Last week we went to MIL's for Sunday lunch. We had gammon and I made a big thing about saying its my favourite and how hungry I was. All the men (OH, BIL, FIL) got about 6-7 slices 
. While I and the women get 2 small slices (wouldn't cover a slice of bread). I even got a smaller portion of potatoes and veg. What really didn't help is that my FIL didn't even finish his! 
When I went home I had to cook myself something to eat! I'm pregnant and they always make jokes about what my appetites been like recently 
(good-natured ones). My MIL and SIL hardly eat anything, so I wonder if its that, or an old-fashioned thing.
I know it isn't a big deal, and I have a great relationship with her, so it really isn't worth falling out about. But it happens every time I go round! Thoughts?
AIBU?
To be irritated that MIL gives men 2-3 times more food than women?
Ladyboluna · 10/05/2016 09:03
This is so interesting.
My mother is tiny, seems to exist on coffee and air and bitching and does the same thing with men/women portions. Oh and she's always cold.
If we go out to eat she gets visibly angry if anyone orders a starter or a dessert. In her mind one course is enough and anything else is sheer gluttony.
Also once dinner is over (at 6 bastarding PM) she puts the kitchen on 'lock down'. No-one is allowed in and God forbid anyone attempts to start making a snack. Then they get the snide comments and slamming of cupboard doors. She even tries to do this in MY HOUSE 
.
I love her but her attitudes to food are fucked up.
I give more to the men in our family except skinny ds2 because they have bigger appetites than me and can eat more.
My dh is 6ft 4 and me 4ft 10.5. there's no way I could eat the same amount. I struggle to keep up with dd who is 5ft 3. 
So, I suppose I do this out of habit as men do tend to eat more than omen in general.
Tinkly I am small and sedentary due to a disability too. I also don't have an appetite (only due to meds, I was a big greedy guts before 
) but luckily DH is very very tall and does an active job. He needs well over 2500/3000 calories a day, definitely more than double what I need/eat. Whenever we go out I order a starter and a normal main but shovel half my main onto DH's (or the teenagers' ) plate. Could you do something like this? It works well for us. Don't worry about ordering two starters though if this works, I also do this and have been known to order a DC a child's meal and swapped them.
I have to say, having my eating habits change (albeit not deliberately so I'm not judging or performing or anything ) has made me realise how big portions are these days. I think 6 or 7 slices of gammon is a lot - your MIL should find a happy medium for everyone!
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My MIL (i like her, i really do, this is my only beef with her) once looked at the bread i had buttered ready for DHs sandwiches (tall, builder, not fat) and said ''Oh ..... All that animal fat ...... ''.
Yes, i said cheerfully, he likes plenty of butter, and slapped a bit more on
(i'm not going to moan about her anymore because she is nice)
Ha! Not in our family, we are all horrendously polite and good at sharing equally.
But DHs family are different!
MIL used to serve the veg in hot bowls and handed out hot plates with slices of meat on, and the order to 'tuck in'... which we all did as she would grab her plate, the next bottle of wine or whatever and join us.
.. but she always handed BIL a piled up plate. I always wondered why, there was no obvious reason for it. Then, one day, she handed out the plates and he got a plate with only meat on it, like the rest of us. He poured gravy on it, inhaled it and held his plate op for a refill... before she had even sat down. She gave him her plate of meat, which this time he piled high with veg and tucked in, slurpily (did I mention he east like and Alsation, literally chasing the food down to the plate, even licking the gravy up?). She managed to carve some remaining bits off the already depleted joint onto his dirty plate for herself to eat.
By the time she finished that he had almost emptied the veg bowls and she got very, very little to eat. No one said anything, I wanted to but, given his PFB status, was too scared I'd start WWIII.
When she came to us I sat her next to the roasties, gave her a plate, with slices of meat on, and poured her a glass of wine, before returning to the other plates... BIL was visibly agitated, watching his mum help herself to the best of the veg - and yes, I was childish enough to give him his plate last, well, at the same time as I sat down (again closest to the roasties) 
My prize for that was that MIL would hide a good bottle or two of red behind my chair, putting 'other' bottles on the table. Then she would refill our glasses from the good bottles
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