 17:51

You said it was when the crew "fancied the pants" off him though...
Yes for my Dh, it's an example of the free upgrades they do, I've seen it haippen to their mates, to their relatives etc even to pregnant women they do want to help!

NeverbuytheDailyMail · 23/05/2016 17:56

betsy

I think that's fair enough.

Why is it fair enough?

impossible · 23/05/2016 19:39

Sorry but YABU. If you pay for economy you stay in economy. It was certainly worth a try but YABU to make a fuss when caught out. If they hadn't spoken to you the cabin staff would most likely have had the business class customers complaining (if they hadnt already).

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 23/05/2016 20:26

Upgrades only ever based on frequent flyer miles on the airlines I use. When I was platinum (sadly not any more) I used to get upgraded once every 3 flights on average. Makes sense to me. Why give away thousands of freebie to someone who may never fly with the airline again?

Upgrades for lookers?

Member251061 · 23/05/2016 21:49

Some people are just horrible & thoughtless. It was the circumstances that led you to walk around the plane-in order to ease your pain & swollen anchles. If you were disturbing the business class passengers, the attendant should've spoken to you as he would speak to anyone -in a polite manner.

Eiram49 · 23/05/2016 22:24

Not sure what the big deal about walking in the business section is? She was pregnant and advice from health is to stretch your legs. Difficult to walk up and down in economy, so she walked a bit further. If she were to wander in there expecting or taking a seat, then fair enough- but she didn't . Talk about being precious!!

Queenbean · 23/05/2016 22:25

Eiram HOW is it difficult to walk in economy? The aisles are longer than BC and the same width as BC

CoteDAzur · 23/05/2016 22:33

"Difficult to walk up and down in economy... advice from health is to stretch your legs."

There is nothing difficult about walking in Economy. People do it all the time, when they go to the toilet and back, for example.

lotbyname · 23/05/2016 23:39

I'm often depressed by how mean people are mumsnet. :(