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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies in travel systems

430 replies

Excusemeforpostinghere · 11/05/2016 08:03

Am I bu that I just get the rage when I see babies in carseats clunked to the pram?

Am I being a judgypants?

Fair enough on the nip in & out jobs like school run.

But supermarket? Theme park? National trust gardens? Running? Town? Zoo? Places were the child is likely going to have been in that carseat for a few hours!

They've already been in it for the car journey. I bet likely, some will only be out of them all day for feeding time.

I watched holiday supersavers last night and the baby did the walk to supermarket, around supermarket and walk nack home again in the flippin carseat!

I just want to go up to them and tell them to stop being lazy and think of their child's spine development.

OP posts:
LBOCS2 · 11/05/2016 15:35

Well. It sounds to me that the OP seems to be confusing people who ignore guidelines (which are there for safety) and keep their baby in a car seat all day with those people who specifically bought a car seat which can be moved from the car to the pram chassis for the convenience for short journeys. They're quite different things and your judgey pants are in a twist about both, bizarrely.

This time around I've got a car seat which I can plonk on my pushchair chassis when I'm doing short journeys. I didn't have that last time, and it's so much easier. Judge away.

LBOCS2 · 11/05/2016 15:36

Nerr, last time around we had the Britax first class plus - works from birth and is rear facing to 12kg.

Artandco · 11/05/2016 15:45

There are many rear facing 0-4 year old car seats now. They are called extended rear facing and is what's recommended more and more now. So yes they stay rear facing until over 4 years now. It's far safer

Strokethefurrywall · 11/05/2016 15:49

This truly is the thread that keeps on giving.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 11/05/2016 16:47

This is after being part of two (failed) separate resuscitation attempts on babies who were left in their seats for 2.5 and about 3 hours respectively.

Dear lord Rainy that's horrible to read, I can't even imagine having to do that Sad

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/05/2016 17:57

Oh right, that's an interesting set of opinions op. Thanks ever so much for sharing Hmm

SewSlapdash · 11/05/2016 18:22

I'm so pleased that RaeSkywalker has read and posted directly from the study that the OP linked to. There is also this (a direct quote):

^52% of the victims dying from strangulation by the car seat restraint straps, and 48% dying from positional asphyxia.^

The study also notes that ALL of the deaths associated with strollers and slings (that the OP is so fond of as an alternative to the abhorrent car seat Hmm) were as a a result of positional asphyxia. So perhaps a pram isn't that safe after all...

lunalunalooney · 11/05/2016 19:03

What im understanding from this thread (and granted I have only read the first 2 pages) but OP would rather wake a sleeping baby in their car seat rather than buy a travel system which means they can be transported in their car seat.

Tbh OP- i'd be more inclined to judge you for waking your sleeping child than your use of a travel system if i'm honest.

Kezbez87 · 11/05/2016 19:08

How judgemental are some of you? Ever thought that the parents may not know?? I used the car seat A LOT when my daughter was young, and had absolutely no idea that it was bad for her. When I found out about that it wasn't recommended for long I felt awful that I used it as often as I did, and wished someone had told me! Just checked my manual (still have it) and there's nothing in there, and my midwife/health visitors never mentioned it either. Luckily she doesn't appear to have any issues, however I realise that an issue may not yet be apparent, and I hope to God there aren't any and will be wracked with guilt if there are, but I genuinely had no idea, and definitely don't need judgemental people making out I'm a bad parent for doing it! She was comfy, cool and happy in there, with plenty of room, if she wasn't I'd definitely have not used it, but I genuinely didn't realise, and thought as long as all the above applied it was fine to use as often as I wanted. I'll admit it was convenient, but convenience or not, had I known my daughters health/development was at stake, I wouldn't have used it and won't make the same mistake if I have another, but please don't judge all parents to know and basically not care, as that may not be the case!

bigarse1 · 11/05/2016 19:19

I had twins who had such dreadful reflux that the minute they laid down they vomited and chocked. they couldn't go in a pushchair as they were too little. they went in a car seat more than any of my other children and guess what? every single health professional told us to do it!!!! there are times and places where it is not laziness but literally lifesaving! and if given the same time again I would do exactly the same!

