Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

It's civil rights. It's the nineties.

Oh, Apple there was this real peach of a poster who proclaimed she would give her a seat she paid extra for on a place just for 'a child's joy'. So I asked her for £100 for my children's joy and she never stumped up .

I took my 83 year old mother on Upper Class.
She grew up in real poverty. Has never had any money. At all. Flew for the first time ever as a grandmother. Never even had an extra legroom seat.

She cried. I've never heard anyone say thank you so often. They were bloody brilliant.
It was fantastic.

I can't see anywhere that OP actually told any of the flight attendants that she was feeling unwell. She says she didn't say anything back to rude flight attendant as she was so shocked, so it's entirely possible he didn't know she was in pain. He may not even have realised she was pregnant - not all women show much even when quite heavily pregnant depending on their shape.
It may be that if she had actually told someone that she felt unwell and needed to walk, that they would have let her do so in BC. I suspect that they just thought she was being nosy.

I flew business class for a few years, would probably of been sacked if I had given my seat up for misuse of company funds. Only ever noticed upgrades when economy was full and they could sell a few economy at top prices. I could imagine they would discourage given priority to a certain group as it quickly becomes a expectation. Was with a famous sportsman in booking queue demanding an upgrade as he would be hassled in economy but refused to pay the difference. They would not entertain him.

I completely believe that the FA would tell you that only passengers with a business class ticket were allowed in the business class cabin. Happens all the time.

I an struggling to believe that the exact words you stated were used...

This thread is moving on faster than I can keep up so have only read up to page 10. As a regular BC flyer who sometimes flies EC (as rarely as possible, I have to say) I can say - hand on heart - that even if you had booked a business class seat, I would have been pissed off with you walking up and down the aisles. I don't have money to throw away but I do prioritise our BC flights as something that I feel would make our trip just that bit better. Someone annoying the fuck out of me, my children, my husband, would be frowned upon. I definitely wouldn't complain but I would hope that the Air Steward would ask you to sit down in the seat that you've paid for. When I have paid almost £5000 each for this flight, I would like to assume that no one would be bothering us. It might not seem like a big issue for you, you might think that, because you're pregnant, then you can do whatever you like, but you can't. I've had 4 children, I know how difficult it can get, I know about the swollen ankles and Braxton hicks. But Braxton hicks is all they are, they are not contractions and they will not cause you to go into labour, doesn't matter what class you're in. I DO think that the attendant was a bit over zealous but I don't think that this was his first reaction. I've got to a stage in my life where I can pay for stuff, where I like the nicer things in life, where I can genuinely decide that I'd rather pay for something and have a better service. I wouldn't be overly keen on someone that hadn't paid for that, using the facilities that I had paid for. If I were sat in economy I would never dream of venturing into business. The same as I wouldn't venture into first if I'd paid for a BC flight.

It's extremely rare for the flight operator I use to upgrade, really really rare. And I agree with that. You get what you pay for. I'm not trying to be shitty or snobby, snobby is the last thing I am, I just think that you pay so much money for these flights that you should be allowed to enjoy them in peace. And peaceful, to me, is not someone constantly walking through the area that I've paid for and making a nuisance of themselves (and it would be a nuisance whatever class you travelled - I'll exclude going to the loo). To some people that might make me sound like the person I'm defending myself against above but it is what it is. I would not give up my seat for you, you are only pregnant (I'm assuming - rightly or wrongly - that this is your first?).

I've had some shitty Air Stewards so I can believe what you said about that but YABU. My husband just asked whether you would venture into the VIP area of a concert venue if you'd paid for the cheapest seat? I don't think that you would.

OP you are being incredibly unreasonable. I'm quite touchy feely and would hate to think that my touching someone's arm would be seen as abuse! I think that he was just trying to usher you away, quietly, from the area you shouldn't have been in. Can I ask how pregnant you actually are?

All this chat about Business Class reminded me that I was going to see if it's possible to upgrade my international flight in September when I'm going to the USA for a relatives wedding.

Just off the phone to BA, the cost of upgrading one leg of the flight - the bit back from US to UK is almost as much as the cost of my initial flight. So it won't be happening .

It's a sizable amount of money, for not a huge amount of difference in travelling experience. So therefore yes if I'd paid such a huge premium I wouldn't expect anyone who fancied a wander to toddle up and down the aisle and I would also expect the airline to preserve the split class aspect of the flight.

OP could just have spoken to the flight attendant to see if they could have any suggestions about where best to walk.

Or indeed having been advised to walk around frequently, not wait for 4 hrs before getting up. At least on the aisle seat there was the possibility of standing up and stretching frequently which may have alleviated the issue.

LittleLionMansMummy First Class passengers at Kings Cross aren't given more legroom and free coffee because they earn more, they are given it because they have chosen to pay for it and forgone the opportunity to spend that money on something else. They may not earn more than many passengers in second class but they chose to pay to minimise the risk of discomfort while travelling.

I travel second class and very occasionally have to stand when only unreserved seating is available, my choice. I spend a lot of money going to Michelin starred restaurants at least once a year, my choice.

First class travel isn't a necessity. Being slightly uncomfortable and cramped in a safe, warm train is not a violation of anyone's human rights.

