AIBU to think in a way it's easier without dh

[mylittlearmy]

Just that really normally have really bad depression and anxiety. I work with dh and he went away on a trip yesterday . At work I could talk to people without him having a go at me. I had a nice relaxed journey home and then had a relaxed evening with no one moaning I hadn't done something or shouting because he lost a game or the kids were loud etc

I feel incredibly guilty that I have enjoyed the day and felt so relaxed! AIBU to think that emotionally at least it is easier without dh ?

While my dh was away my ds cried bitterly because he missed him which is part of why I worry about not being here, the kids seem to argue with me and love everything dh does!

Lona I looked on the housing association website but the only houses on there are one or two bedroom flats - I would feel terrible moving the kids into a tiny flat from our lovely house when they have a lovely life here.

I am not trying to be awkward about this just trying to explain why I have been trying to ignore things!

Children are very resilient though OP, yes they would find it hard for a little while to downsize but I'm sure they would be happier to do that and have a happy mummy than be in the larger house and have you so downtrodden and unhappy.

I'm so so sorry for your situation. I'm afraid I don't have much practical advice to give but wanted to post to show solidarity

Thanks hunting

OP, the size of a house has nothing to do with how happy your children are. It has much more to do with how happy you are.

"...the kids seem to argue with me and love everything dh does!".

That would probably be because:
a) he doesn't do very much with them so they crave his attention, any attention whether it be negative or positive.
b) he's probably trained them not to criticise him or get on his wrong side and they comply to avoid consequences.
c) he doesn't do any of the day to day hard work you do including most of the discipline so he can be fair weather/fun dad when he wants to be.

I hope you can get sorted with accommodation pretty soon and get you and your children away from this man.

Well we had a really nice day yesterday. Dh did the garden, everyone was happy, we played a computer game with me dh and the four older ones (gaming family alert).

Then the kids went to bed and dh seemed to want sex and since we had had a nice day I was perfectly happy about it. But it turned into a nightmare which ended up in an argument I have no idea why.

I told dh I was afraid of him, that he scares me having sex, that his moods and tempers ruin things. He just says "well things are hard" and " I wouldn't hurt you"

I just feel so terrible today I don't even want to get up. I thought things were good yesterday but no matter how good the days are the nights are just terrible.

I can't imagine leaving , or doing anything when it's such s struggle to get up and face the day even

Oh . I think we do things one day at a time. What seemed possible yesterday I feasible next week.

I'm so sorry

He IS hurting you. I really hope WA get back to you soon. You need real life support to leave your abuser