Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

How were you planning to get back home, if you're not going to fly?
If BC was less than half full, why didn't you buy a BC ticket instead of an EC ticket when booking your flight?

Op is aware she wbu, if she wanted the benefits of FC, she should have paid for it. I presume she thought hoped, she would be offered a free upgrade when they saw that she was heavily pregnant, but they didn't.
The FA was rude but the he was correct to point out why op needed to leave the BC.

I agree. This is in AIBU and threads like this are bound to get the small minded folk out of the woodwork who love to remind you to to know your place.

It's not about knowing your place in the class system, it's about knowing your place on the plane according to how much you have paid. I travelled in economy class and a famous actress was sitting a few seats away. No one shooed her into bc because she had presumably paid for economy and not a higher class.

Nor my question about if she'd be offended about him touching her arm if he was escorting her in to Business Class, Worra.

Flight attendants are often, IMO, seen as glorified waiters. However they have many responsibilities including dealing with potential security issues, which is why they have to deal with this sort of thing abruptly.
The OP knows she wasn't drunk, about to kick off, trying to blag a better seat, or whatever. The FA didn't, and I will put money on it that 99% of similar situations they deal with are somebody causing trouble.

It's perfectly possible to walk around a plane without going into the bc or fc section. If flying economy I tend to do lots of stretches by the door.

However if you want to be in bc then you need to pay for a bc ticket.

I am really dubious about some aspects of the OP though. Every time I have flown long haul they upgrade ec passengers (eg frequent flyers) to make room in economy so they can sell more seats. It makes no economic sense to leave bc mostly empty. Also fa's have to remove people who are not in their own section. If it happened in the way the OP says then the FA was rude (but still correct) but I suspect there is more to this exchange than the OP is letting on. The "abuse" comments are also pretty ridiculous - a firm "take your hand off my arm please" could have knocked that on the head in 5 seconds...

Flight attendants are usually very polite, I don't think a complaint to the airline would go amiss over his tone. However, if you wanted to be in business class, you should have paid for business class, you're not meant to wander in there.

For those who say 'What sort of a wanker would complain about a pregnant woman walking around in BC!' - you're missing the point.

The airlines don't endeavour to create a sense of languid hush in BC to avoid complaints. They're doing it so that the BC customers find it discernibly more peaceful.

This would make a terrific story for the Daily Mail to pick up on. It could even go viral. Imagine the sad face you could make to accompany the story!

Pish and piffle - all of it!

Indeed Paul

This is in AIBU and threads like this are bound to get the small minded folk out of the woodwork who love to remind you to to know your place.

Disagreeing with OP doesn't equal reminding people to 'know your place'. Ridiculous to suggest it does.

VimFuego101

'Flight attendants are usually very polite'

I gather you're not a frequent flyer, VimF.

Very surprised that the OP wasn't aware that Business Class is strictly off limits unless you have paid for a BC ticket. Pregnant or not. TBH I would have thought it was crystal clear.
The steward could certainly have been more polite and tactful, but in essence he was just doing his job. And I dare say he was irritated at having to point out something that should have been so obvious.

I'm sorry you felt upset and embarrassed. It's horrid to be told off even when you know you're in the wrong
But, he was right to ask you to leave. Airlines are very strict about this and he was following rules.
Yes he sounds brusque/rude but many of the people in BC/FC consider they have paid extra to be treated like VIPs and that includes no unnecessary disturbance. (My husband once went on a BC flight where a child screamed the whole way - that was tough as mother and child had booked BC seats, but I digress).
I can see that he seemed rude to the point of insult but I can imagine he was trying to swiftly address the situation BEFORE any complaints were made, and in such a way that it was clear there could be no recurrence. You sound like a sensitive soul but many people are incredibly thick skinned and will continue to try it on unless nipped in the bud.
I do think placing his hands on you was a step too far (you hadn't refused to leave or been aggressive) and if you have anything to complain about, it's that (but only that).

YABU.
you didn't pay for business class, therefore you can't go in there.
the steward was rude but you did something you shouldn't have.

Yabu Ive been pregnant three times last one was horrendous but I wouldn't of seen it acceptable to go into a cabin that was a different class. I have travelled with my ex who was disabled (He had excessive metal work in his leg due to having cancer as a teen) he has restrictions with movement but didn't see it as an excuse to waltz into business class due to his disability. As worra stated they would have to let a lot people have access if they allowed people on medical basis. Therefore people paying the extra wouldn't have the benefit of paying business class. There's a reason people pay business class so they are away from the main plane. You could of easily booked business class yourself you choose not to. Staff shouldn't be rude but could it be the way you misinterpreted his manner? He could of been having a bad day and several people attempted to access the business class section.

Op I agree the flight attendant shouldn't have put his hands on you, and talking about others having paid more was rude.

However, you should not have been in business class. Do you think with hindsight that you were unreasonable in being there?

I am also pregnant and have been flying a bit, but have been upgrading to business class.

On my last flight DH and the kids (they are not little) were in economy and I was in business (we were visiting his family, and I thought they should go without me. The bump in cost was his way to bring me to his mothers house because he has more fun when I am there).

I kept popping into economy to check on them (assuage my guilt), every time I came back to business a flight attendent was ready to pounce and then smiled as they saw it was me. You can go down, but not up.

Lurcioagain

You were not doing anything wrong. Pregnant or not, it is perfectly normalfor people to get up to stretch their legs on long-haul flights.*

Nonsense - she shouldn't have been in Business class end of. She says economy was cramped so effectively she was enjoying freedom of movement she hadn't paid for.

Do we know with certainty that no one complained? The OP says that no one in business class seemed bothered, but that doesn't mean that there were no complaints. IMO anyone complaining about the OP under these circumstances would have been an arse, so let's hope the business class passengers were not of that ilk.

Amused by the outrage at the perceived "elite granny" slight, when the OP's properly placed comma made it perfectly clear she was addressing a PP whose username included the word "granny."

You can't go pacing up and down business class if you don't have a ticket! The idea is actually making me lol a bit. I'd be like "wtf is she doing" but I doubt I would've complained.

But the flight attended sounds like he was a bit of a dick about it.

Do we know with certainty that no one complained?

No we don't. It's all assumption.

Do we know with certainty that no one complained?

Why does it make any difference? She wasn't supposed to be there.

The likelihood is that no one complained because I can't imagine the op would have left that little titbit out. There were only 10 passengers, so I imagine that the op would have seen someone talk to the FA prior to the incident.

Why do some posters need to have a passenger complain rather than accept that the FA was doing their job?

"I hope that if I had been a business-class passenger on that flight I wouldn't have ben so self-important as to complain about a pregnant woman in discomfort walking up and down a little in - shock! - my super-exclusive section.

The flight attendant may have been technically in the right but his way of putting it was shocking. There would be a big fat complaint coming from me - or prhaps from my dh, as (sadly) sometimes men still get further with these things."

Agree with this.

"There's a lot of assumption that it's toffs that use business class just for extra comfort. A lot of, er business folk us, er business class too. DH will often have to step off the plane and go straight to site."

And?

I can't see that the OP would have affected your husband at all.

No, people who have paid for economy should not go and sit in a business class seat. They should not eat a business class meal, and they should not use the business class loos.

But the aisles? Really? They are THAT precious that a person in more-than-usual discomfort can't even use those?