Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

Just remembered that I flew economy whilst in the throes of morning sickness a few weeks ago. The crew could not have been nicer - I boarded looking like this (sick not envy!) and told them what the issue was. They found me 4 seats together, got me extra bags, a cold flannel, water and then brought me snacks and ice cream when I was less green. (I missed the meal service). Credit where it's due - this was Emirates. Their economy is more crowded than most because they stuff in an extra row, but it was still possible to walk in the aisles run to the loo notwithstanding (small) bump. It's not in the crew's interests to be deliberately cruel to pregnant women and I really dont follow the feminist angst.

I may have led a charmed life but the only time I have seen crew be actively rude is when a pax is being a pain in the arse. Which is why I suspect the (long gone) OP is embroidering somewhat.

Some people have very active imaginations.

The first question is: should allowances be made for someone in distress. Yes, but op didn't need to be in bc so whilst she went in for relief it's right that she was asked to leave: it didn't benefit her being there.

Secondly, was the attendant right to speak to her as they did and then put their hand on her? No, that was unnecessary and unkind.

Thirdly, was op wrong to go in bc? Technically yes, but because she was distracted by her condition it's easy to see why she ended up there.

Finally, should the attendant have shown op some kindness on the flight? Yes, but it sounds like he was unaware of her distress. If he was, then he might have been kinder to her. One would hope.

Personally I'm now just waiting to see if anyone brings up the need for BF'ing mothers to demand business class seats...

I'm pretty sure we haven't had that added to the feminist, pregnancy, poverty entitlement list yet....

Economy is made for sitting down people. Not for pacing up and down pregnant people

Economy is made for the people who pay to use it. You seem to be completely ignoring the fact that there are plenty of valid and unavoidable reasons why someone might not be that comfortable in an economy seat.

What about someone who's overweight, exceptionally tall, has arthritis and needs to keep moving, people who are diabetic are advised to keep moving on planes, there are loads of people (men included!) who are in as special a circumstance or more as a healthy pregnant woman.

Business class can't be expected to cater for everyone who only wants to pay economy prices despite needing more room.

Some people have very active imaginations

Some people have a lot of empathy

I'd rather that than unbending rule-following.

We don't know how the flight attendant actually spoke. Or what exactly he said. Was it a gently taking of your arm? And some (possily) ill thought out words?

As someone who's a) been pregnant b) flown when pregnant c) travelled business class, my sympathies are with all of you.

Frankly I wouldn't venture into business class ever. There's a reason they usually are shut off with pleated curtains and wider, roomier seat: to be private, quiet and away from the masses!

None of the passengers in Business might have wanted to say anything to you directly but no doubt one of them asked the flight attendant to do it for them.

Sorry on this occasion, Business Class and Flight Attendant were in the right.

And what I've said since the beginning was that FA should have been polite and requested that OP go back to her seat.

It's fortunate for Business Class travellers that seats are not allocated according to generosity of spirit.

Except that no ones talking about allocating free BC seats, Clanger , the issue was with the aisle.

It beats me how anyone knew what seats the op was sitting in.

I have been on many a long haul flight & couldn't even recognise people in the next aisle returning from the bathroom, never mind getting hung up about what class they were!

Crazy

Personally I'm now just waiting to see if anyone brings up the need for BF'ing mothers to demand business class seats...

--

LOL. After the swimming pool thread I did expect to see something similar here :D

There they probably noticed her faffing with the curtains, which seem to be deliberately designed to be impenetrable!

Leelu, to really have empathy you have to extend your thoughts beyond only the person who's there in front of you and consider everyone. In this case, there is a large plane full of people all doing an 11 hour journey.

It's pretty much guaranteed that there will have been other people who were also uncomfortable and needing to move. Do you think the rules should be bent for everyone?

Im going against the grain and say Ynbu

Imo this is what us wrong with the world.. people have lost the art if being compassionate to others. Were all so far stuck up our arses and care to much about class.

It wouldnt have bothered me in the slightess and if any thing id have been concerend for you and asked if there was something i could do to help.

The steward sbould have asked what was wrong a d why you was walking up and down then he should have let you get on with it.
Who the fuck cares if some one spent more ti travel first class when a a pregnant woman is having pain and her ankles are swelling up.. walking up and down an ilse wasnt going to cause any one any hurt at all.

Who the fuck cares if some one spent more ti travel first class when a a pregnant woman is having pain and her ankles are swelling up.. walking up and down an ilse wasnt going to cause any one any hurt at all.

What about a non pregnant person walking up and down as they were in discomfort with cramps and ankles swelling?

YANBU Op

but for less than 5 minutes, a quick walk up and down?
It was only 5 minutes because he stopped you at that point, you would have carried on if you could. You had completed 2 circuits, he probably overlooked the first one, but felt he had to stop you after the second.

And nobody should be aggressive and put their hands on someone the way he did.
In what way was he aggressive? He touched your arm, presumably to get your attention.

that feel upset they have experienced ill treatment or abuse
Ill treatment or abuse? No, not even close. Possibly a slightly harsh cabin crew.

Most flights will have people on board who would benefit from more space for health or disability reasons. It's impossible to allow all and sundry to wander up and down the aisles in the wrong cabin.

Honestly I never knew you couldn't walk on the floor in business class. I assumed you paid for the seats and service and the floor was just a universal floor. Also I have walked thru first class on trains many times and it never occurred to me that the floor part of the carriage was first class too. You live and learn!

Not paying for business class but expecting to get a free upgrade is not much different from the people who choose not to pay the extra charge to sit together but expect to be accommodated anyway. You get what you pay for, it has nothing to do with whether you are male or female

It's not an issue of compassion at all.

At no point based on her posts did the OP actually tell anyone on the flight crew she was in pain.

She just decided to wander round the cabins and then hide out in the toilet.

I didn't know that being psychic was a a FA's job requirement.

I'd actually have sympathy here if she had actually explained she was in pain - but she didn't. The reaction had she done so would likely have been different (based on my FF experience - I've seen people in difficulty and the crew have been nothing but helpful).

She assumed that because she was visibly pregnant the rules didn't apply and got upset when she was told that wasn't the case

Business class isn't necessarily 10 times more than economy. I posted upthread that someone I know got offered the upgrade at the desk for a surprisingly modest amount. I estimate the extra cost was about 30-50% of the original ticket price.

Osolea

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, can I just say again that the issue here is not asking an EC passenger to move back to EC. That's fine. The issue here is the manner in which the FA did so. Why not just ask her to do so politely instead of making her feel like shit?

It's usually between 6 and 10 times more on routes from the ME to London, but that is with a flat bed. It depends on the airline though.

orange that would have been fine also.

I will say op should have said she was in pain and needed to walk for a few minutes