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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
YoungGirlGrowingOld · 20/05/2016 17:17

So a £100 flight becomes £1000? Is it TEN TIMES better?

Yes. Yes, it is. (I only fly bc with work but economy is now RUINED for me!) Grin

FuriousFate · 20/05/2016 17:24

I used to work for an airline. I'd be interested to know which airline this is, as, quite honestly, I'm surprised that this happened in exactly the way the OP has said. Pregnancy is not an excuse for an upgrade, and nor should the OP have been allowed to wander into Business. That's just how it is. You get what you pay for.

OP - if your symptoms were as bad as you're saying they were, I'm surprised they didn't call Medivac and divert. I've known it happen before. From your description, you really don't sound like you were in a fit state to travel.

blinkowl · 20/05/2016 17:27

"the OP's symptoms could have been alleviated just as effectively by walking around the approximately two thirds of the plane that is occupied by economy."

She said it was cramped. Maybe she was finding it difficult to get around with her big bump? Economy is made for sitting down people, not pacing up and down pregnant people.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:29

I've been on a plane which was diverted for a medical emergency and that passenger was walking wounded by the time we landed. If you were in pain and having contractions they would have taken it seriously.

I suspect I'm talking to thin air by now.

Banderwassnatched · 20/05/2016 17:29

I can't see it. You're essentially buying a journey- the journey isn't even any shorter.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:31

I would definitely go BC if I could afford it. Sadly it's just a dream.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:31

blinkowl

The BC people have their extra space, nicer meals, better movies, space to sleep. But no, I don't think all that should trump the right of someone in a vulnerable group to be able to prevent themselves getting ill on the flight.

Agree 100% blinkowl. People are so concerned with others only getting what they're entitled to and not getting any extra above and beyond that. It's like if the other person gets a little extra care, then they feel diminished in some way. It's human nature but it's so depressing.

I'm imagining someone alone, and in pain, with no one to hold your hand, possibly scared. It's isolating, and you walk around to hopefully make it better. You're visibly pregnant, and instead of the FA asking if you're ok, they hold on to your arm as if you're a criminal and make you feel worse.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:34

Yes you are imagining leelu. That's exactly what you are doing.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:34

I'm surprised they didn't call Medivac and divert.

That would have been perfect revenge on the FA and BC pax 😜

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:35

There's rather a lot of jealousy on this thread. It's not pretty.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:35

So what are you doing, fireside ? Looking back with your crystal ball? I repeat, it's the INTERNET.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:37

I don't understand. I'm going by what the op actually said.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:39

So did I...what have I made up?

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:40

I know it's the internet and I have my own view about this particular thread. It's a debate as far as I can see and I love a good debate, but I'm not going to get all emotional about it. That way madness lies.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2016 17:40

Oh fireside, that's your mistake right there... going by what was actually written and not what was dreamt up in some heads... all those random thoughts, like little sour green sugarplums they were, dancing around up there...

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:41

I'm imagining someone alone, and in pain, with no one to hold your hand, possibly scared. It's isolating, and you walk around to hopefully make it better. You're visibly pregnant, and instead of the FA asking if you're ok, they hold on to your arm as if you're a criminal and make you feel worse.

This.

Look I have no desire to prolong this car crash of a thread. I expect the op is amazed at how it's turned out.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:42

Was the jealousy comment aimed at me?

I chose my current job partly because very litle travelling is required.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:42

So she wasn't in pain, alone, visibly pregnant?

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 17:44

How am I emotional? You're debating, and I'm emotional? Righhhht Grin

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 17:45

As my mother would say "I can't talk to you when you're like this".

I'm off to cook dinner.

GabsAlot · 20/05/2016 17:46

wow long thread

whilst i have sypathy maye just asking beforehand if u can walk through there or maybe sit there a while might have been better-of course he was rude but he might not have known u were pgnant

i havent read anywhere where the op says she was visibly prgnant

GabsAlot · 20/05/2016 17:47

sorry she did say she was quite pregnant and it was obvious

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 17:50

This thread has turned into a farce. It's rather amusing now (and before anyone pounces on me I'm not meaning the OP's initial problem but the ridiculousness of some of the responses).

Littlemisslovesspiders · 20/05/2016 17:51

I'm imagining

Which therefore isn't 'fact'.

CoolforKittyCats · 20/05/2016 17:51

This thread has turned into a farce. It's rather amusing now (and before anyone pounces on me I'm not meaning the OP's initial problem but the ridiculousness of some of the responses)

I agree