So what do you do if one of your guests says they prefer white wine to red Baboooska. Do you think: 'Sod it! I'm serving beef so you'll drink the red wine' or do you get in a bottle of white?
That's a really random analogy, Limited.
'What would you like to drink?' is a pretty standard question to ask when people are sat having dinner at your house. Having a variety of drinks on-hand isn't difficult. No elaborate preparation, and if a bottle stays unopened, it keeps. Like Penguin said, guests bring some, too.
But yes, if a guest contacted me, beforehand, without being asked, to say 'I prefer white to red, Babooshka', I'd think that was weird. For a start, between guests' and host's bottles, there's usually a variety of wine there, so you must really feel strongly about white if you're getting in touch to make sure there's some on offer. I rarely drink red wine, since it triggers migraines, but I've never asked a host to cater for this. They offer red or white? I'll have white, thanks. Red or soft drink? Soft drink would be lovely. Not: 'could you not pop over to Sainsbury's, and pick me up a Pinot Grigio' or 'what about that bottle of Prosecco I saw in your fridge can we crack that open?'.
'What would you like me to cook for you?' isn't standard, unless it's a really small group. Preparing separate dishes to suit 6+ people's preferences takes a lot of time and effort. Most people understand this, which is why they inform the host of allergies/restrictions and don't start expressing preferences (unless pressed), since this isn't a restaurant. The fact that you're in someone's home, not in a commercial establishment where you can order each course and drink subject to your own preference, seems to be lost on some people.