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Original poster

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2016 14:44

I'll answer your question, Worra, as OP possibly still hasn't seen it. Yes, I would agree, all of those conditions would mean the sufferer would need to wander up and down the plane to try to avoid a DVT.

Perhaps there could have been a starting pistol and a prize for the winner? There would at least need to be directional signing and possibly, if there are a lot of perambulating passengers, some temporary traffic lights? Grin

OP... put this behind you. It's not worth getting your blood pressure up over something that's done and dusted now. If you ever need to move about, (pregnant or not), the galley is a good place to be (obviously not during serving, passengers getting on or off the plane, or when the seatbelt sign is on and flight crew are in their jump seats...but any other time.

expatinscotland · 20/05/2016 14:45

'This was a woman in pain, she wasn't in BC for a laugh. Find some compassion. '

She said she was uncomfortable.

IFailDaily · 20/05/2016 14:48

He was being a jobsworth OP. I suspect the travellers in BC barely noticed you - for all they knew, you could have been travelling BC too!
Try and forget the experience. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 20/05/2016 14:49

I have experienced someone trying to do yoga on their lie-flat bed in the FC pod next to me once - arse up in the air doing the downward facing dog.... that was certainly pretty distracting :-)

Fortunately the cabin staff had a word before the moves got any more enthusiastic...

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 14:49

But she didn't need to be in BC either. Why oh why is this so hard to grasp.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 14:49

expat

From the OP:

I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 14:53

I agree Jean - I had a snorer on my 17 hour bc flight yesterday. Nothing can be done because (unlike the OP) it couldn't be avoided but it was very irritating not to be able to sleep after paying £5,000 for the ticket....

Not being able to sleep and being in pain (and alone) are very different things.

Yakari · 20/05/2016 14:54

Sorry the Op reads like she wanted the steward to let her sit in BC and so paced waiting for the offer. EC is tight but not that tight regardless of how uncomfortable she felt.
And even if she wasn't trying g it on, he was probably use to chancers who did and so dealt with it on that basis hence the remark about who paid more.
Chances are Op will complain and hope for an offer from the airline for an upgrade on the next flight.

Vickyyyy · 20/05/2016 14:54

I'm not sure if anyone heard. The BC section was mostly empty, maybe 10 people in 30 seats?

--

This part makes me think there is a chance you 'wandered' into business class hoping for a free upgrade too. Which to be fair would have been nice of them to do but if it got round that this happened every pregnant woman would do it. Hell I might even get pregnant again just to be able to fly first class for once Grin

EatsShitAndLeaves · 20/05/2016 14:56

If she was in pain then the correct thing to do would have been to speak to the FA in her section and ask if they could do anything to help. Not go walkabout in other cabins and then lock herself in the bathroom for ages "also inconveniencing people".

If she had spoken out she might very well have been moved to BC tbh if seats were available.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 20/05/2016 14:56

leelu I was also alone and I am pregnant. I had a bc ticket though - it is perfectly reasonable to expect the crew to deal with avoidable disturbance give the ticket price.

firesidechat · 20/05/2016 14:57

Why didn't she alert someone if she was in horrible pain and having contractions (the op said earlier that they were in fact BH)? The op also said The problem was my ankles.

I have high blood pressure and am prone to swollen ankles on flights. I don't feel the need to invade BC because it's unnecessary and could cause embarrassing moments like the op experienced.

whattodowiththepoo · 20/05/2016 14:58

Yabu

Banderwassnatched · 20/05/2016 14:59

5 minutes to walk up and down a tiny corridor twice? I hate pacing and the extreme slowness would have bothered me. I'd have been holding my breath expecting you to keel over. It must take seconds to walk that corridoor- to take two and a half minutes each pass, you'd have to be so slow as to be practically immobile.

expatinscotland · 20/05/2016 15:00

Then she wasn't fit to fly, lee. Don't see why that means she gets to do whatever she wants on an aircraft and really hope if she is this unwell and having contractions that she is back home and has seen a midwife. But methinks she's created a tempest in a teacup to get an upgrade and then she'll magically have a lovely flight.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 20/05/2016 15:05

Wow, been away for a few hours and the thread has now morphed into a class/feminst struggle against the patriarchic business class!

