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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 22:31

Quite

flappingbingowings · 20/05/2016 22:34

One of the main reasons for spending so much on a business calls flight is that you don't get the great unwashed stamping up and down next to you.

saffronwblue · 20/05/2016 22:37

Op if you had said that you were ptregnant and uncomfortable the fa still would have moved you back. They would have handed you over to an economy fa who might have encouraged you to walk around in the galley. Being pregnant and uncomfortable does not make you immune to the rules.

MrsKoala · 20/05/2016 22:38

Logical yes I would be fine with that because as far as I know all those people could just have happened to buy bc tickets anyway and still could be walking up and down the aisle anyway. As I said up thread I always thought of bc being the seat and service rather than the gangway too. Just as I might buy my ds with asd a bc ticket and we would be up and down the aisle screaming chattering most of the flight. It is still public transport.

SanityAssassin · 20/05/2016 22:43

If he OP has gone from having "swollen ankles" to "having contractions" within the 5 minutes she was walking then I think she owed it to everyone on t he plane to inform Cabin Crew - specially as she was "not close to her due date" - she wasn't that worried about herself or her baby to actually try and get some assistance (just a BC seat)

Stopyourhavering · 20/05/2016 22:53

Bet this is another thread that will end up in the papers tomorrow .....

SandyMcSandface · 20/05/2016 22:57

ffs poor OP is trying to have a baby here.

Haven't RTFT.

Fuck you (for Daily Mail purposes)

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 23:00

Sanity - not expecting you to RTFT, but at least RTFop.

She doesn't go from having swollen ankles to contractions in 5 minutes. She started walking because of the swollen ankles and Braxton Hicks. Do you know what Braxton Hicks is? Google is your friend.

As OP has said her extra legroom seat was fine, and it was just the sitting down for so long that was causing problems, it's unlikely she was going begging for a BC seat.

Let's hope that the next time you need a bit of help/sympathy that you don't encounter someone with your moral compass.

AlwaysNC · 20/05/2016 23:08

I do like the idea of having my user name as "fuck off daily mail", and I do see the importance of having the word fuck in every post to avoid screen grabbing.

OP, in the nicest possible way YABU, if you thought you were having contractions and scared, if y had asked the flight attendants, they would have bent over backwards to make you feel more comfortable. Perhaps the flight attendant though he was being reassuring/supportive by holding your arm.

Queenbean · 20/05/2016 23:09

The crew's drinks trolley is about 10 x the size of a pregnancy bump and they manage fine. Not sure how then the OP couldn't manage the economy aisles.

There was me thinking the compassionate thing to do would be to give up your business class seat and let the sick person have it.

Biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Next time I'll just book an economy seat and then waltz in to first and demand that someone swaps with me because I'm feeling a bit peaky shall I?

Cubtrouble · 20/05/2016 23:16

The air steward was rude. Especially if he said people had paid more than you.
If you aren't allowed in business class- why are business class people allowed in the economy cabin?

Unless you were barging people's seats and being a pain in the arse yanbu.

PurpleDaisies · 20/05/2016 23:19

If you aren't allowed in business class- why are business class people allowed in the economy cabin?

All passengers are allowed in the airport departure lounge. You have to pay extra to get into the first class lounge. It's the same on the plane.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone from business class in the economy section.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 20/05/2016 23:31

Loved this from a previous poster:

Why stop at business class? you should have at least had a moasy around first

Pretty much sums up the princess pregnancy entitlement syndrome.

Originalfoogirl · 20/05/2016 23:35

Have a word with the airline about the flight attendant's manner. But it's pretty obvious you don't go in to business class unless you've paid for the ticket, he was right to chuck you out. Perhaps if you had mentioned to the flight attendants you weren't feeling well, they would have offered you some help.

SanityAssassin · 20/05/2016 23:50

leel slow day here have read the full nauseating rubbish.

She got up for swollen ankles but by the time she had finished crying in the loo she was having contractions. As she posted in her opening post that she was not near due date I would have thought that anyone who was concerned for themselves or their baby which she says she is would have tried to gain assistance from flight crew rather than traipse round business class where she was not entitled to be and had no need to be.

Vixyboo · 21/05/2016 00:29

Complain.

Acknowledge that whilst the flight attendant made a valid point he went about it rudely and physically! If you had been a huge man would he havd handled you??

He needs some training on responding to pregnant women or perhaps even just people in general!

ollieplimsoles · 21/05/2016 00:36

Kind of shocked that someone in business class complained about this actually.

"excuse me fa, but there's a pregnant woman just wondering up and down the aisles, I didn't pay to see this please remove her.

The fa should not have touched you as well.
Sorry you felt upset op, I wouldn't have minded you there (not that I could afford business class)

RockMeMomma · 21/05/2016 00:44

Where's the op?
The Daily Fail is a useless rag I read the original op again, and think maybe she was paraphrasing or reading between the lines as opposed to quoting what the FA actually said, especially in front of other passengers. They are trained to avoid air rage, not antagonise passengers. I would love to hear his version of events The Daily Fail is a useless rag

RockMeMomma · 21/05/2016 00:47

If op was in pain maybe fa was holding her arm to support her incase she fainted?

pilpiloni · 21/05/2016 00:52

The few times I've flown business I certainly didn't pay for it and I'm ire most of the people in business don't pay for it either.

And I certainly couldn't care less if a pregnant woman walked up and down. How did any other passengers know that you weren't business?

Total bullshit.

You should complain. Your tiny 'crime' of being in business is dwarfed by the bullying and aggressive behavior of the cabin crew.

pilpiloni · 21/05/2016 00:58

Seems like a few posters here should start applying for jobs as cabin crew with the airlines you flew with, op

Unnecessary spitefulness

blinkowl · 21/05/2016 01:27

"How bloody precious can you be to think that someone walking past you in an aisle somehow reduces the amenity of your business class seat.

I'm sorry, but there is not a single long-winded justification on this thread that hasn't made me think 'twat'."

This ^^

blinkowl · 21/05/2016 01:30

Loving the fuck offs to the Daily Mail btw.

It's like MN has got anti-DM Tourettes all of a sudden. Grin

pilpiloni · 21/05/2016 01:32

Exactly.

And all these business class people who are so busy working or sleeping or enjoying their special treat seem to have had the time to record every single face of the passengers in business and screen everyone walking by to make sure they're not economy and then waste even more time complaining to cabin crew. How exhausting! They're obviously not concentrating on their work or sleeping if they have time to do that.

Obviously no one actually complained, the steward was just a bully.

blinkowl · 21/05/2016 01:54

"If op was in pain maybe fa was holding her arm to support her incase she fainted?"

Jesus wept! Could you bend over backwards any further to justify the FA's actions?

What happened to we believe you?

The FA touched the poster and spoke to her in a way that made her end up crying in the toilet.

I'm not suggesting it was sexual, but it was unwanted.

Why jump in to accuse her of lying?