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AIBU?

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Original poster

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
TheVillageTaxpayer · 20/05/2016 20:39

There are not different social rules for pregnant women, whatsoever. It appears a lot of pregnant women would like to think so, but that doesn't make it true.

Many if not most people are coping with difficult conditions that are far less of their own making than pregnancy, and not expecting special treatment at every step of the way.

And besides the business class/economy class restrictions are not social rules, they are commercial policies, legally enforceable, based on the contract one enters when one purchases a ticket.

Kanga59 · 20/05/2016 20:44

Why stop at business class? you should have at least had a moasy around first

KoalaDownUnder · 20/05/2016 20:52

Forget 'pregnant'. A person who was in a lot of pain and discomfort, needed to walk.

How bloody precious can you be to think that someone walking past you in an aisle somehow reduces the amenity of your business class seat.

I'm sorry, but there is not a single long-winded justification on this thread that hasn't made me think 'twat'.

OrangesandLemonsNow · 20/05/2016 20:58

There are, IMO, different social rules for pregnant women

Why is there? There could be any number of people on that plane with just as many needs as the OP.

Being pregnant doesn't suddenly give you the right to do whatever you want.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 21:04

Bloody hell...

LogicalThinking · 20/05/2016 21:18

So those of you who would be fine as a BC passenger for a pregnant woman walking up and down the aisle next to you, would you also be ok if there were 2 pregnant women, a man with a heart condition, a woman with a risk of a stroke and a teenager with ADHD?
Because the reality is, there is never going to be just one uncomfortable person in economy, who would be more comfortable walking around in business class.

Helmetbymidnight · 20/05/2016 21:25

They would be yes, because as far as they are concerned, business class is just full of rich feckers who 'earn a lot' going on their flash holidays, and it doesn't cross their mind that business class often includes people in shit jobs with lots of travel, and people who've scrimped and saved to fly in business as a treat, or because of their pregnancy, heart condition, bad back, poor knees, risk of stroke or ADHD.

Rascallsall · 20/05/2016 21:26

OP I am cabin crew. As you have realised we do discourage anyone wandering into premium cabins. HOWEVER the way the steward spoke to you and handled the situation was awful and I am not surprised you were in tears. If anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation please speak to the cabin crew working in your cabin, especially if you become unwell during the flight. Generally you will find us to be very helpful and caring. I am sorry the OP was not on one of my flights, but of course we can only act if we are told that there is a problem in the first place.

Costacoffeeplease · 20/05/2016 21:26

Surely the aisle is longer in economy - business only tends to be a dozen rows at most

flappingbingowings · 20/05/2016 21:46

I fly business class a lot, and I would be really annoyed if one of the plebs from cattle wandered in. It would make me choke on my champagne.

user1463231665 · 20/05/2016 21:53

I have never heard of an economy class passenger thinking they can walk into business class! Work harder, get a better job and buy a seat in businses class if you want to trespass into that area! People have such a nerve. They want something they haven't paid for.

Lelloteddy · 20/05/2016 21:55

Now you're just on the wind up User.......

TheVillageTaxpayer · 20/05/2016 21:56

Then again those entitled "fancy money" business-class travelers deserve what they get, eh? Grin

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 21:59

user stop being a twunt!

AddToBasket · 20/05/2016 22:02

OP, I think you should complain about how you were spoken to. Cabin crew expect manners from the passengers, they can try a bit of charm themselves.

However, like most posters, I do not think that economy passengers should be in BC unless an absolute emergency. This is because those BC passengers are subsidising the economy passengers and make the airline work financially.

Airlines NEED BC to be calm and tranquil because those BC passengers are picky: if Y airline is quieter than X airline those passengers will just book with the one they know won't definitely have pregnant people walking about.

It's not because BC passengers or staff lack compassion. It's because they need to know that everything will have been done to minimise disturbance.

But I think you should write to the airline. There was no need to speak to you like that.

PurpleDaisies · 20/05/2016 22:06

it's not because BC passengers or staff lack compassion. It's because they need to know that everything will have been done to minimise disturbance.

I'm not convinced by your argument here. I think the op would have been totally entitled to wander around business class if she had a business class ticket. She didn't so she shouldn't have been there full stop.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 20/05/2016 22:07

Why didn't the OP just call a steward and tell them she felt bad instead of tramping up and down the aisle, probably bumping into people and disturbing everyone on the plane?

They probably would have upgraded her for free.

Anyway, I don't believe her account of the steward (because it sounds a bit like a fantasy conversation that someone has later embellished) but since the daily mail is likely going to steal this story, hopefully the truth will come out either way! I hope if the OP is lying, she starts walking it back now. Because she's accused someone of 1) assault and 2) verbal abuse.

If he is outed by the media, this could actually be libel.

Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 22:11

I don't believe it either

I don't believe the conversation with Cc went like that.

TheVillageTaxpayer · 20/05/2016 22:19

I am skeptical because it just doesn't sound like something an FA would say. They are trained to handle this situation and recite scripted lines like "I'm sorry, BC is for BC-ticketed passengers only. Regulations require that you stay in economy"

the notion that an experienced FA would say "these people paid more than you" is hard to swallow. Unless he were being argued with repeatedly and then in exasperation I could see someone resorting to "Look, these people paid more than you did for these expensive accomodations and they are entitled to peace and quiet!" But it wouldn't be the first phrase to roll off his tongue.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 22:22

There are, IMO, different social rules for pregnant women.

No, no, no I've been pregnant twice and I don't want or need different rules. Why are pregnant women more important special than anyone else?

flappingbingowings · 20/05/2016 22:25

"Different social rule for pregnant women"

Ha ha ha what bullshit. If you want to go into business class, just fucking pay for it

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 22:27

There is lots about the op's story that is hard to swallow.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 22:28

That made no sense at all. Important or special. I blame the wine.

Only1scoop · 20/05/2016 22:28

I'm Crew, and the Op sounds like a scene from 'Come Fly With Me'.

In almost 20 years flying I've come across some rude characters but never anything like this.

Don't believe a word of the 'just because you're pregnant' bit either.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 22:30

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