One thing that is worth noting is that business and first class subsidise economy class by some margin. The reason you can fly to Thailand or New York for £450 is because those folk up front (or their employers) are paying several grand for their seat. Now, lets say an new company called Socialist Airways was founded and their mission plan was to have one class of long haul ticket whereby everyone experienced the same service at the same price. How long do you think that wil last as a commercial enterprise when their fixed price tickets to Miami all cost £800 each (the sum required to cover their costs and make a small profit) and the multi class competitors are charging £380 for the same trip?

leelu66 · 20/05/2016 15:13

I think she was in pain because of the flight! She's said she won't do it again.

Yakari · 20/05/2016 15:17

Thing is even if the Op was in genuine pain - unexpectedly - I'm sure the steward has dealt with hundreds of people each with their own excuse. She might just have been the last straw of many many many other people hoping to get a BC seat as it was half empty. Does it make it right - probably not, but it is understandable

kawliga · 20/05/2016 15:18

Flight attendants are often rude. I've had them rude to me before. You can complain about rudeness if you want but this was not an illustration of man's inhumanity to man. It was a simple case of rudeness.

OP it's nothing to do with your baby, ok? It's also nothing to do with whether the people sitting in their correct seats are wealthy or not.

It's very hard when people are rude to you and you have your baby or young dc with you. It feels like they have dissed the baby. You feel like 'how dare he be rude to me when I'm carrying a baby?' I get it. It's not rational though.

needastrongone · 20/05/2016 15:20

puzzled, right destination, wrong carrier Smile We are flying on the Dreamliner, the price was vastly different when I first called them for a quote. To be honest, if I added on the cost of food, drink, lounge passes (which are included) and sitting together, it's a no brainer. I don't mind if it ain't 'proper' BC!

DH flies business loads, for the reasons that folk have stated previously, by myself and the DC have never done so. I am looking forward to it.

I shall be suitably condescending to any pregnant women that wander up and down my aisle Grin

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/05/2016 15:25

I can't believe this is still going!

Strokethefurrywall · 20/05/2016 15:47

Ah this thread has everything! Class war, feminism, exceptionally rude Airline staff, entitlement, pregnancy. It's brilliant!

And as per usual, I agree with PaulAnkaTheDog and Worra

FoggyBottom · 20/05/2016 15:53

If she was in pain then the correct thing to do would have been to speak to the FA in her section and ask if they could do anything to help. Not go walkabout in other cabins and then lock herself in the bathroom for ages "also inconveniencing people"

Yup. I've flown alone & in pain: bad flu, broken limb. Needs must - one copes. I coped with my badly broken arm all on my little ownsome (dominant hand too), with nary so much as a cry for help & managed my suitcase & cabin bag. It can be done. Although I had to fly - if I'd had the luxury of not working no way would I have got on that plane.

If you need help, talk to the cabin crew - they'll usually invite you to hang out with them in the galley, and you can stay on your feet with a bit of space.

CoolforKittyCats · 20/05/2016 15:55

If you are rich and male you are more likely to be in a place with space to move about, and no one being rude to you.

Same if you are rich and female.

If you are female and not rich you are more likely to be somewhere cramped and have someone be rude to you if you step out if it.

Same if you are not rich and male.

--just added the bits you left out.

MatildaTheCat · 20/05/2016 16:03

I'm female, not rich and have a bad pain condition. I cannot fly economy for more than a couple of hours. I book and pay for the seat that I can cope with. If the BC section had plenty of space the OP could have bought a seat there and legitimately walked around as much as she wanted. Or sat back and stretched her legs.

She didn't.