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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies in travel systems

430 replies

Excusemeforpostinghere · 11/05/2016 08:03

Am I bu that I just get the rage when I see babies in carseats clunked to the pram?

Am I being a judgypants?

Fair enough on the nip in & out jobs like school run.

But supermarket? Theme park? National trust gardens? Running? Town? Zoo? Places were the child is likely going to have been in that carseat for a few hours!

They've already been in it for the car journey. I bet likely, some will only be out of them all day for feeding time.

I watched holiday supersavers last night and the baby did the walk to supermarket, around supermarket and walk nack home again in the flippin carseat!

I just want to go up to them and tell them to stop being lazy and think of their child's spine development.

OP posts:
Lackingsleep77 · 12/05/2016 00:45

Yabu. And frankly u should mind ur business. Every body has a right to do what's right by their kids

Caterina99 · 12/05/2016 02:14

OP you'd explode in a fit of judgy rage here (Chicago suburbs). Everyone uses travel systems with the car seats! I was just thinking the other day that you hardly ever see the lie flat prams.

I even went to a car seat safety class run by our hospital when I was pregnant. The advice is to keep them in no longer than about 2 hours at a time. Perfect for a trip to the supermarket! Bit different I suppose if you walk everywhere and have no need for the car seat part, but if you're driving (like you do to get anywhere where I live) then they are extremely useful.

I will definitely be using one for my next child. At least I won't be judged over here whilst doing it!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 12/05/2016 03:52

I'm another who's DD wouldn't stop screaming if in her carrycot, she only settled in the car seat - not for want of trying.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 12/05/2016 04:38

Whose - I mean whose (self critical grammar and spelling pedant)

TowerRavenSeven · 12/05/2016 05:20

Rage? Really?! That's hilarious. YABVU. OP you'd really be raging, ds slept in his car seat - part of travel system - the first two weeks of his life. Bad reflux baby...and as much as I would have loved for ds to be in a sling he Hated it and refused to be in one.

He's 14 now and straight spine.

Amy0039 · 12/05/2016 06:55

AIBU to get the rage when I see posts like yours?? What gives you the right to judge other parents so harshly, when as has been said several times, you dont know the full circumstances. We've recently had to change our travel system, so we seldom need to use the car seat on the pram chassis, but we regularly did with our previous one and I can assure you that it had nothing to do with ignorance regarding spine development, or laziness as you so rudely suggested!! If I needed to take the bus rather than walk somewhere I had the choice of using the car seat, or potentially having to get off the bus and wait for another half way through our journey as it didn't collapse down without removing the carry cot, which A) didn't save any space in the first place, and B) would have left me trying to get my son, the carry cot and the chassis of the bus. I also had little choice if we neeeded to take a taxi it's impractical to be pushing the pram with the carry cot attached and carrying the car seat, as well as trying to do the grocery shopping or whatever other errand we were running that meant we had too much to carry to take the bus. People do what they need to do to get by, get off your high horse and stop judging them for it!!!!

SpaceDinosaur · 12/05/2016 07:32

This is a really interesting thread.

I kind of agree with the OP but would never have been brave enough to start this...

YY to spine development worries and suffocation... But each to their own, there's information out there.

Where I work, parents take their babies out of the car in the car seat, walk them inside and then take them out of the car seat for classes.
Like their baby is some bloody designer handbag ffs! Babies are usually awake but it's convenient not to hold them just to plonk them on the floor in their car seat.
Also. Carrying that weight at that angle cannot be good for mum's back.

I don't allow car seats, prams etc in the room (dangerous for mobile babies) so they're put on the floor/tables/everywhere outside.

My brain.... How is being constantly unclipped, put on the floor, inadvertently knocked when empty, bashed on things because they're ridiculously ungainly good for the car seat?
If you have a minor shunt your insurance company will replace the seat.
If you bang it on the wall you carry on using it.

BertieBotts · 12/05/2016 08:29

This thread is like a bizarre collection of all the weirdest baby myths/misunderstandings ever.

Talk about clutching at straws.

monkeymamma · 12/05/2016 08:39

Oh bloody hell. Sometimes I wish I was a 70s mum without all this terrible terrible angst and rules and guilt and judgement. Coupla jars of baby food at 3m no suncream and stick em in the car boot in a carrycot. I'm joking of course but we've reached a point where parenthood is borderline impossible. Are they eating enough veg. Am praising them enough/too much to ensure healthy emotional development. Is my car seat fucking up their spines. Enough already!!!!!!!
Neither of mine would tolerate the pram/lying on their backs, and they were both ginormous (so the sling didn't really work and yes thank you we tried different kinds). So it was carry em (which we did loads), car seat on travel system, or buggy (not recommended for newborns). With ds1 we did buggy. With ds2 it was car seat. Both seem fine btw.
Good luck getting the judgy pants out your bum crack OP!

monkeymamma · 12/05/2016 08:40

Space dinosaur comedy gold 'babies are usually awake' BAHAHA! Mine ONLY slept in their car seats the little buggers. And once they nodded off they were out for the count.

