AIBU about my (future)brother in law proposing to my (future) sister in law so close to my proposal?

[TaliaTalksAlot84]

I'll try to keep this short, as I tend to ramble.
My oh said last April that he'd booked for us to go away for our 10 year anniversary next March (this year) to Paris.
While their hed planned lots of activities and things to do (not like him at all) and (long story short) he very romantically proposed. This is the man that got me a new mop and bucket for valentines day haha. Turns out his entire family new since last April he was going to propose.
His sister has been with her oh 12 years.
We went for (his) family get together in April and her oh proposed in front of her family, not even 4 weeks after my oh proposed! While I am happy I'm annoyed too. My oh mum knew my bil was going to propose and he'd been planning to do it for an entire 4 weeks! I don't see why he couldn't of waited a bit longer. My oh mum then calls all the aunts etc to say my sil is engaged but didn't even mention my ohs engagement (those that don't have Facebook didn't know, one aunt that did said couldn't he of waited a bit not fair on Phil and talia).
We have booked to get married next may, my sil is looking at 2 weeks after or 3 weeks before our date, because her friends are getting married later in the year and she can't be so close to theirs! Her mum and dad agree.
AIBU in

1. being miffed
2. asking her to give us a bit more time between our weddings?

Argh - x-post and DailyFaily beat me to it

WTF - you sound completely and utterly bonkers - grow up.

How dare they. Are they on glue!?

Of course YABU.

The engagement side of things, no biggie.

The wedding side of things.... If your BIL had known you've picked your date it's not U to ask him to change to another time. 2 sibling weddings in one month is unfair to guests and slightly ridiculous.

I would ask for a lovely family meeting and discuss like adults. If BIL and SIL insist on being dicks, move your date and carry on.

ffs. Heaven help them if you all end up trying for kids at the same time and they end up first or at the same time.....

OP - you may want to have a word with HQ you name both yourself and your fiance in your OP - anyone who knows you in real life will know this is you.

DailyFaily

Yes OP, I suggest you and your OH have a destination wedding, it will resolve many of these issues. Maui is ideal for you.

Ooo ooo Please can you have a double wedding and post non stop angst about how your Bridezilla sister in law is ruining YOUR big day by refusing to do everything you want..

Destination Wedding

It's not going to be an enormous shock that two couples who have decided to get married after 10+ years together have got engaged.

I would congratulate the couples but really wouldn't get excited about it. Nor would it matter if their weddings were close together.

It is a bit like buses though - nothing for a decade then bam, suddenly two together.

Yabu
They can get engaged whenever they want

I never understand why people get upset about these things. It doesn't take anything away from you.

Despite everyone saying that YABU and a bridezilla - I actually thingkyou would not be being unreasonable to be pissed off that your sister and brother in law are planning a wedding three weeks before yours only because you will be inviting the same family members and having two weddings so close together will probably be VERY inconvenient for them e.g. time off work, cost, travel, outfits etc. If I were you I would either wait a bit longer - next year(?) or I would pop off, just me and DP and marry in private. Congrats on your engagement.

To be fair, financially it would have been a massive financial struggle if my sisters had decided to get married within 3 weeks of each other, unless they had kindly decided to do so within a 10mn taxi drive from my house! Let alone a much reduced wedding gift.

I'm not sure you are grown up enough to get married.

AIBU in
1) being miffed
2) asking her to give us a bit more time between our weddings?

1. Yes
2. No harm in asking based on the practical reasons stated - 2 weddings in the same wage packet could be rough for some family members. BUT .. if this is actually based on the idea that your wedding somehow becomes less special if there's another one too close to it though - take a look at that. That suggests to me the performance of the thing is more important than the actual meaning of the thing

YABU - you don't have a monopoly on being engaged or married.

Another couple in the family shouldn't have to time their "events" around the timing of yours any more than you should do so in reverse.

Just be as happy for them as you expect them to be for you and maybe think about any deals you can both cut with suppliers like florists if you get them to do both functions and spend what you save on an epic honeymoon.

Seriously - you really need to chill out about this or you'll be a bridezilla in waiting.....

It only effects his family so parents siblings aunts, who surely have folk out for outfit gift hotel if they got married 6m apart or not. So e Pugh notice to save up not to take the hit in the same month.

YABVVVU about the proposal.

Wrt the weddings being so close together it could be a problem for the guests both financially and practically especially if they have to travel and book accommodation.

You can't back pedal quick enough to wriggle out of this one 😁 You are pissed off they've stolen the limelight getting engaged so quickly after you. Own your own shit! 😁

If it were me (and I'm fully aware this sounds bitchy!) it wouldn't bother me one bit because it sounds like while your DP has done it because he wants to, her DP has done it because he was getting grief or at least very much felt the pressure. Yes it could be coincidence that after 10 & 12 years together both couples are now getting married, but I highly doubt it. I'd feel sorry for her, not slighted.

I wouldn't even be slightly bothered about your MIL telling all & sundry about their engagement and not yours. Partly because I wouldn't give a shiney shite - I'd tell the people I wanted to know and it's common for mothers to be more involved with their daughters engagements/weddings than their sons.

Depending on who you are each going to invite & where you plan on holding the weddings, you might all have to have a discussion about dates, simply because it's unfair to expect any guests coming a long way to make the trip twice in quick succession. That and if you want to be st each other's weddings or not 😁

It's a bit silly to be upset about the proposal thing - it doesn't matter when someone proposes surely? But the wedding thing is a bit odd, I know what people are saying about their wedding they can have it any time but there is logistics to consider eg if people are travelling from far away then it is unlikely they will do it twice in a matter of weeks.

Seriously ?
YABU.

Concentrate on your own proposal & impending nuptials (congratulations)

No one else's is really any of your business.

Is this or real??!

What..so you're supposed to lounge in the limelight after an engagement proposal?! Sorry. Am I missing something?

God help her if she dares get pregnant immediately after you

In the nicest possible way, get a grip. HTH