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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that an 8 year old is far too young to be responsible for two 4 year olds and an 8 year old in an unsecured park.

200 replies

Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 19:52

I went to the park with my ds 4, to the park at about 7 pm, there I spotted a man with a bunch of kids, and thought some were with him. After a while he left the park with his ds, it transpired from the kids telling me voluntarily that the oldest child who was 8 was in charge of a bunch of very young children, which I feel is totally wrong, and irresponsible of the parents of these kids. I left at 7.30 and the kids were still playing. The 4 year old described where he lived, it was not near.

Surely this is not safe and fair on this 8 year old.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:35

We'll have to agree to disagree then Smile

FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:35

What are you actually worrying about? Abduction? The younger children becoming ill and the older one not knowing what to do?

FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:35

That was to OP

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:35

aero that's a good plan.

Natsku · 12/05/2016 20:36

Fair enough to inform your SW OP, I would do that if I felt unsure about a situation (DD has a SW too), just I wouldn't feel unsure about that particular situation due to where I live.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:38

Yes Future quite a possibility, very difficult for a 8 year old to be responsible for that many kids.

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:41

Aero they're probably siblings or cousins, I'm sure their parents have informed them what to do!

Sirona · 12/05/2016 20:43

I allow my 8 year old to the park two streets out of sight but he's with a gang of mates and has to stay with them We live on an estate where everyone knows everyone too. There's no way in hell would I let his 4 year old sister go with him alone. He would panic if she got hurt or more likely wouldn't keep a proper eye on her.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 20:44

The lone eight year old with two toddlers and two four year olds? Right... Your assumption that they are cousins is far more reaching than the assumption that an eight year old couldn't cope with an emergency with four young kids.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 12/05/2016 20:45

Two year old starts screaming because he/she is tired. Four year old falls off climbing frame at the same moment. Two year old won't move, having a tantrum and uncooperative. Second four year old takes off to 'look at something' in bushes.

Dos the eight year old leave the two year old to find the four year old? Leave the hurt four year old to find the other one? Leave the lot of them to find a parent?

How does a eight year deal with that situation?

Instantly, all posters who think this is bloody awful parenting are 'paranoid' and of course, neurotic. In fact, it's not all about abduction. It's about all of the possibilities of harm arising because no-one is actually taking care of them.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:47

One 4 year old and his sister who was 2, I believe was unrelated, they were Afro/Carribean, and the other 2 kids were Caucasian in appearence.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:49

paul 1 lone 8 year old, 2, 4 year olds, 1 2 year old. Yes indeed it's about safety, she is still a young child, who dies not have the skills to deal with unexpected emergency.

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:50

How likely is an "unexpected emergency" though?

It's not what I'd do but I don't judge others, they know their kids and what they're capable of.

It appears most would notify someone.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 20:57

You cannot trust kids 100% in that situation, in that situation, a responsible adult needed to be there.

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 12/05/2016 20:58

The eldest could have had a phone for all you know and within a couple of minutes had a parent there.

Blimmincheek · 12/05/2016 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanDabbyFloozy · 12/05/2016 21:03

Two year olds are unpredictable, 4 year olds not much better. I can think of no circumstances when this is okay.

SolsburyHell · 12/05/2016 21:03

Future, you are clearly going to come up with a reason why you would ignore every eventuality of this crap parenting. You determination not to judge is just facilitating neglect.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 21:04

I personally would not be happy leaving my young child with an 8 year old, an 8 year old looking after other young children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 21:05

Even with my 2 DC, it is difficult when out and about, you really have to be on the ball,

OP posts:
Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 21:08

It's only when something goes wrong, it can easily, how many times have we read of children disappearing, being attacked. April Jones, the 7 year old a year ago who was with a bunch of friends and broke off the group and was killed. I read of a 8 year girl who went to the park, and was raped. It can happen.

OP posts:
MintJulip · 12/05/2016 21:10

it certainly wouldnt have harmed to call 101 and get some involvement.

Its hard I think to get clear information out of DC that age. I listen to MIL questing DD, " did you eat tonight", "No". when she has eaten a huge dinner.

So there may have been a mistake somewhere along the line, but no way would I leave my 8 year old with 4 year old, and DD is highly responsible sensible girl but no way! Err on side of caution.

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 21:11

Aero, its a no brainer, 8 years old is not old enough to be a baby sitter responsible for THREE small dc.

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 21:12

I think F is being deliberalty goady and I would ignre.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2016 21:15

Birds we live in a good neighbourhood, it is semi rural. Yes dd has a SW as we have respite hours for her and support so a real help.

OP posts: