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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that an 8 year old is far too young to be responsible for two 4 year olds and an 8 year old in an unsecured park.

200 replies

Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 19:52

I went to the park with my ds 4, to the park at about 7 pm, there I spotted a man with a bunch of kids, and thought some were with him. After a while he left the park with his ds, it transpired from the kids telling me voluntarily that the oldest child who was 8 was in charge of a bunch of very young children, which I feel is totally wrong, and irresponsible of the parents of these kids. I left at 7.30 and the kids were still playing. The 4 year old described where he lived, it was not near.

Surely this is not safe and fair on this 8 year old.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 19:56

That was meant to be that the 8 year old was responsible for two 4 year olds and a two year old, not another 8 year old, sorry.

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FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 19:59

I'd be inclined to mind your own business. If the kids didn't look mistreated, it may just be that in their house their parents are less anxious about children playing out.

It sounds like when my mum was younger - kids that age always played out in the street. Abductions haven't increased, awareness and anxiety has.

AndNowItsSeven · 12/05/2016 20:00

Less anxious about two and four year olds? I would have phoned the police.

AndNowItsSeven · 12/05/2016 20:01

In fact you should call them now op, why did you leave them alone?

pinkyredrose · 12/05/2016 20:01

YANBU! That's so wrong, way too late for the little ones plus what if anything happened, would the 8 yr old be blamed? Is there anyone you could let know, a PSCO or someone?

Miloarmadillo1 · 12/05/2016 20:03

Seriously future ??
An 8 yr old out on his own I'd be slightly hoiking my pants at that time of night, but left in charge of younger children? On what planet is it not negligent to have a 2 yr old out unsupervised?

HighwayDragon1 · 12/05/2016 20:05

I know that this line is trotted out a lot op but you should report it on 101

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:05

I'd be phoning the Police right now tbh. I wouldn't have even left. Not judging you, just saying what I would have done.

FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:05

Fair enough, it appears that you are not being unreasonable OP...

It's not what I'd do but I don't judge others set-ups unless there's actual signs of neglect or other unpleasant actions.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:06

And I say that as someone who shoots down the trigger happy 101 posters on here.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:08

I'd say an eight year old being in charge of a bunch of young kids in a park a distance away from their house, late in the evening is neglectful.

Purplepixiedust · 12/05/2016 20:10

Another vote for calling the police. An 8yo being responsible for themselves is one thing but to leave them looking after little ones is not on.

FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:12

Paul I'd say it depends entirely on the context and the kids involved.

Calling the police because you THINK something MIGHT be neglectful when you've judged someone from half an hour snapshot seems a bit over the top.

Natsku · 12/05/2016 20:15

Kids play out from 3 years old on my street without even an 8 year old to be in charge of them (though sometimes an 8 year old is out there too, but usually its a 3 year old, 5 year old and 6 year old), well out of sight of home. If I came across similar in a park I would leave it. Its still light out at 7:30 so I wouldn't consider that late but kids are allowed out after dark here from a young age too, doesn't concern me.

Birdsgottafly · 12/05/2016 20:17

Two, or nearly three year old?

Two is too young, to be left in the Care of another child.

It was common place, when I grew up, in the 70's, but there were less cars and always older Women about, who looked out others.

What's the general environment like?

Blimmincheek · 12/05/2016 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 12/05/2016 20:20

I'd be inclined to mind your own business

I'd say it depends entirely on the context and the kids involved

The context appears to be an 8 year old in charge of two four year olds and a two year, in a public park, at a time when the younger ones should have probably have been getting ready for bed.

I have a very responsible 8 year old, and no way would I leave her in charge of three young children. It would be utterly unfair and irresponsible.

There's plenty of threads to trot out the 'we all played on our own until 10.00 p.m. and we were alright line, but this really isn't one of them.

I really hope you can alert someone OP.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:22

I dident call Police as I did not have my phone on me, just popped back to the park to check, they have gone. I wasent sure if I was being a busy body but next time I will be more proactive. I have a meeting with dd SW tomorrow as she has ASD and will tell him, to see what he thinks. I don't know their names or where they live so Police might not be able to follow it up. I could kick myself for not doing something there and then.

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Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:23

I will inform dd social worker tomorrow, and see if he can refer it to safeguarding or if there is anything he can do.

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Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:24

I will ask him what I can do if I encounter a similar situation next time.

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Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:26

No the kids told me that they were with the 8 year old girl. No other seats nearby, or adults.

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FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:29

I really think this is an overreaction. A group of kids playing in the park is hardly neglect.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:31

GadgetsLab screw a 'snapshot' into someone's life. This isn't judging a parent for shouting at their kid. This is five children, the youngest being two, being left in a park some distance from their home late in the evening. That's not a 'snapshot' of their family life that could be misconstrued; it's plain neglect. Perhaps the parents are perfect in every other way but they need to be informed that that's completely unacceptable.

FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:33

I don't think it's unacceptable Paul, it's no more dangerous statistically to be playing out in the street now than it was 40 years ago. Cars are the exception however I don't think you'll find any in a park! People are just neurotic about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:34

future we are talking about an 8 year old in charge of 2 4 year olds and an 2 year old, not a bunch of 8/9 year olds playing out, or even her playing on her own. The park is surrounded by foliage so not somewhere where young children woukd play in the evening on their own. I will inform dd SW and get the duty number from him in case this happens again.

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