To keep DS off on Sports Day?

[NickNacks]

I'm really upset so please be gentle if I am being unreasonable.

I had a call from Ds1 school today to say he'd had a break down (her words) in PE today. He was in such a state that the pastoral leader was called to calm him and she took him off to her office for a couple of hours.

The crux of it is, he's being bullied and today a comment about him probably not being strong enough to throw shot put as he was stepping up to take his go just made him snap and weeks of incidences and problems that he'd been bottling up just came flooding out.

He's been chosen by his house sports captain to run a race that he will almost definitely come last and he's so emotionally that I know it will make him cry on the sports field. Adding fuel to the fire if you will.

School are being very good. The pastoral leader has already spoken to the children involved (ironically these are his friends!) and referred Ds1 to a one to one therapy course in school aimed to boost his self esteem and support his emotional wellbeing. We are also working on this at home.

So would you (and should I....) keep him off school for sports day? I know it isn't right to avoid things we find hard but I just can't put him through it.

Forgot to say he is 12, yr 7 but we are in a three tier system here so not at secondary (for some reason this always comes up when I talk about my children's schooling and I get moaned at for not mentioning it).

I would keep him off. When I was in Y6 (way back in 1978), I was told that I would have to take part in a race on the dreaded Sports day to represent my house team as I was the only girl in my class in that particular house. I was fat, crap at running and knew that I would be a major figure of fun if I were to attempt to wobble around the race track in my spray on PE shorts. So I begged my mom to let me stay off, and she did. It hasn't ruined my life, and it hasn't taught me that I should shy away from difficult situations. As a Primary teacher myself, I never put the children in my care into awkward situations which they would find uncomfortable. I always give them the option of deciding for themselves if they want to read aloud/demonstrate a move in PE etc etc They always have the option of saying 'No thank you'. Your son will gain nothing from taking part in Sports day. PE, in my opinion, is a load of shite anyway.

PE, in my opinion, is a load of shite anyway

Nearly right. The purpose of compulsory games is not to make kids fit - it is to make them resourceful in finding ways to avoid them.

Schools in this country - state and fee-paying, boys' and girls' and mixed - need to get out from under the long shadow of Arnold of Rugby and treat games and PE as what they should be - pastimes for those who like them. No better and no worse than other more celebral pastimes such as reading or chess.

I still recall a running race where I was a good half a lap behind even the next house. I stopped running, burst into tears and walked the rest of the way. I have never been any good at sports but running was a particular weakness. That was 30+ years ago and I still remember it.

My then 7 year old came almost last in a running race last year. She crossed the line, burst into tears and came up to me demanding to go home. It was the first activity of that sports day and I had to comfort and cajole whilst walking her back to the rest of her class, even though all I wanted to do was cry myself at history repeating.

Speak to the school, see if there is an event that is less obviously competitive or if he can be support elsewhere? I bloody hate competitive sports days, nothing else picks on a particular talent in public that all children have to participate in. If my child was being bullied as a result, and I could prevent that, I would.

pleb you sound ace!

Phleb, you are my new hero

Keep him home. I skipped every sports day and it never hurt me to do that. I had a sport I did that wasn't done at school and I skipped a lot of school PE to do my own sport as well. Hated PE.

Yes keep him home. We're a sporty family and love sports day but DGS hates school trips so he doesn't go. Doesn't hurt anybody and all forgotten the next day.