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AIBU?

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Original poster

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 22/05/2016 22:25

"There's no sign at the entrance to business saying no plebs economy class."

Except that OP says that she deliberately went strolling in Business Class because the aisle is wider there.

MouseyLouse · 22/05/2016 22:30

I'm worthy and I need to grow up. Wow. Which one first?

The poster I was replying too didn't need to save up. She got an allowance. Because she worked hard.

Which demeans every one who also works hard without getting such perks. Because that is what it is. But the poster I was responding to seemed to think it is her right. Which is utter bs.

RockMeMomma · 22/05/2016 22:32

The Daily Fail is a useless Rag
Please call airline and complain while it's still timely, you might get compensated
...Or op might finally get a free upgrade to BC like she wanted all along. I think IF the op is exaggerating or fabricated what happened and complains to get a free upgrade, she needs to remember that her actions may have consequences and impact on the FA's career and he may have deciplinary action taken against him and put on his employment record. The Daily Fail is a useless Rag

MrsGaryKemp · 22/05/2016 22:34

*AnotherTimeMaybe
*
Not sure which airline you work for, but your comments are some of the most unbelievable here Hmm

Only1scoop · 22/05/2016 22:38

I touch people's arms gently all the time onboard.

I don't think he led her out in a minimum force style shunt Confused

Has Op been back

Can't be bothered to trawl through it all.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 22/05/2016 22:39

MrsGaryKemp which one you find unbelievable?

MouseyLouse · 22/05/2016 22:39

No she hasn't. I suspect she's horrified by the whole thread.

Can't believe how set upon people are on my these days. It's brutal.

RockMeMomma · 22/05/2016 22:43

The Daily Fail is a useless Rag I'd like if this thread does go viral so we can get the FA's version of events. The Daily Fail is a useless Rag

honeyroar · 22/05/2016 23:06

Wow, what a thread! YABU. Sorry. You don't just wander into another cabin without asking. There is no more room in the aisles in BC than economy. The seats are wider but the aisles are the same. The economy cabin is actually longer, so there's more room to walk around.

I'm cabin crew, and I do have to ask people to leave cabins they've not booked from time to time. Obviously you start with a polite request, but you do get some people quite rude and affronted to be asked to leave. There are many reasons. People in certain cabins have paid for the quiet, the extras, the lack of queues for toilets. It's strange to say we should all be classless. We just don't live in that kind of world, do we, so why should it be different on a plane? I'd be much more comfortable doing my long commute in a posh car rather than my focus, or living in a bigger house.. Also we often have famous people or royalty etc onboard, and lots of people trying to go have a look/ask for autographs. It's also a security issue nowadays, we do need to keep an eye out that the right number of passengers are in the right areas. There have been many serious issues in the past caused by passengers wandering around the planes and crew not pulling them up. We have snacks and magazines etc out for upper cabins to help themselves to. It's common for these to be stolen by passengers that have sneaked up (I've seen people come with carrier bags to fill up!). And finally, as someone mentioned, once one person has wandered up, for whatever reason, more immediately follow their example, with their own valid excuse.

Yes the crew member sounded a bit rude, but I'm not quite convinced there wasn't perhaps more to the conversation before that. If ever you're feeling unwell or uncomfortable on a plane, always go and tell the crew that are in your cabin, they'll do their best to help you. In some cases, genuine cases, we will move people to a better seat. You will always get more help if you ask for it rather than, how can I put it, going helping yourself. Hence all these stories of people next to entitled passengers getting upgraded, not the horrible one. It really does happen.

pilpiloni · 23/05/2016 00:37

Oranges

We also don't know if the op actually stripped naked and did cartwheels down the aisle landing on the lap of one of the passengers with her big belly bump.

All we have to go on is her version - the rest is speculation.

Sunnsoo · 23/05/2016 00:54

Flight attendants must get sick of having to tell people off though!

I usually travel business. Usually, lots of people try to come in. I have no idea why! But it does get very frustrating!

pilpiloni · 23/05/2016 01:55

Really? The times I've flown business I never noticed it once.

Seahawk80 · 23/05/2016 03:18

I love all these comments from people who assume half the passengers in business class will have been upgraded and therefore didn't pay more!!! Who are you all flying with to get these constant upgrades?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 03:59

honeyroar what do you have to say about him putting his hands on her and embarrassing her like that? Is it your airlines policy to handle things like that in such manner?

CoteDAzur · 23/05/2016 07:06

" embarrassing her like that?"

It sounds to me like OP embarrassed herself, first by taking a stroll in BC as if it's her God-given right by virtue of being pregnant, and then by crying in the toilet for a long while (as people waited outside, most likely).

curren · 23/05/2016 07:10

This is one of those threads that I really wish we could hear the other persons version.

Because I suspect it's nothing like the Ops version at all.

I agree with posters who say the OP was wondering about in there, hoping she would be invited to sit there.

WanderingTrolley1 · 23/05/2016 07:54

YABU.

Banderwassnatched · 23/05/2016 09:19

Have to admit, Cote, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about whether it's 'a good idea' to cry. I find it's one of those things that just happens, crying.

CoteDAzur · 23/05/2016 10:33

Don't worry about it, Bander. You will learn to control your emotions one day, too. Or won't, like my DM who turns on the taps in public at every opportunity. To her credit, though, even she would not lock herself into an airplane toilet to bawl her eyes out while people are waiting outside to pee.

honeyroar · 23/05/2016 10:43

AnotherTimeMaybe I wasn't there, so I don't know how he put his hand on her, but it's quite normal to touch someone on the arm gently to persuade them to turn round, IMO. To grope them, drag them, or frogmarch them isn't. I would think it's every airline's policy to be gentle and polite towards passengers in general, but we do have to be assertive and firm sometimes too.

Floggingmolly · 23/05/2016 11:36

Even the op herself says he "put his hand on her arm". Some people object to being touched, but that doesn't make it assault...
She was not frogmarched forcibly back to her seat (or we'd have heard about it, I'm sure), nor is there any suggestion that she was man handled in any way when it was explained to her that in order to spend the flight time in business class; she had to be in possession of a business class ticket.
What she should have been told off for, but doesn't appear to have been, was staging a sit in in the business class toilets to get over the "upset" this information like she didn't already know caused her.
What a storm in a fecking tea cup Hmm

hmcAsWas · 23/05/2016 11:38

"So my Dh has been upgraded a few times when certain crew happened to fancy the pants of him"

I want to me Anothertimemaybe's dh

hmcAsWas · 23/05/2016 11:38

meet

honeyroar · 23/05/2016 11:43

And I've never, in my many years of flying, heard of anyone being upgraded because they're good looking!

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/05/2016 11:50

hmcAsWas GrinGrinGrin

And I've never, in my many years of flying, heard of anyone being upgraded because they're good looking!
How long have you been doing this job?