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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU about my (future)brother in law proposing to my (future) sister in law so close to my proposal?

115 replies

TaliaTalksAlot84 · 19/05/2016 18:28

I'll try to keep this short, as I tend to ramble.
My oh said last April that he'd booked for us to go away for our 10 year anniversary next March (this year) to Paris.
While their hed planned lots of activities and things to do (not like him at all) and (long story short) he very romantically proposed. This is the man that got me a new mop and bucket for valentines day haha. Turns out his entire family new since last April he was going to propose.
His sister has been with her oh 12 years.
We went for (his) family get together in April and her oh proposed in front of her family, not even 4 weeks after my oh proposed! While I am happy I'm annoyed too. My oh mum knew my bil was going to propose and he'd been planning to do it for an entire 4 weeks! I don't see why he couldn't of waited a bit longer. My oh mum then calls all the aunts etc to say my sil is engaged but didn't even mention my ohs engagement (those that don't have Facebook didn't know, one aunt that did said couldn't he of waited a bit not fair on Phil and talia).
We have booked to get married next may, my sil is looking at 2 weeks after or 3 weeks before our date, because her friends are getting married later in the year and she can't be so close to theirs! Her mum and dad agree.
AIBU in

  1. being miffed
  2. asking her to give us a bit more time between our weddings?
OP posts:
Vixxfacee · 19/05/2016 18:28

Yabu it's up to them when they get engaged and married. It's not all about you.

StealthPolarBear · 19/05/2016 18:29

What are you worried about

carabos · 19/05/2016 18:30

This one's got threadthathaseverythingzilla written all over it.

Flisspaps · 19/05/2016 18:30

YABU

TaliaTalksAlot84 · 19/05/2016 18:30

Sorry it may my partner and his sisters get together

OP posts:
Coldtoeswarmheart · 19/05/2016 18:30

YABU.

Have you used your real names in your OP?

StealthPolarBear · 19/05/2016 18:31

What does that mean? It may what?

AintNobodyHereButUsKittens · 19/05/2016 18:31

YABU. Honestly. Take a deep breath and a grip because these people will be your family for the next fifty years.

Familyof3or4 · 19/05/2016 18:32

Yabvu, I can't see why they should wait just because your dp told his family ages ago that he was going to propose

ThirstyNell · 19/05/2016 18:32

You should all stop telling all the fammmley about your plans, and grow up. And not cool to name your Bil and Sil.

FeckinCrutches · 19/05/2016 18:33

Get over yourself.

Pagwatch · 19/05/2016 18:33

Golly.

DailyFaily · 19/05/2016 18:34

YABU. For all you know he might have been planning to propose for ages and your DP stole his thunder! I really don't see the issue with your weddings being 3 weeks apart Confused

ScrambledSmegs · 19/05/2016 18:34

Gosh.

NannawifeofBaldr · 19/05/2016 18:34

Sorry you are soooooo unreasonable.

Your wedding is about you, it is important to you. For everyone else it's just a lovely way to spend a Saturday.

How long exactly did you think they should have waited between proposals? What would have been acceptable? 3 months, 6 months?

I mean this kindly- get a grip in yourself. A bridezilla is attractive to nobody.

Their wedding and yours are completely separate entities and nothing to do with each other.

NickiFury · 19/05/2016 18:35

Dear me, you remind me of a friend of mine who cried and flounced off when I told her that we were going to the same destination as her on our honeymoon (18 months apart and I didn't even know she was going there) a mutual friend said "what's the problem? It's an Island, it's not like you're going to wear it out" i.e. My going there had no impact whatsoever on her going there, just like this proposal has no impact whatsoever on yours.

crabbiearses · 19/05/2016 18:35

get a grip , you sound like a bridezilla self absorbed person already, maybe they just want to get engaged and dint feel they had to consider you.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 19/05/2016 18:35

Yabu

boobtaper · 19/05/2016 18:36

grow up. and boke at getting engaged in Paris

Alisvolatpropiis · 19/05/2016 18:36

Yabu

TaliaTalksAlot84 · 19/05/2016 18:37

My issue is with the wedding being 3 weeks apart. His family live miles away so will have to pay for accommodation etc for her wedding then 3 weeks later ours or ours then theirs

OP posts:
Energumene · 19/05/2016 18:37

YABU to be miffed about the timing of the proposal. That's his business, not yours. As for wedding timings, YANBU as it's just common sense that two weddings in the family three weeks apart has the potential to be a nightmare for organisation, attendance, competitive wedding planning, etc.

You're already upset they've stolen your thunder with the engagement. So I can't see you coping with their wedding three weeks after yours, and worrying that people will make unfavourable comparisons. But it's not a competition. I think you need to sit down with your in-laws and have a proper conversation about all this before you go much further.

GibbousHologram · 19/05/2016 18:38

Lolzilla

Backpfeifengesicht · 19/05/2016 18:38

I sincerely hope you're a troll. If you're not then I feel for your fiance.

FelicityGubbins · 19/05/2016 18:39

It's entirely possible they had actually delayed their own engagement so as not to pre empt yours while your dp pissed about for an entire year.