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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

819 replies

fatandembarrassed · 20/05/2016 09:20

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 20/05/2016 12:42

I'm not really understanding this thread. It takes some balls to casually enter BC and have a bit of a wander and yet she is reduced to crying in the loos by being asked to leave.

AppleSetsSail · 20/05/2016 12:43

Whether someone complained hardly matters. As has been rightly noted, you'd have to be a complete dick to complain about a pregnant woman pacing in the aisles. I don't think you'd have to be a dick to register the pacing and feel a bit of irritation.

Fedupagain1975 · 20/05/2016 12:46

As someone who often flys business class, I would of had no idea whether you were meant to be there or not. Personally I would not of complained, about you. Love to know which airline! I would make a complaint if I was you. Such a shame that people can't be more understanding.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 20/05/2016 12:46

Yabvu. Yes he was ride and should have worded it better but you should have stayed in economy. Plenty aisle room to walk about. Sounds like you were just looking for a nosey about or hoping a steward would take potty and upgrade you.

I regularly fly business and pay probably 3-4 times the cost of your eve only ticket. I pay it for space and for peace. You want that. You pay for t.

harshbuttrue1980 · 20/05/2016 12:47

You were unreasonable - being pregnant doesn't entitle you to use a service that you haven't paid for. However, he was also being unreasonable - he sounds like he had no manners, and he shouldn't have put his hands on you.

Mari50 · 20/05/2016 12:49

YABvU and despite the majority of posters saying so you have repeatedly defended yourself and seem convinced you had a right to wander into BC. It's fairly well known and accepted that you don't wander between classes in aircraft, if you wanted more space then you should've paid for it. How far along actually are you? And hopefully you had compression stockings on.

rookiemere · 20/05/2016 12:50

I've never been lucky enough to be in anything except economy apart from once when upgraded for a very short flight. The reason being is that it is very expensive.

Air flight attendant appears to have been brusque to the OP, but surely the curtains in front of the business section might have been a bit of a clue that it wasn't for general use.

OP may not have been doing much harm walking up and down the aisle, but at the end of the day people have paid a premium to be in that area and if you're not meant to be there, then you shouldn't be.

OP says she "would never hesitate to give my BC seat away to a distressed pregnant woman, or an elderly person taken ill, for example.".

I must be a right old sourpuss because if I'm ever fortunate enough to get upgraded or to pay the significant premium to fly in a better class than I paid for, I won't be moving my fat rump for anyone unless they collapse on top of me.

And yes if the pregnant woman from Economy pacing the aisle stood between me getting my glass of champagne, I'd be a bit annoyed about it. I wouldn't complain out loud though as I'm British.

Janeymoo50 · 20/05/2016 12:51

As usual, we get one side of the story. Not one of us knows how rude (or perhaps just firm) the crew member was. There was no need to wonder around in the FC section. YABU , sorry.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/05/2016 12:53

I think if I was trying to sleep in BC and op did this call me a dick but I may have complained especially after her second circuit.

My friend the air hostess works for Virgin I think upper/first class and part of her role involved massages (shoulder etc) if that's what you pay for (never had that treatment sadly) you want peace and quiet.

Also I think FA in this case his hand on op arm could've been tactile as nice!

SuperFlyHigh · 20/05/2016 12:55

harsh hand on arm means tactile and also firmly encouraging to leave the area. What's wrong in that?! He didn't drag OP out of BC by her arm!

blindsider · 20/05/2016 12:56

Hardly surprising that the FA was brusque (we only have OP's word for that) considering he was telling someone who knew they were in the wrong from doing that thing.

specialsubject · 20/05/2016 13:00

entirely valid action from the steward, BUT very badly handled if the account is correct.

I'm afraid being upduffed doesn't provide total 'get out of jail free' to break all rules.

Penfold007 · 20/05/2016 13:00

OP just how many weeks pregnant are you and will you be able to fly home?

LunaLoveg00d · 20/05/2016 13:01

Inappropriate touching, marching cabin crew, distress, embarrassment, humiliation, crying in the toilets - drama much??

I am rapidly forming the opinion that some people just grab any minor event and blow it up out of ALL proportion.

In the nicest way possible, GET A GRIP.

blinkowl · 20/05/2016 13:01

"Disagreeing with OP doesn't equal reminding people to 'know your place'. "

Simply disagreeing, no. But this kind of thing, yes ...

"she shouldn't have been in Business class end of. She says economy was cramped so effectively she was enjoying freedom of movement she hadn't paid for."

I've noticed there's a lot of that on AIBU recently. People telling other posters off for not following "the rules" without any critical thinking about the bigger picture and whether the rules themselves are reasonable or not.

Figgygal · 20/05/2016 13:01

Sorry you were in the wrong no matter how rude FA was.

plane must have been large enough for you to walk in economy

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 20/05/2016 13:04

I must be a right old sourpuss because if I'm ever fortunate enough to get upgraded or to pay the significant premium to fly in a better class than I paid for, I won't be moving my fat rump for anyone unless they collapse on top of me.

Rookie can I join you in sourpuss corner please? I couldn't agree more...

needastrongone · 20/05/2016 13:06

Is there a security aspect to this too?

Look, I appreciate that the OP is likely to hardly look like a threat or a terrorist (!!), but the cabin crew must be on high alert at the moment surely?

There must be protocol and procedure to be strictly adhered to?

This has nothing to do with class at all imho.

AppleSetsSail · 20/05/2016 13:07

I've noticed there's a lot of that on AIBU recently. People telling other posters off for not following "the rules" without any critical thinking about the bigger picture and whether the rules themselves are reasonable or not.

I can't see how this rule is unreasonable. BC tickets cost more money because, among other things, the cabin is better; more roomy, fewer people.

blindsider · 20/05/2016 13:08

Blinkowl

You are barking - it has nothing to do with knowing your place it is about receiving a service you have paid for. At the risk of getting flamed I am well capable of flying Business Class, I choose not to as I don't think it represents VFM.

The OP admits that she wandered into BC as economy was cramped so she was well aware that she was receiving 'leg room' her ticket didn't entitle her to. The fact she is pregnant is irrelevant.

needastrongone · 20/05/2016 13:08

And, entirely off topic, but we've just upgraded to business for a long haul flight in August, 4 adult prices due to teen DC. It cost £80 extra each....Smile

AppleSetsSail · 20/05/2016 13:10

And, entirely off topic, but we've just upgraded to business for a long haul flight in August, 4 adult prices due to teen DC. It cost £80 extra each....

I wonder if this was an error? Well done!

blindsider · 20/05/2016 13:11

£80 ?? Shock

they must be expecting an empty plane.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 20/05/2016 13:12

need yes there are rules to prevent people moving between cabins. The FA was absolutely correct. He was probably shitting himself that he didn't spot her sooner.

I was told off for "congregating" outside the loo in ec on a flight to the US. (I.e. Gassing with a total stranger whilst waiting to pee). The FA was very polite - congregating in the aisles was apparently banned by US aviation rules post 9/11. I didn't cry though!

LightDrizzle · 20/05/2016 13:12

You were cheeky, he was unnecessarily rude.
Lucky that cabin crew have got those flying trolleys so they can get down the Economy aisles!