TheEagle · 12/05/2016 09:20

spacedinosaur, how many children do you have?

When my twins were going for their 6 week GP check, it was pouring from the heavens. Have you ever put up a double buggy and strapped small twins into one in the pissing rain? Everything and everyone gets soaked.

So did I carry my twins into the surgery in their carseats? Yes, yes I did.

Designer handbags my arse.

Natstar98 · 12/05/2016 09:24

You ask if you are being judgemental and then later say you don't care. I bet you are a delightful woman and the perfect mother 😴

Fratelli · 12/05/2016 09:27

I feel sorry for the op! Their life must be really boring if this is what they get the rage about! You have no idea how long they've been in it. I think you should tell the parents to their faces what your opinion is. See what reaction you get Grin

Lizzie92 · 12/05/2016 09:55

I think if you don't care that you are being judgy you should most definitely keep your opinions to yourself. It's none of your business to tell other parents if you like what there doing. I'll take a car seat over a screaming refluxy baby in pain any day.

chubbylover78 · 12/05/2016 13:04

Keeping a child in a car seat for a long time is wrong, last and damaging to the child's development. I was advised by my midwife and health worker that no more than an hour at a time should be spent in a car seat travel system. In long journeys we would make regular stops and make sure my son could have a good stretch out of his. Imagine being scrunched up all day like that yourself? Not comfy. They're are designed for the safe transport of a baby not for keeping them in because the parent can't be bothered.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/05/2016 13:08

I'd imagine that most parents do take their babies out of the car seat attached to the chassis. Babies tend to need things, feeding, nappy changes, comfort.

TattyMonkey · 12/05/2016 13:10

There is a US paediatrician who has become quite famous and who advocates for babies to sleep all night in those car seat shaped things that swing back and forth ie electronic baby swings. He says that for the small percentage of babies who do not sleep more than a few hours at night that it's a lifesaver and safer for baby and his/her parents than having sleepless nights.

Buckinbronco · 12/05/2016 13:14

Op you are so funny! Why do you care about other babies in car seats? You sound unhinged. When my DC were tiny we put them in the car seat or carry cot based on what was convenient at the time. I couldn't care less what you think- why would I?

Reebs123 · 12/05/2016 13:46

I think yABU. Mums using travel systems are not lazy. I used it for my 1st daughter now 6 without knowing about the 2hr rule. With my youngest now 8m she was a colicky baby who settled in car but then was disturbed when I got her out of car seat to put in pram flat & Wudnt settle again, screaming her head off making shopping unbearable with every1 staring. Slings aren't comfortable 4 all. I've tried 2 & they giv me backache & neck ache. The makers of travel systems should make it clear that they're not good for spine development & can block airways.

FoodPorn · 12/05/2016 14:11

YANBU. I always feel sorry for the babies I see getting taken everywhere in a car seat. I've always assumed that their parents just don't realise it's not good for them but from reading this thread it seems they do but... err... do it anyway! To each their own I guess. I've no understanding of that choice though.

RequestInUse · 12/05/2016 16:04

I have not RTT but? I don't think YABU.

There are times, like you say it's ok.

I have a friend who had a baby who likes to be in his car seat more than the basenett bit, but as it's better for him to not be in his car seat for hrs, she picks and chooses when to use which bit.

I used the term Judgypants in here once Blush lol

CurlyhairedAssassin · 12/05/2016 17:31

OP, is your day job writing the front page health scare articles for the Daily Fail? Because that's how you're coming across. Deliberately or ignorantly, I'm not sure which, misunderstanding data and findings of research reports to (wrongly) support your claims.

Oh and please someone find me a report about how car seats are bad for babies' spines. And by the way, have you ever seen the position of a a baby in the uterus for the last couple of months? Scrunched up with back curved. Terrible! Jail all mothers!

swelchphr · 12/05/2016 17:42

YABVU. For an infant, who falls asleep anywhere and anytime, it would be silly to wake them to transport them in/out of their car seat and stroller or carrier. Also, when it's freezing, snowing, or pouring rain, I have no interest hanging out of the car while trying to get them in & out of 2 things.

imwithspud · 12/05/2016 18:10

I always feel sorry for the babies I see getting taken everywhere in a car seat.

I'm curious, unless you follow these babies around for a significant amount of time, how do you know they're being taken everywhere in the car seat?Confused

scarednoob · 12/05/2016 18:16

it's threads like this that make me absolutely paranoid about DD in her car seat - she's only allowed 90mins - 2 hours in it, and I usually spend about 1hr 59 mins of that holding her little head up to stop it flopping right down onto her chest.

I wish I could be more relaxed about it - I know most of my friends were, and none of their friends have kids with warped spines or oxygen deprivation!

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