Grapejuiceforgrownups · 11/05/2016 19:22

YABVVVVU

To defend travel systems for a second- they are a godsend. I live 5 min drive from town. I had the kind of DD who was either asleep or feeding. When she was little, travel system allowed me to easily get to town, do some shopping, have a quick coffee and get home, easily within the 2 hours. DD would fall asleep on the way to shops and stay asleep until I got home. Having to transfer her between car seat and buggy, therefore waking her up at every stage, would have been a bloody nightmare. The thought that someone like you might have been watching me, thinking these judgey thoughts because my baby was in a car seat on wheels (and because she had a dummy in, and because I breastfed in public, and because she also had bottles, and because of how we weaned, and because I went back to work early, and a million other things judgey mcjudgeypants mums like to get their knickers in a twist about) is getting me into something of a rage. I'm afraid you deserve the bollocking you will doubtless receive on this thread OP!

pinkyandthebrain01 · 11/05/2016 19:24

Everyone's entitled to an opinion but sometimes it's best to keep it to yourself, 'if you can't say something nice .....' And all that!
Being a new mummy is hard enough as it is without the fear of other people judging you. We should all be helping and supporting each other not knocking others down to make you feel better.

Legendofthephoenix · 11/05/2016 19:25

Slings are just as bad they can cause bowed legs. My next door neighbour uses them all the time and you can see on the older children their walk looks awkward.

BertieBotts · 11/05/2016 19:31

WTF, bowed legs from slugs? Confused I have heard it all now!

squizita · 11/05/2016 19:33

Re 0-4 car seats, there are some (actually safest) that stay rear facing until 4. They come with an insert for tinies.

I suffered from anxiety and a hcp had to explain the risk from SIDS in a car seat was far less/lower than THE RISK FROM A CAR ACCIDENT. They are life savers if you adhere to the 2 hour rule.
My dd is was/is breastfed and I would take her out and feed her after an hour.
Once we got caught in traffic and I had a panic attack she'd die if I went over the 2 hours.

What worries me about these threads is:

  1. Could encourage silly choices about car seats or lead to women never driving because it's suddenly a massive big scary thing (leading to possibly isolation)
  2. Could lead to babies being woken and under sleeping because parents are scared of judgement.
  3. Could lead to safe parents feeling guilty or shamed for doing something that's really a 1/2000+ risk.
squizita · 11/05/2016 19:34

Legend no they can't but physios encourage them for kids who have joint issues. Correlation not causation.

Woolyheads · 11/05/2016 19:35

KatyN how did you not have a car Seats? How did it not fit in your car? How did you get about and when did you get to use your car?

FuzzyOwl · 11/05/2016 19:40

OP, I'm not sure which is more ridiculous - you being so overly invested and offended by other people's parenting choices, or your life being so dull and mundane that you need to start threads like this for your entertainment! Biscuit

lissa90 · 11/05/2016 19:40

I had the full travel system where you had basket, that lasts all of 8 weeks - how annoying, the car seat attachment and then the normal buggy seat.
I used the car seat for errand runs if my DS was asleep, but if he was awake always transferred him to the basket or buggy.
The Car seat attachment is just so convenient though, which I think is why poor babies get stuck in them for longer than they should.

TurquoiseDress · 11/05/2016 19:41

I know where you're coming from OP!

We had a car seat/travel system- were given the adapters- but never once used the car seat out of the car.

Much preferred LO to be lying flat in the pram. But then I do live in urban London so was able to walk everywhere.

I do think babies look all scrunched up in the travel system seats.

Understand the convenience of not waking them by taking them out of seat, but I'd like to think they weren't spending hours in them.

Other people make their own choices for their children, not much you can do about it.

Randomer234 · 11/05/2016 19:46

Yes yabu how can you judge people you don't know! I couldnt use a sling due a a big baby and hip/back problems. I found it easier and better for my son to be taken out the car in his car seat and it just clip onto the buggy while he was a baby... It helped with his reflux and made it easier for me. He was never in his car seat for more than an hour without him wanting feeding/cuddles. So I see nothing wrong with it! Stop being so judgemental

Fulltimemummy85 · 11/05/2016 19:51

How dare you judge others. I have never used a travel system but wouldn't judge somebody who did! I would also never use a sling as my babies were big and I am small. Get off your high horse and do whatever you want but don't look down on others for acting differently !

littlemisseatsherfeelings · 11/05/2016 19:55

I think the disappearance of OP means they've either achieved what they wanted which was a bit of aggravated 'banter' for their own entertainment or have realised they're being fucking stupid. All of those who've agreed with OP clearly never had the hell of reflux or a colicky baby, or just a heinous baby that wouldn't settle in an 'approved' carrycot. Babies can be such dumbasses sometimes right?!

Come on in and post your biggest struggle with your baby and how you coped and let us all judge on that, because you know, the sisterhood and all that. FFS...Angry

bestestdoris · 11/05/2016 20:12

If my baby who doesn't nap very easily is asleep when I arrive somewhere, then no I'm not going to wake her up to transfer her to the buggy/pram. I thought mum forums were to support fellow mums and women in general, not to slag them off and judge their parenting.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 11/05/2016 20:15

Dear God to people really give a shit about stuff like this?
Really?

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