Bathshua

I'm sorry for you, Op. I am a frequent flyer. I would not have cared if you were walking around with your pregnant self unless you had a squirrel on your head or were disrupting my fabulous in flight meal service.

Best stealthy boast ever

(I still say YANBU, OP).

When I was pregnant on holiday my appendix burst and I ended up in hospital - My insurance said they would fly me back first class to let me lie down - fucking flew Ryanair - I could have cried - still they did let me sit at the front!

I managed though

This is nothing to do with feminism and the class struggle - I am a feminist and socialist - it's bollox to do with that it's about a pouty pregnant woman who knew she was in the wrong wanting people to be outraged on her behalf.

It's shit being PG and travelling - I had an hours commute in a Mini 8 months gone - on the m6 - but at no point did I think I was entitled to flag down a BMW or Limo and demand the occupants swap cars so I could be more comfy

The OP could walk up and down and could have discussed with staff - politely - what other options might be available to stretch her legs

I'd also add that in all long haul flights I've been on (and I travel a lot) there is always a curtain that separates all the cabin classes (apart from on take off/landing) - so the OP presumably must have deliberately unfastened this to move between them. I would say that's a pretty sure indicator that she shouldn't be doing it, so I don't really buy the ignorance card tbh.

Equally all this bollocks about rich men in first class and us poor women in cattle - most people in business/first are there for work purposes. Very few are paying for themselves.

Again from my experience (flights to the US) the first/business cabins are fairly well distributed in terms of the sexes and given the number of laptops out rather than movie watching pretty much all of us are there to work - relentlessly trying to squash 5 days work into 3 whilst horribly jet lagged and facing the prospect on the Thursday red eye to get home to family just in time for the weekend that you spend horribly out of sync and exhausted, emerging only from the fog in time for work on Monday - yep this business travel's all glamour...

YABU, I have sympathy for you as I took a flight during pregnancy and felt the same way, but wandering around in Business Class isn't really the done thing and I would have expected the same response, if in a more polite manner.

It's definitely worth paying extra to fly business class for the extra room.....(Emirates is sheer luxury and you can sleep lying totally flat!)worth bearing in mind for future trips!

Pagwatch what a lovely thing to have done

And I've no doubt the cabin crew enjoyed you mum being there nearly as much as she did (well okay, perhaps not quite!!). After all it's just a job in the end, but to have someone so thrilled and appreciative must have been a real treat for them too

JeanandTonic

I definitely wouldn't complain but I would hope that the Air Steward would ask you to sit down in the seat that you've paid for.

So if a BC walked up and down the aisle in BC you would be hope the air steward tells them to sit down? I think not.

You sound seriously self-absorbed Jane. This was a woman in pain, she wasn't in BC for a laugh. Find some compassion.

And no one gives a shit if YOU'RE touchy feely, there was no need for the air steward to hold her by the arm, he just needed to ask her politely to go back to EC.

She's bloody lovely Puzzled - I was incredibly lucky to be able to do it.

The above post made me sound like a cunt on rereading it. I'm not, never have been and never will be (fingers crossed).

Last time I flew Business the whole of Economy used the Business Class loos.

At one stage the queue was like the one in St Pancras at rush hour.

Stewards didn't say a thing.

How far pregnant are you? Surprised you can fly if you are so far into the pregnancy.

I still don't understand why you couldn't just walk up & down the economy part of the plane. It's much longer than the Business section.

And why didn't you ask the advice of the cabin crew about what you could do to help your situation? Or at least tell them you weren't feeling well, and did they mind if you hung out at the back.

Lots of people become extremely uncomfortable when travelling - my elderly mother gets the start of DVT, so she travels Business class, long haul (and she has to travel really long haul). You take that responsibility, or ask for an upgrade, or don't fly.

leeli66

I absolutely would if they were annoying me and other guests. As I said, I wouldn't ask them to but would hope that the air stewards would do their job sufficiently. I would probably sit there stewing, wishing they would fuck off. Having said that, when a fellow BC flyer constantly marched up and down the aisles an hour and a half from landing and then took it upon herself to lean on my cabin and look out of my window for 10 minutes I did tell her (not nastily but quite to the point) that she should not invade my personal space while I was trying to relax and could she look out of her own window. It was akin to someone peering in my living room window or my car window when I was sat in there. No. Go and pace somewhere else, look out of your own window, walk in the area that you've paid to be in. I don't like personal space invaders and yes, I would have wanted OP to be somewhere else, not next to me. That is, in fact, what I've paid for.

I agree Jean - I had a snorer on my 17 hour bc flight yesterday. Nothing can be done because (unlike the OP) it couldn't be avoided but it was very irritating not to be able to sleep after paying £5,000 for the ticket....

P.s. I'm not self absorbed, just want what I pay for which happens to not include pregnant women who think that, just because they're pregnant, they can get their own way. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hmm. I agree with the majority that if you haven't paid for business class you shouldn't be in that section

BUT

I wonder if it would have been an issue you walking up and down (which was used as the excuse to get rid) if you had paid an extra thousand or whatever to be in that section to start with. I mean, you would have been just as 'disruptive' right?

Also the flight attendant sounds like a dick and I would complain about him. Yes you needed to be shifted away from whoever complained that someone dared walk near them..but there was no need to go about it the way he did. If he actually did say the stuff in the OP