I won't say LTB because I have been exactly where you are and despite everyone else trying ro make me see the light, I felt ashamed that I couldn't find this supposed strength they all said I would have and I tried even harder to make things 'work'.
It is emotional and financial abuse, he has you in a controlled position where he knows you feel hopeless because leaving doesn't seem a realistic option, you depend on him. I was the same, I couldn't leave because the children needed to be fed, housed and clothed. I worked (he didn't) and all money was handled by him. He exaggerated our financial desperation so that I felt trapped, and put me down because he knew that I was easy to shut down. I couldn't approach him about anything because if he flew off the handle it was my fault, so I kept my silence and sank into depression. Day in, day out I went to work, he would drop me off and wait outside in the car all day, take me home, where I would do the housework, handle the children, cook clean and have to submit to sex I hated.
He did become violent, and I still stayed another 4 years, even though I was sure I would eventually leave in a bodybag. One day I woke up and found my hope, I spoke to my manager at work and said I planned to leave and wouldn't be able to continue in my position because I feared his reaction and retaliation. I was right, he attempted to set fire to the building after putting the windows through late at night.
I took my dc to a neighbour immediately after school while he was in the bathroom, and asked if we could wait there while I called the police.
As soon as they arrived, it was a breath of fresh air, I just poured everything to them. They did a risk assessment and helped me find emergency accommodation. Additional officers were called to keep him in one room while others escorted me through the house to collect belongings for myself and the dc. We left that day and haven't seen him since.
I am still not strong enough to provide the witness statements and evidence tapes, but it is marked as a historical case if I ever do.
The one thing I notice about my life now, is that I am happy, my dc are happy and there is no weight of depression. Yes it was hard, extremely hard. But that tiny first step gave way for me to feel so relieved, I think adrenaline powered me through. It's such an empowering feeling to finally realise that they don't have any hold over you really. I probably kick myself more over not doing it sooner now that the hopeless, despairing fog has lifted.
I must say, after finally walking out, the things like money and housing didn't seem immediately cincerning. There was such a massive amount of support that was rolled in, I was overwhelmed. I remember thanking a support worker beyond belief and she said to me "You aren't the first, you won't be the last, we know what we're doing, and you'll be ok."
Honestly, there is so much in place to help you out of this situation when you are ready. Don't fret about things that won't change while you stay, like not having enough money or nowhere to go.
A hand hold from me, stay about here, there are plenty of lovely ladies who will give you comfort. And for when you are ready, best wishes.
